Apotheosis
by Akuni-A
Summary: One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone. [Pairing: RenjixIchigo. Second in the Amaranthine series, sequel to 'Nexus']
1. Chapter 1 Resurgence

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 60,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Resurgence**

Forever was long enough not to worry about the future.

But sometimes _forever_ really weighed heavily. Ichigo stretched out on his bed, tired and alone – alone, as was usually the case, because the only person he'd ever share it with lived in Soul Society and they only got to see each other one weekend a month at best.

It was worth every lonely night of the past eight months, every bad dream without comforting arms to hold him and remind him that the pain was shared and would gradually fade with time. It was an altogether _tolerable_ situation, but that didn't mean they had to _like_ it.

He missed Renji intensely. It had been nearly three weeks since his lover's last visit to the living world – a visit that had been cut short by an emergency in Soul Society. Those emergencies were coming more frequently, according to the letters he got regularly from Renji and occasionally from his other shinigami friends.

One of those letters sat open on the bed beside him, and its contents gave him a lot to think about. Ichigo picked it up and scanned it again, though he already knew it by heart. Renji's writing style was a _little_ tidier than his speech patterns; his voice filled Ichigo's mind as he read.

_Ichigo,_

_Hey. It's been a rough week. Two more patrols went to Hueco Mundo after another one of those freakish monsters attacked. Was a joint mission, us and the 9th. No one was hurt – this time. These things are getting weirder. They're bigger, uglier, and harder to take down. We're stretched pretty thin. Wish ya had some spare time coming up, could really use ya. Can't be helped though – your next break's not for another month, right?_

_It's not all bad here, though. The guys are determined to have a good time in between fights (though they like that part, too). Sometimes they're a little too determined – ya should've seen the look on Kuchiki-taichou's face when the Shinigami Women's Association auctioned off a picture of him skinny dipping! Ikkaku was the one who spilled the beans to Nemu that he was out swimming – and don't ask me how Ikkaku found that out, 'cause I dunno. I'll ask him when Unohana-taichou releases him next week. Hah._

_Speaking of that, gotta go plan next week's patrol schedule. _

_Miss ya. See ya in a couple weeks._

_Renji_

More attacks. Ichigo's sigh turned into a yawn. The situation in Soul Society was getting more tense with each new attack. He worried for his friends fighting what was turning into yet another war, only this time the enemy was still unknown. They could only hope it wasn't another smiling, friendly face creeping up to stab them in the back…

His arm slid off his chest to hang over the edge of the bed, the letter slipping out of his fingers and fluttering to the floor.

§

_Battles raged all around them. Huge Hollows shook the ground with their steps as wave after wave of shinigami leaped into the fray; here and there flashes of blue and red flickered in the sea of black and white, as even the students at the Academy were drawn into the fight for the very survival of the Soul Society._

_"_Ikorose, Shinsou!_"_

_"Aughhh!"_

CLANG!

_"Ooh, ya blocked it, tha's real good." Ichimaru Gin's slick drawl grated on Ichigo's ears. With a brutal twist, Ichigo sent the traitor's blade spinning off to the side. _

_"Shut up and fight. I don't have time for smartass remarks." Ichigo leaped and swung a two-handed blow at the smirking ex-captain. He was already exhausted from a full day of fighting, but he found new strength in his determination to carve that expression right off the bastard's face._

_Ichimaru dodged easily. "Maa, ya need ta do better'n that!" A casual flick of his wrist sent Shinsou flying out again, skewering a small shinigami in a student uniform through the neck before whipping back to face Ichigo._

_Ichigo snarled. His eyes burned with white-hot resolve as he swept Zangetsu down. "_Getsuga Ten_—"_

_"_Way of Binding Number One – Sai!_"_

_Ichigo fell with a curse. He struggled desperately – he'd broken this kidou before, but this one was crushing his chest, and his energy levels were so low and there was no time… _

_Ichimaru's grin was malicious as Shinsou shot directly toward Ichigo's furious eyes._

_A sharp breeze whispered across Ichigo's face a fraction of a second before he registered the flash of black and red that appeared in front of him. He heard the crack as Ichimaru's blade lodged itself in one of Renji's ribs._

_"Just returnin' the favour. I owed ya one for yesterday." Renji tossed a pained grin over his shoulder at the comrade struggling behind the shield of his back. His uniform was little more than tattered, bloody shreds, and stray hairs were falling out of the spiky tail that was equally streaked with blood. Both arms hung broken at his sides, next to the empty scabbard at his waist – pieces of Zabimaru littered the battlefield thirty meters away._

_"Ren-ji…" Ichigo croaked, unable to breathe around the binding kidou. The only reason Renji's head was still attached to his body was because Ichigo had been there yesterday to deflect the nearly lethal strike of an arrancar minion._

_"Oops, I seem ta be stuck on somethin'." Ichimaru twisted his blade; Renji choked. "Abarai-kun, that sure seems ta hurt, yah? Maybe ya should leggo an' let us finish up. I'll get ta ya next, don' worry." _

_Bright red blood splattered defiantly across the front of Ichimaru's robes._

_Renji spat another mouthful of blood on the ground. "_Higa Zekkou!_" he rasped._

_"Eh?" The ex-captain flinched as several of the glowing shards pierced him, but the oily smile was quickly back in place, if a little strained. "Ohh, too bad, still ain't good 'nuff!"_

"Unare, Haineko!"

"Dai Guren Hyourinmaru!"

_"Wha's this now? Y'all wanna play, too?" With a vicious jerk, Ichimaru retracted his blade; Renji crumpled to the ground beside the weakly breathing Ichigo._

_"Playtime is _over_, Ichimaru." Hitsugaya's voice was cold fury, matching the glittering wings behind him._

_"Ahh, yer so stuffy, Hitsugaya-taichou. Yer lieutenant knows how ta have a li'l fun, dontcha Rangiku?"_

_"This ends, now, Gin." Her voice carried deep pain and regret, but remained firm. Matsumoto knelt briefly; her muttered incantation broke the binding on Ichigo's chest. _

_Three forms shot into the air at the same time._

_Ichigo gasped, sucking in air desperately as he and Renji stared up at the fight above their heads._

_"You… ok?" Renji's voice was barely a whisper._

_"Don't talk… know he got… your lung." Ichigo rolled over and tried to apply pressure on the hissing wound in Renji's chest, but he had no strength left. He settled for placing his hands over the gaping hole and pushing them down by laying his own body on top of them. "I see… Hanatarou comin'… hang on."_

_"Take more'n… that weasel… t' finish me." Dark eyes blinked rapidly at the sky. "They... get him yet?"_

_Ichigo looked up. The movements of the three combatants were almost too quick to follow. His eyesight blurred as the blood rushed in his head; he heard the thin whistle of Shinsou… then a whisper of sand over silk, followed by a cry of surprise and pain. _

_"_Ryuusenka!_" __Hyourinmaru roared toward Ichimaru. The cone of arctic death engulfed the ex-captain. _

_Ichimaru's scream was cut short as he was encased in a tomb of ice. All was still for a second, save for the crackling sound of the icy prison solidifying. _

_Then it exploded. Frosted shards flew in every direction._

_"Yep." Ichigo made a face as bits of frozen flesh rained down over them. "Eurgh, gross."_

_"Good." Renji coughed._

_"Abarai-san! Ichigo-san!" Hanatarou's excited voice carried across the battlefield as he fell to his knees before the badly injured shinigami…_

§

Renji inched his way down the roof and stepped lightly on the windowsill. He didn't think he had a hope of sneaking up on Ichigo this time, despite having his reiatsu locked down as tightly as he could. Ichigo knew him too well – he'd be able to feel the imbalance in his energy immediately.

When he crept into the flat, however, Ichigo was still sound asleep. That should have brightened Renji's mood, but instead it made him wonder. He concentrated a moment, and felt the faint distress in Ichigo's reiatsu.

_Huh. Not a nightmare, but not a great dream, either._ He noticed the paper on the floor next to the bed, and recognized it as the last letter he had sent from Soul Society only days before. A tiny trickle of warmth began threading its way through him.

Renji relaxed his controls, letting his reiatsu extend and mesh with the thin tendrils of energy already winding their way toward him from Ichigo. That made him smile a little – whenever they got in range of each other, their reiatsu wanted to reach out and blend together. It had taken a bit of practice to learn to control this phenomenon and confine it to appropriate moments. This definitely qualified as appropriate.

Ichigo's distress lessened immediately, and Renji felt the warmth grow and spread through him, softening the cold, hard spot that had been pressing on his chest since earlier that day.

But he didn't want to think about that right now. Renji shed his clothes quickly and slid into the bed next to his lover. The aura of safety and calm that enveloped them was just what they both seemed to need, and Renji was pleasantly surprised to find himself slipping into a relaxed sleep, despite the horrors of the day.

§

_"He's going to be fine," the 4th Division lieutenant assured them. Ichigo and Rukia let out twin sighs of relief as she continued._

_ "The blade missed the heart, and Hanatarou healed most of the damage." Isane's voice faltered. "Abarai-fukutaichou was one of the lucky ones."_

_Sorrow welled up beneath the relief. Ichigo didn't think he could handle losing any more friends in this war…_

Ichigo twitched in his sleep. Calm settled over him as the memory of loss drifted away and was replaced by something warmer.

_"Guess I'd better go. Gotta return this gigai." Renji had packed up his research notes and stood looking around the small flat one last time. It was going to be strange without Renji around, after an entire summer spent in each others' company._

_"You can't leave yet," Ichigo caught Renji's wrist and tugged him to stand in front of where Ichigo was sitting on the bed._

_"They're expecting me in—nngh…" Renji groaned as Ichigo swiftly bypassed the clothing barrier. With his hands and mouth, Ichigo traced the flesh that was becoming as familiar to him as his own._

_"I'll make it quick, then," Ichigo mumbled, looking up and winking. Renji could only offer a moan and a slight nod, eyes half-lidded and jaw slack. He buried his hands in Ichigo's short hair, wavering slightly on his feet. Ichigo focused solely on the task of bringing his lover to a hard, fast release, and he was not disappointed; in no time at all the hands gripping his head tightened as Renji's entire body stiffened, Ichigo's name tumbling desperately from his lips._

_Ichigo very deliberately licked his lips and grinned at the dazed shinigami swaying before him._

_"Four weeks is gonna seem like forever!" Renji grumbled. He pulled Ichigo to his feet and wrapped his arms around him. Ichigo was a bit surprised, but entirely happy to return the gesture. They'd never actually _hugged_ before; they'd grappled and wrestled, yes, and they held each other frequently in bed, but never a simple hug. It might have been awkward, but somehow it wasn't._

_Ichigo held back a sigh as they broke apart. "Guess it really is time to go now." _

_"Come with me?" Renji asked. Ichigo nodded wordlessly._

_They reached Urahara's all too soon, reluctantly pulling in their energies before they entered the shop; it was a shock after so long always having at least a light link between them. The gigai was returned without ceremony, and Urahara led them to the basement to open the gate._

_Ichigo looked around, remembering the dozens of training sessions over the summer. The laughter, the camaraderie, and, during the final weeks, the subtle edge of something more._

_Ichigo lifted his hand in farewell._

_"See ya." Renji turned toward the portal, then stopped._

_"Dammit." He spun and took the two steps back. Seizing Ichigo's face in his hands, Renji kissed him fiercely. Their reiatsu melded and flashed all around them as they stood locked together for a moment._

_Renji pulled back. "There's no one for me but you," he stared into Ichigo's eyes intently. "I ain't gonna… I won't—"_

_"I know, me either. Just you." Ichigo forced his hands to let go of robes he'd grabbed in their embrace._

_Ichigo felt the half-smile on his face matching the one on Renji's; then their connection was broken and Renji was through the gate, and Ichigo was left standing alone._

_A discrete cough reminded Ichigo that Urahara was still there. He turned to face the older shinigami, prepared to defend against a snide remark, but the wistful expression Urahara wore softened Ichigo's glare._

_"It won't be easy, Kurosaki-kun," Urahara said. "But nothing worth having ever is, is it?"_

_Ichigo nodded, not trusting himself to speak around the lump in his throat. He recognized the old pain in the other's words, and knew it would soon be his own to live and deal with._

_But it wouldn't be quite so bad. Ichigo thought about it as he walked home. He wasn't barred from Soul Society, and travel between the worlds was easier, especially for war heroes who chose to leverage their privileges. Which they most certainly would._

_It would be lonely sometimes, but they'd both be very busy in between visits, which would help somewhat. And Ichigo had an entire summer of memories to hang on to – and because many of them were made in his flat, he'd be surrounded by them every day. The thought made him smile._

_As he stepped into his empty flat, he was pleased that he could still feel the warmth of their combined reiatsu…_

_But that wasn't right… Renji had already left…_

Ichigo half-woke at the odd turn the dream had taken. He became aware of the heat wrapped around his back and the warm, familiar body pressed against him. Now fully alert, he concentrated quickly. His startled senses confirmed Renji's solid, comforting presence beside him.

Renji stirred as Ichigo turned in his arms. "Mmhh?"

A wave of surprise and delight overwhelmed Ichigo completely; he threw his arms around Renji and held him tightly.

"Wha…?"

"You're _here._" The words were mumbled against Renji's neck.

"Got leave. Had t' see ya."

The exhaustion and relief in Renji's tonemade Ichigo pull back to look him in the eyes. What Ichigo saw there worried him. He concentrated again, and felt the unhappiness threaded through Renji's energy.

"What happened? Why're you on leave?"

Renji sighed, and pulled Ichigo into a closer embrace. He rested his chin on Ichigo's shoulder as he began his explanation.

"We had another attack this mornin'. Bad one." Renji paused for a moment. Ichigo felt the ripple in his energy, but knew better than to interrupt; he simply let his reiatsu swell and bolster the shinigami.

"This time it was in the 78th, so we got sent out. Ya remember we're from there. Was a long time ago, but we still remember."

"It was awful." Renji tightened his arms around Ichigo. "Another pair a' fire-breathers." Ichigo tried to smooth out the energy spike that accompanied this news, but it was difficult given their previous experience with fire-breathing Hollows in Rukongai.

"Everythin' was _gone_. Charred. Smelled like… well I don't gotta tell ya." Ichigo nodded against Renji's shoulder. "Place was a hole, but it was our home then, yanno? Rukia took it pretty bad, too. Unohana-taichou insisted we take two days t' 'rest an' recharge' before goin' on another mission. Rukia's stayin' with Kuchiki-taichou so one a' us is around t' stay in touch with the Division."

Ichigo didn't miss the implication that Rukia had offered Renji the chance to take his leave in the living world to see him. He squeezed Renji's shoulder and made a mental note to thank Rukia the next time he saw her.

"So I got two days, startin' in the mornin'." Renji's energy was steadier now, and he released Ichigo from the crushing embrace to lean their foreheads together. "Not a lot a' time but I needed t' come home t' see ya."

"I'm glad you did." Ichigo didn't like the idea of his friends needing what amounted to a mental health leave, but he couldn't help but be grateful for the unexpected visit. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against his lover's. "Welcome home."

Their combined energies swirled around them, smoothing away the raw, spiky edges and settling into a more balanced pattern. They were both much comforted by the presence of the other, and soon slipped back into a peaceful sleep wrapped in each others' arms.

§

**Omake**  
_Chapter 1 omake_

Akuni: Welcome back! We are pleased to once again present some omake for our story. There will be some special guests this time around, so stay tuned!

Renji: Yo!

Ichigo: At least I still have my clothes on this time.

Akuni: mutters Not for long…

Ichigo: What was that?

Akuni: Oh nothing!

Renji: snickers Sweet.

ApotheosisChapter 1 - Resurgence7 of 7


	2. Chapter 2 Appreciation

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 60,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Appreciation**

When Ichigo awoke in the morning, he could feel that Renji's distress had lessened considerably. They had two days, and he knew they would make the most of them. By sheer good luck, there was nothing happening in those two days that he couldn't postpone in order to take full advantage of his lover's unanticipated presence.

Ichigo attempted to get out of bed without waking Renji, but the shinigami was alert as soon as Ichigo's weight left the mattress.

"Goin' somewhere?" Renji cracked one eye open, lips twitching upward in a half-grin.

Ichigo chuckled. Being as tightly bonded as they were meant it was nearly impossible to sneak up on or away from each other. The only reason Renji had managed to slip into bed without waking Ichigo was because of the dream Ichigo had been having. It was always worth a try, though, and they were both highly amused by Renji's attempts at stealthy entrances.

In response, Ichigo snagged Renji's hand and hauled him out of the blankets. This tradition required no further explanation as they headed for the shower.

Renji pressed himself against Ichigo's back as the hot water splashed over them, the dim light from the single bulb covering them in deep shadows. He leaned his head down on Ichigo's shoulder and held him tightly. Ichigo could sense the last of Renji's distress fading as he clutched Ichigo to him.

After several long minutes, Renji loosened his grip a little and lifted his lips to Ichigo's neck. He began slowly kissing his way across Ichigo's shoulder as Ichigo stretched his arms back and ran his hands over every part of his lover he could reach. Ichigo turned his face to press briefly against Renji's, flicking his tongue over his lover's lips to catch the droplets of water. The aura around them shifted subtly; one of Renji's hands trailed up Ichigo's chest, the other sliding across his hips to stroke him. Renji's touch was familiar and firm, and in a very short time he brought Ichigo to his release.

Ichigo's euphoria washed through their reiatsu, but it was eclipsed by the surge of excitement from Renji. He didn't relinquish his hold, simply turning Ichigo in his arms to bring their mouths together for a searing kiss before working his way farther down. Gentle teeth nipped lightly at one small nipple, warm hands sliding down to grip his backside.

He continued moving his hands and lips down over Ichigo's body, which soon began to respond again. When Renji got down on his knees, Ichigo braced himself against his lover and prepared for a wild morning.

The few times Renji had come home to Ichigo upset over something, they'd discovered that a recently distressed Renji was an exceptionally eager to please Renji. Renji himself realized it was some kind of reaffirmation as well as a relief from the nervous tension, and they were both happy to let him work out his excess energy on Ichigo's willing body. It wasn't all that surprising, and Ichigo knew he'd be the same way if he had to deal with major traumas on a regular basis.

Smooth lips and tongue were accompanied by strong hands and fingers stroking, massaging, cupping… pushing inside to find with practiced ease that spot that sent a blinding flash through his entire body. Ichigo's knees trembled as his body stiffened in anticipation. His fingers dug into Renji's shoulders, earning him a pleased rumble that sent a shock through Ichigo's groin. The soft heat was welcoming and eager, and he fought against the urge to thrust as his senses were once again drowned in pleasure. Ichigo could _feel_ the sounds Renji made deep in his throat as his own cry echoed in the small room.

Renji was already back on his feet before Ichigo had even caught his breath. This time he definitely needed the support of Renji's arms around him; Ichigo laid his head against a warm, wet shoulder as his legs wobbled. Once again the feeling of Ichigo's pleasure in their energy was accompanied by an even more intense feeling of anticipation and eager desire emanating from Renji.

Still holding the panting Ichigo upright, Renji turned them around so Ichigo was directly under the now lukewarm spray. "Love watchin' that." Renji's voice was heavy with passion. A spicy scent filled the air as he ran soapy, water-softened hands over his lover, each cleansing touch a caress.

Ichigo raised his head to brush his lips across Renji's neck and jaw, detouring briefly to suck at the sensitive earlobe. He muffled Renji's drawn-out groan as he fastened their mouths together, tongues twining. Ichigo tasted himself on his lover's tongue, mingled with that unique taste that belonged solely to Renji, and it started another ripple of desire trickling down through him. He reached for his target blindly; his hands moved confidently over his lover's arousal, drawing another low groan and a shiver from the shinigami.

"You're just what I needed."

"Then what're you waiting for?"

Ichigo gripped Renji's shoulders as he was lifted and pinned against the wall of the small cubicle. Ichigo raised one knee to rest on his lover's hip as Renji leaned in to nip at his neck, tongue tickling the wet skin he sucked into his mouth with each bite.

Then the water raining down went cold, shocking the breath from them both. Renji swore as he lost his grip; Ichigo slid several inches down the wall before his foot found purchase as Renji spun and slammed off the icy water.

They looked at each other a moment, breathing hard. Ichigo didn't fight the smirk that tugged his lips; Renji snickered.

"Pass me a towel, we'll continue this out there," Renji murmured, pressing his lips against Ichigo's briefly. He took his time rubbing the soft material over Ichigo's body, a process that wouldn't have been quite so involved had Ichigo not decided to continue with his mouth what his hands had only just begun. The mutual desire in their combined energies was intoxicating, and soon they were both trembling with the need for release.

"I think…" Renji panted, "…we should get t' the bed. Right now." He hauled Ichigo into another clinch and steered them to the other room.

Renji sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Ichigo down onto his lap, bringing their lips together as Ichigo lowered himself. Renji gripped his lover's hips, moaning deeply into Ichigo's mouth as the soft flesh parted and heat enveloped him. Bracing himself on Renji's shoulders, Ichigo moved slowly, savouring the feel of his lover inside him.

"Damn ya feel good like this." Renji spoke his desires freely in bed, something Ichigo enjoyed hearing immensely, though he was less inclined to do it himself.

They'd tried many different ways, of course, but they almost always began and ended their visits face to face. They both liked to watch the play of emotions on the other's face, and they'd discovered that they found eye contact during sex intensely erotic. The intensity of their encounters helped get them through the long weeks in between visits.

"Unnhh… Renji…" There were no words for how it felt to be so fulfilled; Ichigo could only repeat his lover's name in time with each thrust as Renji met him halfway. The energy between them thrummed, sharp tension quivering on the edge.

"Can't take any more..." Renji gasped. "Ichigo…" His fingers dug into Ichigo's hips as he flipped Ichigo down onto his back. "Need t' feel you movin' under me," he growled softly, his breath ragged and warm, brushing over Ichigo's cheek as he took up a swift pace. Ichigo ran his hands down Renji's back, meeting the intense gaze in the dark eyes as they moved as one and fell into ecstasy together. The fire sizzled through their bond, heightening the sensations and pulling louder cries of pleasure from them both before their bodies grew slack.

Renji sprawled on top of him, breathing hard against his neck. Ichigo held him tightly, pressing his face against the tattooed shoulder, feeling their thudding heartbeats gradually slow. They slipped into a light doze for a short while, but it didn't last long as they'd slept contentedly together the night before.

When he roused from the nap, Ichigo was pleased to sense that while his lover's energy levels were still elevated, they were far closer to normal than before. Once again he was grateful for Renji's ability to bounce back from almost anything. He tightened his arms when Renji attempted to shift himself over.

"Should let ya get up now… I'm sure ya got things ya need t' do today."

"Hmm, you're right, I do." Ichigo grabbed Renji more firmly and rolled them over so he was positioned between the shinigami's legs.

"What about your—"

"There's no more hot water," Ichigo reminded him with a smirk. "I'm not interested in a cold shower just now, are you?" He bent his arms and grinned suggestively down at his lover, whose own trademark grin and pulsing aura were answer enough as they began all over again.

§

Later – much later – after they'd finally managed to shower properly and dress, Renji filled Ichigo in on the situation in Soul Society.

"They still don't know what's goin' on," he said, referring to Soul Society's Research and Development Institute. "Nothin' like this's ever happened before. Hollows were just Hollows, some bigger'n others. But now, they're… even the smallest ones got these weird abilities, an' they're stronger'n they should be. Takes three times as much t' kill 'em now."

Ichigo looked at him thoughtfully. "How much of this did Aizen do?"

Renji grimaced. "A lot, looks like. Hueco Mundo's changed… it's _different_ than it used t' be, an' too much a' the weird crap comin' outta there's got his signature all over it."

"And they just keep coming." Ichigo's brow furrowed; Renji could almost hear him adding up just how many serious attacks there'd been over the past several months.

"They dunno how they were made, or why, or how many of 'em there are. All anyone knows is how t' kill 'em. An' that just ain't enough." Renji frowned. "We can't go on like this much longer, we're still under strength. I shouldn't be here right now, but Unohana-taichou insisted we'd be better off takin' the break instead a' tryin' t' keep on. Know she's right, an' I'm glad t' have the chance t' see ya, but…"

"I know."

Renji knew he didn't really have to explain, but he was grateful that Ichigo let him anyway. He was certain Ichigo understood all too well the drive to fight, to protect, to help do _something_ in a crisis. Most shinigami felt the same double edge of guilt and relief when they were forced to step back during a crisis.

"Ya already know all this, why'm I goin' on about it?" he grumbled.

Ichigo shrugged and smiled. "Just lettin' you talk. And listening to you helps me think."

"Well I've had enough a' talkin' 'bout work. If I'm on leave, then I'm on leave. Time t' have some fun – who's in town tonight?"

"Everyone. You have unbelievable luck, yanno that?" Ichigo shook his head. "Chad's off tonight, and Ishida just got back from some Quincy thing in the mountains. Inoue volunteers at the children's hospital some nights, but she'd definitely free up a few hours, and..."

Renji listened with growing approval as Ichigo rattled off the friendly names. "Sounds like a party, then!" he said cheerfully.

§

Late afternoon on the second day of Renji's leave found them back at the flat, settling down to enjoy their last evening together alone. Ichigo sat on his bed reading reports from Soul Society while Renji sat on the floor, leaning against Ichigo's left leg while he meditated quietly.

The reports were disturbing. Every patrol that ventured into Hueco Mundo came back with new information, but they were still missing too many vital pieces to solve the puzzle.

Renji shifted slightly, the ends of his hair tickling Ichigo's arm. Absently Ichigo twisted the vibrant strands around his fingers. He was still fascinated with Renji's hair. No matter how many times he'd held it in his hands and felt it sliding over his body, Ichigo was still as entranced as a kitten with a ball of yarn.

"Quit that!" Renji twitched his head, tugging his hair out of Ichigo's grasp. He didn't move, however, and the spiky red tips continued to brush against Ichigo's wrist.

Ichigo knew he didn't mean a word of it – Renji would sit to have his hair played with for hours. He smirked as he ran his fingers through the silky tail again.

"Ichigo…" Renji growled, but Ichigo saw his lips twitching upward and felt the stirring in their energies.

Ichigo leaned down and nibbled on one particularly long lock of hair.

"That's it!" A hand closed on Ichigo's wrist; another trapped his leg as Renji launched himself off the floor. Ichigo found himself pinned solidly to the bed, one arm held over his head, his knee riding high over Renji's hip, held in place by a firm hand on his thigh as Renji grinned down at him.

"So ya like my hair, huh?" The low, rumbling murmur sent a familiar tingle from his gut to his groin.

Ichigo reached with his free hand to snap the tie that held back the crimson strands, watching it spill down and cover their faces in a curtain.

"Oh yeah." Ichigo leaned up and captured the grinning lips with his own before twisting his leg around Renji's and heaving the shinigami over on his side.

The conclusion of the wrestling match that followed was inevitable. Ichigo didn't get to finish reading the reports until much, much later.

§

Two days were over in no time at all. Saying goodbye was never easy, but Ichigo's summer break started in less than four weeks, and they'd be spending the entire two months together in Soul Society.

Every time he stepped through the portal to Soul Society, Renji found himself remembering the events had that occurred the first time he returned after completing the mission that had led to his startling involvement with Ichigo. He wondered what was waiting for him this time; he hoped it was quieter…

§_  
_

_-8 months ago-_

Renji chose to return to a more remote location in Soul Society; he'd asked Urahara to set the portal several kilometres from Seireitei. He needed time to gather his thoughts and make some mental adjustments before taking up his normal routine again – a routine that had to change to accommodate his having a lover in the living world.

When the gate closed behind him, he headed for Seireitei, his attention not on his surroundings but rather on the touching farewell scene that was replaying itself in his mind.

"Welcome home!"

Renji jumped, startled by the cheerful voice. "Dammit Rukia, don't sneak up on a person like that!" _Welcome home, huh? Feels more like I just left home._

"Sneak up? I've been following you for the past five minutes," Rukia laughed, her eyes dancing as she stretched up as far as she could to give him a brief hug.

He stared. _How'd I miss that? She wasn't even shieldin'. We've been family most our lives, an' I can pick out her reiatsu easily after all these years._

"Not even going to deny it?"

"Che. Not worth arguin' with ya." Renji ruffled her hair for revenge.

"Gah, don't do that!"

"Try'n stop me, brat." He grinned at his childhood friend when she stuck her tongue out at him.

"You're in an awfully weird mood. What has you so distracted that you didn't notice me? I wasn't even trying to hide – you walked right past me, you know." Rukia's voice was light and teasing.

Renji looked away as the memory flashed through his mind again. "Nothin'. Just thinkin' 'bout the mission."

"Renji?" Concern lowered her tone. "Is everything ok? Did something happen with Ichigo?"

"Ya might say that." _We planned for me t' tell her, a' course, just wasn't expectin' it t' be the very second I got here._ He motioned for her to sit down in the soft grass at the side of the road.

Rukia made herself comfortable as he settled beside her. "So tell me. What's going on that's got you all undone?"

"Uh…"

She waited expectantly, eyes fixed on his face.

_This's harder'n I thought it'd be._

"Me 'n Ichigo… we got t' be pretty close over the summer," Renji explained.

"Eh?"

"We kinda have an understandin'," he tried again.

Her brow furrowed. "An understanding?"

_Well shit, Rukia, the kind where ya spend a lot a' time naked in bed together. How do I say this without soundin' stupid?_

"Eh… we, uh…" he cleared his throat. "We feel…" Inspiration struck. He relaxed the controls on his reiatsu. "Like this." He sat quietly, looking at her earnestly and letting her feel his aura as he remembered the warmth of the bond he shared with Ichigo.

"Oh?" Rukia's eyes widened as she finally grasped his meaning. "Oh!"

"Um… yeah, heh." He fiddled nervously with his bandana as she processed the revelation.

"Oh _really..."_ Her expression grew sly, her mouth twitching with suppressed laughter.

He tried to scowl at her, but the effect was spoiled by the flush spreading across his features. "What?"

"You're cute when you're embarrassed."

"Not embarrassed!" He refused to acknowledge the tingle in his cheeks as he focused on the blade of grass he twisted in his fingers.

"Ok, you're not embarrassed, you just always look like a tomato. Probably the hair, right?" She pushed his shoulder playfully.

"I ain't embarrassed or ashamed or anythin' at all like that! It's just… dammit this's _personal_, Rukia. Ya know I ain't good talkin' 'bout this stuff."

"Hey, listen…" She nudged him until he looked up at her. Rukia's eyes sparkled as she smiled. "I'm happy for you both."

Renji smiled back. "Thanks." He hauled her to her feet as he stood to continue on his way. They walked in silence for a while. Now that the awkward conversation was over, he was glad to have had it, and relieved that she was noble enough not to tease him any further on the subject.

"So you're not embarrassed, ok. But you're cute when you're in love," she grinned up at him.

"_Rukia!_"

"Well aren't you?"

"Shut up… Yes. Now shaddap."

Rukia reached out and squeezed his arm reassuringly, offering her support without words. Then she stifled a giggle.

Renji groaned good-naturedly. _With friends like this…_

§

When Renji entered his quarters that evening, he noticed that the place had been cleaned before his arrival; there wasn't any dust, and the air smelled fresh.

In the centre of his table sat a small box with a note pinned on the top.

_Welcome home! _

_Drinks tonight, Kira's place, 6 o'clock._

_Shuuhei_

_P.S. Happy belated birthday!_

He mulled that over as he worked to open the box. _There's that 'welcome home' again. Home's where your heart is, an' mine sure ain't here…_

Inside the box was a bandana. He appreciated the gesture, but it was puzzling.

_Well this's different. With these guys, birthdays mean they'll buy your drinks an' get ya home safe in time t' sleep it off for your next shift._

He lifted the cloth out of the box. It was an ordinary white bandana, with… Tattooed eyebrows shot up as he unfolded it.

With leafy strawberries embroidered all over it.

_So they think they're bein' clever, huh? Hehe, we'll just see 'bout that._

Renji shook his hair out of its spiky tail and twisted it into a long braid before wrapping the bandana around his head. He dug out his loudest, most eye-wrenching yukata to complete the outfit, pausing only long enough to smirk at his reflection before heading out.

§

He heard the noise of the party from two streets over. He chuckled to himself – perfect, they were already halfway drunk. Pausing outside, he settled his plan before opening the door.

Renji pulled on his best grin and _strutted_ proudly across the room.

"Hey guys!" He threw a jaunty wave to the knot of shinigami clustered around a large pile of empty bottles on the table in the middle of the room.

He took his time adjusting his strawberry-patterned bandana as he took his seat between Shuuhei and Ikkaku. "Thanks, by the way. Fits great."

Shuuhei grinned and handed him a beer.

"Ya didn't expect ta get off with just th' note, didja?" Ikkaku punched his shoulder.

Renji nearly spilled his drink. "Watch it!"

"He's already drunk, Abarai-kun, don't mind him." Yumichika pushed a finger against his friend's shoulder; Ikkaku swayed. "See?"

"Welcome back, Abarai-kun!" Kira smiled.

"Kira, how's it goin'?"

Kira's smile slipped a little. "More or less the same."

Renji sighed. "Sorry t' hear that. I keep hopin'…"

Kira waved it off. "It's no better, but it's no worse. Better no progress than moving backward."

"But Kira-kun is forgetting to mention how difficult it is to endure the situation, even if it isn't getting worse," Yumichika added.

"Hey no work talk tonight, guys. This is a party!" Shuuhei was adamant.

"Yes, please," Kira agreed. He moved to clear the empty bottles off the table. "When does Iba's shift end? We're out of sake and he's supposed to get more on his way." He replaced the bottles with a tray of beer.

"Damn, I don't want another beer." Shuuhei peered at the tray.

"I do." Renji snagged a mug from under Shuuhei's nose. "Yanno in the living world they got these things on the street full a' whatever ya want. Just put your money in an' press a button an' ya got it."

"Whatever I want?"

"Just 'bout, least that's what Ichigo says. Hot sake, cold sake, food, even clothes."

"Damn, we need that here!" Ikkaku exclaimed.

"Yeah, it's convenient for sure." Renji deliberately downplayed it; there was no way he was ever letting them find out his initial reaction to the things – snatching the money Ichigo offered and feeding it eagerly into the machine while Ichigo laughed. "Me'n Ichigo ate dinner outta those machines a lotta times."

"Convenient? Hell, tha's amazin'!"

"Sounds more than convenient," Shuuhei agreed. "I wouldn't have to wait for Iba to get here to have that sake." He peered around hopefully. "Oh hey..."

Ikkaku was quicker. "Hah, last one's mine!" He snatched the last sake bottle that had rolled under the table.

"We could share, yanno." Renji elbowed him.

"Sorry Renji, we all know I ain't Ichigo's type!" Ikkaku chortled.

Kira's eyes were wide as he made the connection in the silence that followed – clearly he hadn't been made aware of the relationship that was suddenly spread out in the open. Renji appreciated that, and decided to forgive the crude slip.

The corner of his mouth twitched up in a lopsided grin and he shrugged one shoulder in response to his blonde friend's stare; Kira offered a stunned smile and a firm nod in return.

"Ikkaku!" Shuuhei reached behind Renji to slug Ikkaku in the ribs at the same time as Yumichika slapped him on the head from the other side.

"_You_ ain't _anyone's_ type. With that fuckin' glare off the top the only thing ya attract are crows," Renji drawled lazily, drawing the long red braid over his shoulder pointedly. He'd timed it just as the bald shinigami had begun gulping greedily at his stolen sake.

Ikkaku choked; Shuuhei and Kira dissolved into laugher, slapping the table as tears formed in their eyes. Yumichika had to pound on Ikkaku's back for a solid minute, laughing the entire time, before Ikkaku stopped wheezing.

Renji put all he had into his smirk. "Ya done bein' a jackass 'bout my private life, Ikkaku? 'Cause if ya wanna play some more, I got all night t' take ya down. You g'head and get it all outta your system now, 'cause if ya try'n pull that on Ichigo he'll kick your ass from here t' next week – just like the last time ya pissed him off, remember?" He leaned back and took another long drink as the laughter swelled again.

§_  
_

_-present-_

Ichigo slumped in his chair. It had taken a great deal of effort, but he'd managed to cram a month of school work and early exams into two short weeks. Convincing his professors that he needed to deal with a family crisis without offering any solid proof had been easy by comparison.

First he was going to shower and take a nap. Then he was going to pack up the gift he'd gotten for Rukia, as thanks for her part in helping Renji take his sudden leave in the living world.

And then, finally, he was going to join his comrades fighting in Soul Society for the next ten weeks.

§

**Omake**  
_Chapter 2 omake_

Ichigo: Aaannd I'm naked again already.

Renji: Well yeah, how else'm I supposed t' sex you up?

Ichigo: You're a fiend, yanno that? I lost count of how many times you—

Renji: 'Scuse me, but I seem t' remember ya did plenty a' that yourself. Ya ain't the only one with a sore—

Akuni: ahem

Renji: Che. Dunno why you're complainin'. Was fuckin' _amazin'_, just like she promised! tosses a salute to Akuni

Ichigo: Whoa, not complaining _at all_, just sayin' you're insatiable.

Renji: Well can ya blame me? You're just too damn sexy.

Ichigo: Back atcha. grins

Renji: 'Cept when ya start chewin' my hair.

Ichigo: Ehh? nibbles at Renji's ponytail

Renji: Dammit Ichigo, you're gonna gimme split ends!

Akuni: And that's all the time we have for today folks! stage whisper No more fanart for you two!

Sekra: rubs her hands together gleefully

**A/N:** The hair scene and this omake is dedicated to my pal Sekra, for all her wonderful Renjigo crack art. The pic in question can be found on her dA gallery. I have it up on my wall at work. While you're there, check out all her other great stuff!\

**_Art_**

Yes, we have art again! It's incredible how much we've both improved over the past few months.  
Go look at 'Shower' in Shelagh's dA gallery. Trust me, it's worth it.


	3. Chapter 3 Duty

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 60,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Duty **

Renji and Rukia were waiting for Ichigo when he entered Soul Society that evening.

"Ichigo, welcome back!" Rukia stretched on her toes to hug him. "Gimme!" she insisted playfully, stepping back and making grasping motions with her hands.

Ichigo laughed. "Say please."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Pleeaaase."

Ichigo dug in his knapsack. "Found volume eight. That's the one where—"

"Don't tell me, I want to read for myself!" Rukia snatched the manga out of his hands. "Thanks!"

"Gotcha somethin' else, too." He held out a small velvet bunny in a shinigami uniform. It had taken all his courage to ask Ishida to make it, but to his surprise the Quincy had realized immediately it was for Rukia, and had done it up in a blink without a single joke at Ichigo's expense.

Rukia squealed with delight. "Ooh, it's so cuuute!" she exclaimed. "Wherever did you find the outfit? It even has a tiny zanpakutou!"

"Ah, I asked Ishida to help," he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "Thanks for what ya did a couple weeks ago. Yanno, about the time off an' all."

"Oh... well I just wanted to help," Rukia smiled, still absorbed in her bunny. "It's got to be difficult sometimes…"

Ichigo looked up to find Renji grinning broadly at the pair of them. He smiled back, fighting the impulse to rush to his lover's side. They stood staring at each other silently for what seemed like hours.

"Well?" Rukia finally looked up from her gifts to stare at them. "What's wrong with you two?" she demanded.

"Er?"

"Eh?"

"You haven't seen each other in weeks. You could at least hug or _something_." Her eyes danced mischievously.

"Oh." Ichigo blinked.

Renji rolled his eyes before moving to embrace him briefly, their energies linking lightly. "She's such a pain sometimes, yanno?" he commented loudly as they headed toward the Division offices. Rukia was walking a pace ahead, nose buried in her book.

"Tell me about it. She lived in my closet for _months_, remember." Ichigo winked at Renji, directing his overemphasized remark to the petite shinigami's back.

"Yeah well I've been stuck with her every day for _years_, an' no end in—_ow!_ Dammit Rukia, no fair pinching!"

Ichigo snickered. "_Ow!_ Hey, he started it…"

§

Ichigo's first night in Soul Society was marked by an impromptu gathering of friends and comrades in the 5th Division headquarters. Almost everyone he knew in Seireitei showed up at some point; shinigami he only knew by sight went out of their way to welcome him and express their thanks once again for his assistance in the war nearly four years ago. Every time he visited, there were at least a few shinigami who felt the need to go through the little ritual of thanks.

That was the last day they had for over a week without an alert. Ichigo was rather hastily attached to the 3rd Division in order to bolster their ranks, something the still weakened Division needed badly. They were so busy, Ichigo barely noticed the days passing by until Rukia wished him a happy birthday. There was no time to stop and take advantage of the excuse to celebrate until the attacks subsided several days later.

§

Ichigo wound up playing host to their friends, though so far only Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Iba had shown up; Renji, Shuuhei, and Kira were tied up in a captains' meeting, and Rukia and Matsumoto had been hauled off by Yachiru for a gathering of the Shinigami Women's Association.

"They _ever_ gonna get here? Renji's supposed t' be hostin' this damn party!" Ikkaku waved from the floor, indicating the small gathering.

"He's on his way," Ichigo noted absently as he poured another round. "The meeting ran long."

"If ya say so," Ikkaku said equably.

Ichigo blinked at him. "You can't be that drunk already! You can't feel it?"

"Uh, no? Ain't got th' same kinda connection, yanno. Ya got more range'n me, least where it comes t' Renji. Emotions, or some shit – forget how it works, exactly. 4th knows, ask 'em sometime."

"Oh. So… the stronger you feel about someone…?" Ichigo was pleased that he could have this conversation now without feeling uncomfortable. He was getting used to Ikkaku's casual disregard for propriety – and his inability to pass up the opportunity to crack a joke, even at his own expense.

The bald shinigami sat up with a laugh. "Ya really need t' learn 'bout this stuff, Ichigo. All these years an' ya still don't know _nothin'!_"

"Hah, I don't do so bad for someone who didn't go to shinigami school or whatever," Ichigo grinned. "Kicked your ass, didn't I?"

Iba snorted. "'Gotcha there."

Yumichika tossed his head. "At least he's aware, Ikkaku. You're about as sensitive as a block of lead if you can't even sense the captain-level reiatsu headed in this direction." He frowned. "Shuuhei is very tired… you're right, Ichigo. I don't think the meeting went well."

When the shinigami in question arrived, they _were_ tired but eager to join the party.

"I'm totally beat," Renji sighed as he threw his cloak on a chair and flopped down beside Ichigo, their reiatsu already linking subtly. "They talk an' talk an' _talk!_" Shuuhei nodded as he helped himself to a drink.

"Think of all those students who look up and are inspired by the 'glamorous' life of a captain. I wonder if they'd be half so eager if they knew about all the meetings and paperwork," Kira chuckled.

Shuuhei snorted. "Glamorous? Right!"

"All that damn _paperwork!_" Renji groaned. "I _hate_ paperwork!"

There was a tap at the door before it opened again to admit Rukia. "Sorry I'm late. Rangiku-san sends her regrets." She pointed at Ichigo. "You owe her a meal for distracting Yachiru so I could finally get out of the meeting." Then she pointed at Renji. "And _you_ owe Nii-sama—"

"What! Why'm _I_ bein' dragged in ta this? What's _he_ got t' do with this?"

"She went with Yachiru to interview Nii-sama for the Shinigami Women's Association Newsletter."

Renji groaned. "Tea, right?" Rukia nodded. The other shinigami in the room groaned right along with him.

Renji looked at Ichigo gloomily. "All you gotta do is buy lunch for Matsumoto, and I hafta make _tea_ for Kuchiki-taichou. That's not even a li'l bit fair, you got _no_ idea..." His eyes brightened. "Tell ya what, Ichigo… _I'll_ buy her lunch – hell, I'll buy her lunch _an'_ yours – if ya help me with the tea."

Ichigo shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

The room went silent as everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"What?"

"You… you've never been to tea with Nii-sama, have you?"

"Er, no. We weren't exactly on good terms before, remember? That whole 'I won't let ya kill your sister' thing kept gettin' in the way. We're not exactly best buddies now, either, though he doesn't wanna kill me anymore." Ichigo scratched his head thoughtfully. "I don't think… Anyway, how bad can it be?"

"I'm going to be on a mission that day. Very long mission." Rukia nodded. "Far away. Maybe Karakura…" she smoothed the laughter out of her face. "But now, it's time for presents!"

"Presents? I don't need you guys to gimme presents."

"Don't be stupid, it's your birthday. Everyone gets presents on their birthday." She motioned to Kira. "You got it?"

"It's all done, Kuchiki-san," Kira smiled. Together they handed Ichigo a large envelope. "Happy birthday!" they chimed.

Ichigo opened it curiously. "Duty rosters?" He peered. "I understand havin' my schedule with the 3rd, but… Rukia, why do I have a copy of the 5th Division duty roster? For the next _two months?_"

"What? Lemme see that!" Renji made a grab for the papers Ichigo tilted towards him. Their heads collided as they bent to examine the schedules.

"Watch it, idiot!" Ichigo scowled.

"Fuck, your head is hard!" Renji rubbed the red spot on his forehead.

They bent again – carefully, this time – to look at the papers. It only took a few seconds for them to recognize the matching patterns of their days off.

"Ah…" Ichigo cleared his throat. "Thanks, both of you." Rukia beamed at him, her eyes sparkling.

"Thanks, Kira," Renji slapped his former school mate on the back. "An' _you_," Renji patted Rukia on the head playfully. "Since you're so good at doin' the roster, I guess ya got yourself a new job." She gaped at him. "Or ya could help with Kuchiki-taichou's tea," he grinned at her.

"My turn!" Yumichika presented his gift with a flourish.

Ichigo had enough presence of mind to very carefully undo the… he grinned mentally… the beautiful wrappings. It was a folded map of the Seireitei, each building neatly labelled. There were several paths marked out through the streets in some colour code that Ichigo couldn't decipher.

"See, here's the 11th Division headquarters. And this," Yumichika pointed to a path in purple ink, "this is Zaraki-taichou's morning patrol. He goes this way every morning, to get his breakfast _here_." A perfectly manicured finger stabbed at a building labelled 'a small café with good pastries'.

Yumichika went on, explaining the other buildings and paths – which all turned out to be the locations of and directions to Zaraki Kenpachi's favourite spots around Seireitei.

"Uh… thanks, Yumichika. But why do I wanna be able to track down that—uh, track down your captain, exactly?"

"Track him down? Well I guess you could do that, if you wanted a good fight," Yumichika mused. "I was thinking more that this would help you figure out where _not_ to be." The room erupted into laughter as comprehension lit Ichigo's face.

"Oh! This is _great_, thanks!" he grinned at the happily preening shinigami. "This'll _never_ leave my pocket," Ichigo vowed as he stowed the precious map carefully.

"Put this in there, too." Shuuhei handed him a small piece of paper. "This is the guy who does my ink. You probably don't remember, but he did yours, too. He offers a special deal to all 'Saviours of the Soul Society'," he informed Ichigo with a chuckle. "There's a note in there, he'll throw in an extra discount for you."

"Thanks, I might take him up on that, actually. Just as long as there's no booze involved next time, and _you two_ stay far, far away while I'm deciding what to get and where to get it!" Ichigo pointed at Shuuhei and Renji, who looked unapologetic and entirely pleased with themselves.

"Ink?" Rukia's eyebrows shot up. "Ichigo, you… you have a _tattoo?_ Where is it? Lemme see! It's not like _his_, is it?"

"You never told her?" Ichigo gave Renji a surprised look.

"Never came up, I guess," Renji shrugged sheepishly.

Ichigo rolled up his sleeve to expose the strawberry on his shoulder. "Was that night right after the war. You were up at the 4th, and this stupid jerk—" Ichigo jerked his head toward the grinning Renji. "—decided to take me out with these _other_ jerks and get me drunk. Woke up with this and a monster hangover the next mornin'… right about _there_, actually," he nodded toward a spot on the floor.

Another round of laughter swept the room as Ichigo endured Rukia's examination. "That's really cu— nice, Ichigo, it's very nice." Rukia swallowed her giggles and flapped her hand at Ikkaku in an attempt to divert attention.

"Hah, if I'm such a jerk maybe I won't give ya yer gift." Ikkaku bared his teeth, then sniggered. "Nah, I'm jus' too nice a' guy." He tossed Ichigo a small phial on a chain. "S'my special blend. Ya need ta keep this stuff on ya, I keep tellin' ya. Th' way ya get cut up alla time, they shoulda putcha in with us instead a' th' 3rd!"

Ichigo recognized the salve immediately. "I do my best," he laughed. "'Preciate it."

"Iba-san, it's your turn." Rukia waved him on.

"Right." He deposited a square brown package at Ichigo's feet. "Special delivery from Karakura!" Iba swept an exaggerated bow.

"Karakura?" Ichigo tore open the package. Inside were several smaller wrapped packages and a stack of letters. He rifled through the papers quickly, recognizing the handwriting of several friends, both of his sisters, and even his father.

"Oi Renji, this one's got your name on it," Ichigo held out a small waxed paper bundle. "That's Yuzu's writing…"

"Hah!" Renji snatched the bundle out of his hands and dug into it eagerly. "I really love that girl." The sweet, chocolaty scent of Yuzu's baking rose from the package.

Ichigo elbowed him. "How come you're gettin' presents for my birthday, huh?"

"I'm just that kinda guy, what can I say?" Renji grinned around a mouthful.

"Iba, how'd you manage this?" Ichigo knew for a fact that the 7th had been just as busy as the rest of them this past week.

Iba stood very straight. "My ways are many, and they are mysterious, Kurosaki-dono," he intoned solemnly.

"Uh, thank you very much, Iba-fukutaichou," Ichigo tipped his head politely, looking up in confusion when Ikkaku cackled gleefully.

"Ya got 'im, Iba!"

"Tetsu-san, that wasn't very nice," Yumichika chided, though he too was hiding a smile behind his hand. Iba was smirking unabashedly.

"I wrote t' your sisters when ya told me you were comin' here early. Lucky for you they like me an' were willin' t' do me a favour," Renji explained loftily.

"Feh… idiots." Ichigo grinned. "Thanks everyone, this is great." He raised his glass, and the party began in earnest.

_I've got some weird friends, but they _are_ good friends._ Ichigo laughed at Ikkaku drunkenly attempting to teach Rukia his 'Luck Luck' dance, the not-quite-as-drunk Rukia gamely playing along while Iba commented on their technique.

Through their link he could easily feel Renji's tiredness, but Ichigo was still slightly surprised when Renji shifted to lean against his shoulder.

They never touched each other in public – at least, not like this. They made no secret of their relationship, they were both just extremely private about it. The lightest of spiritual links was maintained, but it was incredibly subtle. True, they always sat together, and in company their legs would often press against each other briefly, but…

_Not that this is exactly public – it's our place, after all. It's just our friends, and it's not… it's actually kinda nice. No one even blinked, though I'm pretty sure Rukia and Yumichika're gonna go all sparkly-eyes._

Ichigo returned the pressure with his shoulder, and tentatively leaned his head against Renji's. A surge of affection flowed between them. For some reason Ichigo couldn't understand, his heart began beating wildly.

He caught Rukia smiling at them as she tiptoed her way through another dance – there were those sparkly eyes.

They sat like that together for most of the night. Even when they moved around to join other conversations and refill their glasses, they eventually returned to their comfortable spot leaning against each other.

The party lasted well into the night, ending only when even Ikkaku's seemingly endless supply of drinks ran out.

When everyone finally left, they staggered to their futon, collapsing onto it in a tangled heap. Ichigo was seriously considering just falling asleep where he'd landed when he felt Renji's hands sliding over his chest.

"I thought we were tired?" Ichigo turned on his side to smile at his lover.

"Not too tired t' give ya a proper birthday present," Renji murmured gently. Their lips brushed, meeting again and again, each time pressing more firmly than the last until they finally parted to allow soft tongues to slowly, sleepily caress each other. They brought their hands together, linking their fingers as they began their private celebration.

§

**_Omake_**  
_-Chapter 3 omake-_

Shuuhei: I think the "wrap Renji up as a present" idea wasn't so bad.

Yumichika: How tacky, Shuu-chan!

Akuni: (giggles)

Shuuhei: Dammit Yumi don't call me that... (inpublic)

Akuni: I think it's sweet.

Rukia: She is _so_ right.

Yumichika: You're outvoted, Shuu-chan! At least they appreciate romance!

Shuuhei: (sighs)

Rukia: (thoughtful) Yumichika-san, there's something I think you might be able to help me with.

Yumichika: Ohh?

Rukia: I've convinced Nanao-san to let me borrow her camera, and I thought with your eye for beauty, you might be willing to help me capture a special moment.

Yumichika: (sparkles)

Shuuhei: Uh oh… I am so outta here…

Yumichika: Not so fast, Shuuhei!

Shuuhei: Crap.

Akuni: Sorry, Shuuhei, he's faster than I am.

Ichigo: Hey guys, what's up?

All: NOTHING!

Renji: … Uh, ok. (aside to Ichigo) I think they're still drunk.

Ichigo: Uh huh. Maybe we should just go back to bed.

Renji: Now _that's_ a good idea!


	4. Chapter 4 Trepidation

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 60,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Trepidation**

"Do they ever end?" Ichigo grunted as he slashed through yet another cat-sized Hollow. "These little buggers are so annoying!"

"I think I'd rather fight Huge Hollows than these," Kira agreed.

The Division was supposed to be on a routine patrol, but they'd soon encountered a rather weak looking Hollow. Junior squad members had dispatched it easily, only to release a seemingly endless stream of miniature Hollows from the fake shell of the old. They swarmed like bugs – individually they weren't difficult to defeat, but their strange size and the sheer number of them made the experience uncomfortably creepy.

"This isn't normal, is it?"

"No," Kira replied. He muttered a quick incantation and a ball of red energy blasted into the thickest part of the swarm. "Definitely not normal."

"So pretty much like everythin' else around here lately." Ichigo swept away a half dozen of the creatures as they bore down and threatened to overwhelm a frightened recruit.

"Th-thank you, Kurosaki-dono!"

"Less talkin', more fighting," Ichigo reminded him, pointedly skewering another Hollow. "An' I already told you guys not to call me that."

"Yes, Ku–Ichigo-dono!"

_Eh, whatever._ They weren't bad, Ichigo noted as the young shinigami turned to fight solidly beside an even greener recruit. _They just need more experience, and a bit of confidence and leadership. Kira's actually not a bad leader, but no one's givin' these guys any room – they haven't got a chance._

He stepped back as the other shinigami thinned the swarm. No, they weren't much different from any other squad, at least that he'd seen. They had a _lot_ more new members, though, most of them young, which made things a little more difficult for the veter—

"Hey, you're wide open over there, watch it!" Ichigo deflected another Hollow as it launched itself toward a recruit's unguarded chest. It shrieked as it tumbled away, only to vapourize as another squad member caught it in a blast of lightning.

"Sorry, Ichigo-dono!" she squeaked.

"Don't be sorry, just stay focused." Ichigo looked around. It wasn't long before he found himself leaping to the aid of another flustered recruit; Kira had been doing the same throughout the fight.

_These kids need a few lessons in fear._ Ichigo thought back to his own training with Urahara. _Not a single one of the new ones has found their resolve._ He made a mental note to discuss it with Kira when they returned to headquarters.

§

After the patrol, Kira readily agreed that the 3rd Division would benefit from some enhanced training exercises. Kira decided to speak with Soi Fong about enhancing hakuda training, while Ichigo went to ask Unohana-taichou about ways to improve morale.

"Yo, Ichigo!"

Ichigo's heart sank – he'd forgotten to check his map. _Not him again!_ He turned reluctantly to greet the owner of the too-hearty voice. "Kenpachi."

The 11th Division captain loomed behind him. "Hope ya been trainin'! Ya ready to fight, Ichigo?"

Ichigo ran through the possible responses in his mind. _Can't say no, he'll just come back. Can't run away, he'll just chase me. Can't ignore him, he'll just start swingin' at me. Guess that leaves…_

"Oi, Kenpachi!" Ichigo stepped back a pace. "I'm busy right now, but I'll make ya a deal."

"Eh? What kinda deal, hey?" Zaraki's bells chimed as he cocked his head at Ichigo.

"I'll spar with ya once a week – with _strict_ limitations, like 'no killing' – if ya quit buggin' me about it in between," Ichigo offered. _I must be insane, but I can't think of any other way to get him off my back without one of us bein' dead! Deader. Whatever._

"Once a week, huh?" Zaraki's face wrinkled as he thought this over. "Gonna hold ya to it, Ichigo!"

"Yay, Ken-chan has a play date with Icchy!" Yachiru bobbed up into view, smiling hugely.

"Er, yeah, whatever." Ichigo made a face and hastily excused himself, explaining that he was supposed to be meeting with Unohana-taichou.

_What've I gotten myself into?!_

§_  
_

_Has it already been five weeks? Feels like five days… or five years, I can't tell._ Renji was still in bed, enjoying the quiet morning – a rarity lately. The attacks still came every few days, and their randomness was baffling. Still, the Divisions were handling it as best they could, some days better than others.

_I know it ain't just me thinkin' that Ichigo's bein' here plays a part in that. He's breathin' life in t' the system._ Renji smiled into the darkness. _Breathin' life in t' _me,_ too. Never knew how easy it'd be t' share everythin' with someone. I kinda miss the stupid fights we used t' have, though._ The smile turned into a grin. _The makin' up part would be much more fun, now._

Ichigo stirred beside him, wrapping himself more tightly around Renji's body.

"Mornin'." Renji pressed his lips to the bright hair sharing his pillow.

"Already? Don't wanna get up."

"So don't."

"But I've got that extra training thing this afternoon I promised Kira I'd do for the recruits," Ichigo groaned.

"Ya got hours yet, then. Go back t' sleep."

"Can't, you've gone all tense 'cause you're thinkin' too much."

"Sorry."

"Anything you wanna tell me about?"

"Eh, just thinkin' 'bout how much better things are since ya got here," Renji smiled again. "Not just for me, though I love havin' ya here every mornin' an' every night." He wiggled one foot in between Ichigo's ankles. "Seein' what ya've done for everyone else. 'Specially the 3rd, an' Kira."

"I'm just tryin' to do my job, like everyone else."

"Ya don't know, 'cause ya weren't here t' see how it was before everythin' went bad, but 3rd used t' be a solid Division. An' Kira…" Renji trailed off, remembering the smiling face of the young man he'd trained with.

"What about him?"

"He was a different man, then. Nothin' like when you first met 'im, yanno at the start a' the war. That bastard, his pathetic excuse for a captain, screwed him up good." Renji didn't want to waste energy hating the traitorous ex-captains, but some days it was harder than others. Kira had become a cold, melancholy man under Ichimaru. There were more frequent glimpses of the friendly, cheerful youth Renji had known in the academy, but he thought Kira would probably never regain the open innocence that had so endeared him to his classmates.

"Aizen probably helped, with that freaky ass zanpakutou," Ichigo pointed out.

"Yeah, they did a number on everyone. Kira, Hinamori... If Hitsugaya-taichou hadn't snapped her out a' her guilt… well, least she's happier now in the Kidoushuu."

"Good."

Renji sighed. "Che. Never thought it'd come t' that. Captains an' lieutenants turnin' traitor. Part a' me still can't get over it."

"Figured that's why you asked for Rukia for your lieutenant," Ichigo said. "Least you could trust each other."

"T' Hell an' back. Only other person I trust like that is you." A tingle ran through their combined energies. A hand on Renji's cheek turned his face so warm lips could claim his.

"The way you two squabble sometimes, you'd think you were related by blood," Ichigo smiled after they pulled apart.

Renji chuckled. "Was thinkin' how I kinda missed the way _we_ used t' argue. The makin' up part'd be an awful lot a' fun."

Ichigo snickered into the pillow. "What do ya wanna fight about, then?"

"Don't think it'd be quite the same if we just made it up," Renji grinned. "Though ya _do_ steal all the blankets when it's cold."

"Any excuse to get you closer."

"Hah, like ya need an excuse for _that_." Renji pressed closer to emphasize the point.

"So… does that mean you'd have me for your lieutenant, then?" Ichigo backed the conversation up a bit.

"Nah, don't think so."

"Eh?" Ichigo propped himself up on one elbow. "Why not?" There was a hint of challenge in his voice.

"Ahh…" Renji struggled to put it into words. "Well ok, it's not 'cause you wouldn't do a good job – 'cause ya would, I already told Shuuhei I thought ya'd be a damn good Captain someday. It's 'cause I wouldn't want t' have ya under me, s'all," he confessed. "We're partners in everythin' else. It wouldn't be right t' be in charge a' you."

Ichigo was silent as he considered the revelation. Then he grinned. "Ya didn't seem to mind havin' me under you last night," he said with exaggerated thoughtfulness.

Renji nearly choked on his laughter. "Nope, that's always good."

"'Course you're under me just as often, and ya don't seem to mind that, either," he continued over Renji's spluttering mirth.

"That's always good, too," Renji gasped as he fought to catch his breath.

"But you're right, I can see how that wouldn't really work tryin' to run a Division. Can you imagine if they had to share?"

Renji managed a grin. "Well for one thing, the cloaks just wouldn't fit!" The image of Yachiru peering out from under Zaraki's tattered cloak nearly sent him into another fit of laughter.

"Yanno, it might be kinda fun, though," Ichigo mused. "I wouldn't mind havin' you in charge for a little while," he winked suggestively.

"You'd hafta do what you're told, an' ya ain't too good at that," Renji smirked.

Ichigo was clearly fighting a smirk of his own. "Depends. I can if you can."

"In that case…" Renji put on his most authoritative voice. "First order, get over here an' kiss me."

"That's too easy." Ichigo kissed him, then ran his lips down the side of his neck. "Look, there's even a map!"

Renji struggled to keep his voice even. "Well you just keep followin' the map. Now, sex me up good!"

"Is that another order?" Ichigo's lips twitched noticeably, and his voice shook with restrained laughter.

"You bet it is."

"Yes, Abarai-taichou!" Ichigo rolled over him. "Right away, Abarai-taichou!" They looked at each other for a moment, then Ichigo collapsed on Renji's chest as they both burst into uncontrollable laughter. "Just as soon as we can breathe again!" Ichigo wheezed. "Did you really just tell me to 'sex you up good'?"

Renji just held on tightly and laughed even harder, squirming as Ichigo's tongue deliberately tickled his ear. _He's the most fun I've ever had._

§

The situation was getting worse with each passing day. Ichigo felt the tension in the air surrounding even the newest shinigami recruits, which did nothing to ease his apprehension. All too soon he would have to return to his other life, leaving his friends and comrades here to fight without him. They were all strong, capable people, but he couldn't help worrying – one more strong fighter could sometimes be the difference between victory and defeat.

On a tactical level, Ichigo worried especially about the 3rd Division. He'd done his best to get to know some of the members and instil some confidence into them, but the prevailing attitude that the 3rd was a weak, 'cursed' Division worked against him. That the members of the 3rd believed it themselves made it even more difficult. As soon as Ichigo's efforts influenced one member to find pride in the Division, he encountered three more still radiating despair. It was an uphill battle, but he refused to sit by and let those young shinigami be defeated before they even got on the field.

He was more at ease with his friends' abilities to keep themselves alive, but the strain of the frequent, random attacks was beginning to show. Rarely were their friends all together in one place; all Divisions were on high alert, and patrols had been doubled. Their gatherings tended to be smaller and end earlier than before, though they were no less boisterous.

On a personal level, Ichigo ached at the thought of leaving Renji. It wasn't that he thought his lover couldn't handle it – on the contrary, Renji was one of the strongest people he'd ever known. They went full out against each other in training; they were confident enough in the other's skill not to hold back, and it was a relief having one less person to worry about protecting on the battlefield. This confidence and respect carried into other aspects of their lives together as well. They were competitive by nature, and extremely energetic. Wrestling matches were never conceded; they lasted until they were too tired to continue, or, as was more often the case, until the prolonged physical contact ignited the other spark between them. Having a lover as strong and resilient as yourself was a bonus in many ways. They weren't interested in violent bed play, but when their emotions were running high and they wanted it hard and fast and _right now_, they knew they didn't have to restrain their desire.

No, the cap to Ichigo's _personal_ frustration wasn't worry; it was the thought of returning to the loneliness he felt without Renji around every day. They'd had ten weeks together, after making do with weekend and holiday visits for the better part of a year – returning to their old habits after this was going to be difficult. Especially since Ichigo knew exactly what kind of other difficulties Renji would be facing every day, this time without the comfort they found in each others' arms. The tension crept up on him when he least expected it, and he couldn't stop himself from being short with the people around him.

_This won't be over before I have to leave. I don't have enough time…_

§

**Omake**  
_Chapter 4 omake  
_

Renji: Oo sex games, fun stuff!

Akuni: (grins) Glad ya liked it.  
Ichigo: Oh yeah, that was fun as— Hey, just hold on a minute here! Ya got me sparring _regularly_ with _Kenpachi?!_ Are you freakin' insane?

Renji: (laughs) C'mon Ichigo, you can kick his ass any day a' the week!

Ichigo: Maybe, but it takes a lotta effort, yanno!

Akuni: Ichigo, it'll help make you stronger. And if you don't deal with him, he's just going to keep chasing you around.

Ichigo: … Damn, that's true. (sighs) I guess it won't be so bad.

Renji: An' ya get t' look cool doin' it, too. Maybe I'll come with ya an' watch.

Ichigo: You wanna watch me fight?

Renji: (flushes a bit) Yeah, so what?

Ichigo: I practice with you all the time.

Renji: That's different.

Ichigo: How?

Renji: (mumbles)

Ichigo: What was that?

Renji: I ain't sayin' it again! (blushes more)

Akuni: Ohh!

Renji: (is very red)

Akuni: Ichigo, I think… it's the coat.

Ichigo: Huh?

Akuni: You ever taken a look at yourself while you're in bankai?

Ichigo: Uh no? Not many mirrors on the battlefield, or in the training yard for that matter.

Akuni: I knew it… Renji, he's got _no_ clue.

Renji: How can he not know?!

Akuni: This is _Ichigo_ we're talking about here.

Renji: …Right.

Ichigo: (scowls) What're you two talkin' about?

Akuni: (looks at Renji)

Renji: (sighs) Ok. Ichigo, ya look _damn good_ in that outfit, an' when ya fight… the way ya move, you're impossibly sexy.

Ichigo: (is floored) …really? (blushes furiously)

Renji: Hell yes. (stares hard at Ichigo and licks his lips)

Ichigo: Wow… I thought I... I mean… (clears throat) Then I guess I could tell ya that, uh… I always… I like watching you fight, too.

Renji: (blinks) The giant skeletal snake is a turn on?

Ichigo: No, not _that!_ Your bankai is incredible but it's not… no, I meant, erm, when ya release your shikai. Always thought that was pretty cool… you do this jump thing when ya call Zabimaru, and when you attack your eyes kinda light up, and… (eyes Renji up and down) Yeah, you move good, too.

Renji: I had no idea… what else don't we know 'bout each other, I wonder? (raises eyebrows)

Ichigo: Heh, who knows… wanna find out? (grins suggestively)

Renji: (grins back)

Akuni: Ok I'm gonna go now…


	5. Chapter 5 Turmoil

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Turmoil**

Ichigo wasn't having a very good day. The Division had been making progress, but they still had a long way to go. Training for the 3rd that morning had been one disaster after another, sending three members to the infirmary at the 4th. After that, Ichigo had spent several hours sparring with Zaraki Kenpachi, "just for fun". Unfortunately, Zaraki's idea of 'fun' was running full tilt to the edge of the 'kill or be killed' cliff and stretching over it as far as possible without falling off, laughing the whole time. After another trip to the 4th and a quick patch-up – they'd been getting ready for him as soon as they got Ichigo's message about the planned spar – Ichigo had finally been able to go home to get some rest for the next day and a half.

When he arrived home, tired, hungry, and a bit cranky, he was hit with another set of challenges. The place was a disaster – they hadn't had time in _days_ to do anything but fight Hollows and catch up on Division work that piled up while they were out fighting. There'd been no time for picking up after themselves. Uniforms in conditions varying from 'dirty' to 'torn and bloody' were strewn across the floor beside empty cartons from the hasty meals they'd snatched in between shifts, since there'd been no time for stocking food supplies. Ichigo's rumbling stomach was displeased with that in particular.

A glance at their disorganized bedding underscored his extreme frustration that there'd been no time for _that_ all week, either. The thought of spending their day off putting this place back into order was the final straw for his foul mood.

When Renji stormed in only a few minutes later, the energy in the room swelled unpleasantly as their reiatsu crashed together. Renji flung himself down and began growling before he'd even hit the couch.

"Ya won't believe what that Soi Fong suggested," Renji practically snarled. "She wants t' use _my_ people as _bait_, t' train her new batch a' special operatives. She implied we're really _good_ at runnin'—"

Ichigo snapped. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" he shouted. "Ya burst in here and start yelling without so much as a 'hello'?"

Renji's eyes widened, then narrowed angrily. "You're the one doin' all the yellin'," he said hotly. "'The fuck'd I do t' deserve that?"

Ichigo couldn't rein in his temper. He knew it was stupid, he knew it was irrational, but it felt _so_ good to let out the pent-up frustration. "I had a rotten day, too, yanno, and ya just came in here and started right away!" The energy in the room was spiky and uneven.

"Well, 'scuse me if I figured ya'd give a damn, an' want t' know what was goin' on!" Renji stood and stalked over to face him.

"I _do_ give a damn, and you know it! I just came home hoping to find some peace and quiet, and some time with _you_ for a change, and I get this!" Ichigo gestured violently at the chaos in their quarters. "I miss you, and I don't wanna waste any of our time!"

"Well I miss ya, too, dammit! I hate that this's the first time in nearly a week we got time t' do somethin' other'n race 'round from one crisis t' the next!"

They stared at each other, almost nose to nose, breathing hard from the shouting.

"Er…" Renji blinked. "So why're we fightin', again?" His expression was so comical that Ichigo's anger melted away, replaced by the usual warmth they felt when they were together.

"'Cause today sucked?" Ichigo offered sheepishly.

Renji looked abashed. "Heh, ya remember the last time we fought over somethin' stupid?"

"Oh yeah." They were still standing so closely, Ichigo took the opportunity to press their lips together to reinforce the memory, and the apology. They were both unprepared for the flood of desire that shot through their still-intensely charged energies.

"… the hell was that?!"

Ichigo thought for a moment before it came to him. He eyed his lover suggestively. "Renji," he mused, "do you suppose that qualified as a proper fight?"

Renji's answering grin was immediate. "Well it was kinda short, but we _were_ pretty mad." He untied Ichigo's sash with slow, deliberate motions. "I think soooo—" he groaned as Ichigo attacked his neck. "Ichi…"

The sudden ache in his groin was demanding attention. "Then I think it's time for the making up part."

They grabbed for each other urgently, tearing off each others' uniforms and scattering them with the rest on the floor in their frenzy. They tumbled onto their futon in a tangle of limbs, mouths devouring each other hungrily.

"I've waited for you for _days_," Ichigo panted. "_Needed_ you." He bit Renji's neck hard right below the ear, pulling another groan from the shinigami.

"Well ya got me now, what do ya want t' do with me?" Renji's hands squeezed Ichigo's thighs before sliding up to tease him. "How do ya want t' do this?"

"Don't care, as long as we do it _right now_," Ichigo growled, latching onto Renji's neck again.

"Works for me." Renji pulled Ichigo on top of him and turned his head to bring their lips together. "I could use a good fuck," he flashed a sharp grin. "An' after," Renji's voice dropped down low, "I want t' take my time makin' love t' you."

The energy roared through their bond like fire, the passion triggered by this promise setting every nerve ablaze. Everything else fell away as their focus narrowed to satisfying the burning need to savour each other.

§

There was another attack the morning of the day before Ichigo was scheduled to return to the living world. It was brief but brutal; three squads took heavy casualties before it was over. The rest of the day passed quietly, but it felt too much like the calm before the storm for anyone to relax.

Ichigo and Renji returned to their quarters directly after the end of their shift. Ten weeks had flown, and the time until Ichigo's departure was now measured in hours. When they arrived, Renji paused only long enough to throw off his cloak before sinking onto the couch, gently pulling Ichigo down beside him.

They rested against each other wearily, leaning their heads together and wrapping their arms loosely around each others' shoulders. The silence stretched comfortably as they relaxed together, feeling the peaceful swirl of energy around them.

"I hate that I have to leave tomorrow," Ichigo eventually mumbled, closing his eyes.

"Me too."

"I _really_ hate that I have to sleep alone again."

"Don't remind me." Renji's sigh brushed across his cheek, sending a pleasant shiver down Ichigo's neck.

"I'm still here tonight, though." He pressed his lips to Renji's neck, and felt the arms around him tighten.

"It'd be a shame t' waste it." Renji's low laugh was accompanied by a surge of energy through their bond.

Ichigo lifted his head and turned to meet Renji's lips with his own. The kiss started off slow and sweet, but the growing desire between them soon sparked into passion.

A brief hammering was all the warning they had to break apart before the door was flung open.

"Renji! Ichigo-san! I'm sorry, I'm _really_ sorry, but—" Rikichi stood panting in the doorway, eyes quickly averted, trying desperately to catch his breath. He needn't have bothered, though – they could sense the growing disturbance for themselves now that they'd been shocked into alertness.

"Calm down and breathe, Rikichi, it's ok." Renji stood and shrugged back into his cloak as Ichigo straightened his uniform.

"I know you've both just come off your last shift, and I know it's your last night here…" Rikichi looked at Ichigo apologetically. "Everyone's being called back in. Something _immense_ is trying to break through, and they think it'll be here in less than an hour."

"It's ok, that's why I'm here," Ichigo reassured the young shinigami even as he squirmed a bit inside at having their closeness witnessed.

Rikichi was aware of their relationship, of course; when Ichigo had first visited Soul Society after it had begun, Rikichi had told them, "I've known since Renji-san came back from his mission in the summer. He talked about you for days, but he couldn't seem to decide if he was happy or sad." Ichigo hadn't been able to stop his burst of laughter at the disconcerted look on Renji's face at his comrade's ingenuous revelation.

"Who sent _you_ here?" Renji asked as they headed out.

"Ah, I was at headquarters when the message came down for all officers to report in. Kuchiki-fukutaichou had to go ahead, and I didn't think…" Rikichi coloured faintly, "…didn't think you'd want just anyone coming in."

"That's very thoughtful," Renji said. "This ain't a secret, though."

"Well you're both sorta private people, and you deserve to have your intimate moments stay that way." He spoke with such earnest sincerity that Ichigo found most of his discomfort falling away.

Renji coughed. "We got a fight t' be at, or did ya forget?" he growled, but the effect was spoiled as he gripped the younger shinigami's shoulder briefly in thanks before they started running.

§

Nearly all senior officers and a large number of lower seated shinigami were gathered at the site of the disturbance. Sickly green energy swirled overhead, shot through with angry black lightning. It covered a large area, larger than any of the other breaches they'd seen.

They joined Kira and Shuuhei at the edge of the crowd. Renji scanned the familiar faces, noting that Rukia already had their team ready to go.

"Any news?" Renji asked.

"Not yet," Shuuhei frowned. "Still waiting for Yamamoto-sou-taichou to arrive."

"You two must be exhausted," Kira sounded concerned. "Ichigo, you're supposed to be leaving in the morning."

"Guess I'll be goin' out with a bang," Ichigo shrugged and smiled, but Renji could feel that his lover regretted the loss of the night as much as he did.

Shuuhei nudged them to be quiet. "Hey, he's here."

"Captains of the Gotei 13," the old man's voice boomed. "We face a great challenge this evening, one that will take all our resources to combat." The fire in Yamamoto's eyes burned brightly. "Your assignments. The 2nd and 12th Divisions, surveillance and precision strikes. The 4th and 13th, fall back and establish a relief base and protected supply line. The 1st and 6th Divisions to the North, 7th to the East, 8th to the South, 9th to the West. The 5th, 10th, and 11th Divisions cover any hot spots and destroy anything that breaks through."

The 3rd Division wasn't mentioned, a fact no one missed.

_That's a cheap trick. Kira ain't even got the authority t' protest._ He knew most of the shinigami present didn't know the acting captain of the 3rd well enough, but Renji recognized the frustrated set of Kira's shoulders. He stepped forward, not knowing what to say but with his conscience demanding he say something.

Yamamoto ignored him completely as he continued. "Kurosaki Ichigo, you will—"

"Fight with my Division, of course," Ichigo stated smoothly. "It's been my privilege to serve with Kira-taichou and the 3rd, and I'll continue there as long as they'll have me." He bowed his head politely to Kira before turning and facing Yamamoto steadily.

The murmur that ran through the assembled shinigami died quickly as Kuchiki Byakuya's chilly gaze swept the crowd.

_He sure knows how t' play the formality game._ Renji struggled to conceal his pride as Ichigo calmly challenged the Commander-General of the Gotei 13. He was fairly certain no one else could feel the irritation simmering below the surface of Ichigo's energy. _An' the other Captains definitely noticed he didn't say he was serving _under_ Kira._

'Very well. The 3rd Division will assist the 5th here."

Renji barely stopped himself from sucking in a breath at the further insult thrown toward the 3rd, and the fact that _his_ Division had been used to do it. "Yes, Yamamoto-sou-taichou." He didn't dare interfere in whatever game Ichigo was playing with the old man.

"You have your orders. Dismissed."

Ichigo lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile as the Commander-General turned to his own Division without another word. "Kira-taichou, what role do you want me to take as we fight beside the 5th?"

This time there was no quelling the whispers that broke out as the assembled shinigami spread to carry out their orders.

_Sonuva bitch, he's got a set a' steel!_ Renji nearly laughed aloud as Ichigo turned the insult into an honour with a single word. The Commander-General was still within earshot, but gave no indication that he'd heard.

"Kurosaki-dono, please apply your skills in this fight where they are most needed." Kira could play the game, too, Renji noted with amusement.

"Understood, Kira-taichou."

"The 5th is honoured t' fight beside Kira-taichou an' the 3rd. An' a' course Kurosaki-dono's always our welcome ally." Renji chose his words deliberately to show his support. To his utter surprise, Kuchiki Byakuya gave him the faintest of nods before leading his own forces into position. He stored that startling bit of information for later.

Renji dropped the formality as the others flashed out of sight. "Damn, Ichigo, ya got a lot a' nerve!" he chuckled.

Ichigo let out a heavy breath. "Too much, maybe. Thought he was gonna roast me! But it's just not right the way they stomp all over 'em."

"Looks like we ain't the only ones t' think that, either. Some a' the others looked a bit put out."

"That looks like a good place for you two to set up," Kira pointed, obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Good call, Kira. Ya not comin' with us?"

"No, I need to see to my people," he smiled faintly. "I don't have a trusty lieutenant, remember."

Renji's shrill whistle caught Rukia's attention. He pointed to himself and Ichigo, then to the hilltop. She nodded, a wave of her arm indicating her intention to direct their forces down below.

Ichigo looked at him inquisitively as they climbed to the top of the low rise. "Kuchiki Byakuya," Renji whispered quietly. Ichigo's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah, tell me 'bout it."

From their vantage point on the hill, Renji watched Rukia efficiently organizing their people. They'd do well; they made him proud, every time.

There was a terrible screaming, tearing sound as the sky began to split. Renji felt Ichigo's solid presence at his side. _No one I'd rather have beside me._

"_Hoeru, Zabimaru!_" The wicked blade extended smoothly under his hand, eager for the fight. Renji turned to face his other partner with a grin. "Let's do it."

Ichigo drew Zangetsu off his back in a single fluid motion, the wrappings snapping in the stiff breeze. "Oh yeah," he grinned back. "Let's give 'em hell."

They stood side by side waiting for the horde to appear.

§

"That's it! It's closed, it's over!" the cry went up from the exhausted kidou team.

Ichigo slashed through the last Hollow in front of him and looked up wearily. The light staining the sky wasn't from the rift anymore, it was the false dawn – and the rift was closed. "Oh. We're done."

"Good." Renji was still right behind him, leaning heavily on his zanpakutou. "Dunno how much longer we coulda kept that up," he huffed.

Ichigo peered at him curiously. Renji's uniform was badly slashed, and one foot was soaked red with the blood running down a gash in his exposed leg. "You're a mess," he said, surprised.

"What?" Renji looked down, then shrugged. "Heh. You, too."

Ichigo looked at himself. His own uniform was in a sorry state; he didn't even remember when he lost his right sleeve.

"Ya got a nasty cut on your forehead," Renji observed. "Bleedin' all over the place."

A burly shinigami wearing a 4th Division uniform trotted over to them. "Abarai-taichou, Kurosaki-dono," he bowed. "Unohana-taichou requests your presence at the aid station as soon as you've taken care of your men."

"We'll be there," Renji nodded to the shinigami as he bowed again and hastened away.

They met up with Rukia and Kira before heading to the aid station to get patched up. Every Division had casualties, but so far there were no fatalities from the 3rd or the 5th. The 11th had a number of members being treated by members of the 4th, their usual banter entertaining the injured.

After the war with Aizen, an odd respect had grown up between the two Divisions, due to the heroic actions between members of both. Now it seemed as if members of the 4th took pride in how well they could patch up the members of the 11th, who seemed even more eager than before to get themselves busted up as an odd sort of challenge to their counterparts. A bittersweet memory skittered through the back of Ichigo's mind, but he was too tired to acknowledge it.

There were only a few hours left before Ichigo was supposed to leave, but he made a point of sharing a few words with each of the injured shinigami from the 3rd before they left. Their responses ranged from shy smiles to steady gazes and firm nods, but they all seemed pleased to see him, and repeated the farewells they'd already made earlier in the day. The faces of the young recruits struck him especially hard, and the nagging worry he'd been feeling for weeks grew stronger.

As they trudged back to their quarters, Renji handed Ichigo a small round pill. "Got some a' the 4th Division's pep pills," Renji said before swallowing one himself. "Isane-fukutaichou let me have 'em on account a' I'm on duty again in about…" he peered at the sky, "…five hours, an' _you_ gotta get back in your body in about three. Can't have ya keelin' over in the street."

Ichigo popped the little pill, feeling the tingling energy spread through his weary limbs almost instantly. "It'll hafta do," he replied. "If I fall asleep now I'm not gonna move for the next day." _And I refuse to spend our last few hours together sleeping – or worrying._ He put his concerns firmly out of his mind.

The trip to their quarters was thankfully short. They left their ragged uniforms in a heap by the door and headed for the bath. Tired, stiffening muscles protested as they helped each other wash off the blood and grime.

After a short soak in the hot water, they'd loosened up enough to crawl under their blankets and wrap their arms around each other.

"Not a lot a' time left before ya got t' go." Renji squeezed the back of Ichigo's neck gently.

"Uh huh." Ichigo ran his fingertips down his lover's chest. "Don't wanna think 'bout that now. Just wanna think 'bout _you_." He pressed their lips together, Renji's heartfelt approval washing over him. An arm pulled tight around his waist as the kiss deepened.

Some things were more important than rest, and more rejuvenating than sleep.

§

Three hours later, Renji and Rukia accompanied him to the gate. Ichigo felt a bit odd when Renji reached out to grasp his hand, but it was just Rukia and she was like one of his sisters – Renji's, too, for that matter. If he hadn't been so stressed, Ichigo would've rolled his eyes at the thought of doing something as… _affectionate_ as holding hands outside of a private moment. As it was, he needed the contact just to keep his feet moving.

As they stood in front of the shimmering portal, Ichigo's worry finally got the better of him. "Be careful."

They nodded.

"If you need me…"

"It's ok, Ichigo. It'll be fine." The dark circles under Rukia's eyes twisted Ichigo's gut.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised. Rukia smiled as she hugged him, and then pointedly drifted away to examine the greenery, humming a little tune to herself.

Ichigo met Renji's gaze. "Four weeks," Ichigo's voice was low and rough. "If you can't make it…" His reiatsu flared briefly, but was quickly soothed as Renji's energy bolstered him. "I'll come back instead to help. Extra paperwork and classes be damned." Ichigo tried a smile.

"We'll manage somethin'. We always do." Renji sounded as confident as always, his tone conflicting with the tiredness in his face from responding to the midnight alert.

Ichigo swallowed his guilt; he had no choice. He pulled his lover into a rough embrace, memorizing as he always did the feel of the arms gripping him back so strongly and the warm lips that pressed swiftly against his.

"Right." His eyes held Renji's one more time, eyes that mirrored the loss he felt as their reiatsu separated.

Ichigo stepped through the portal.

§

"You ok?"

Renji looked down at his petite companion. "Gotta be, don't I?" He wrapped an arm around her slender shoulders for a brief moment before they headed back to the division offices and the work ahead.

§

Shuuhei and Yumichika watched the lovers embrace from their vantage point in the bushes.

"You get it?"

Yumichika held up Nanao's camera. "Perfectly."

Shuuhei grinned.

§

**_Omake_**  
_Chapter 5 omake_

Yumichika: Oh Rukia-san, this was a _very_ good idea

Rukia: (beams a smile)

Shuuhei: How do I let you talk me into these things, Yumi?

Akuni: Because—

Shuuhei: _Never mind!_ Rhetorical question!

Renji: You guys are acting very suspicious!

Ichigo: No kidding. And since when do they get so much attention, huh?

Akuni: Aw, are you guys jealous that you have to share the spotlight?

Renji: Che. 'Course not.

Ichigo: No way. Just a bit suspicious, is all. We're watchin' you guys.

Shuuhei: I think you should be more concerned with who's watching _you_, Ichigo.

Ichigo: You guys think Yamamoto's pissed at me?

Renji: Hard t' say, really.

Shuuhei: He's a hard man to read.

Ichigo: Maybe I'd better practice a formal apology…


	6. Chapter 6 Conscience

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Conscience**

Each step Ichigo took toward his flat sent a lance of guilt through him.

_I left them. I left them. I left them._

The chant burned in his mind the whole way, ceasing only when his feet stopped moving and he finally stood in the centre of his one room flat.

He looked around. The furniture was dusty, and the tape had given out on two of the photos stuck to the wall beside his bed. The neatly made bed. Empty and cold.

Ichigo didn't want to be there. He wanted to be in Soul Society helping his friends in their fight.

_Is that selfish of me? To wanna be there with them and help 'em solve this problem before it gets out of hand? They've been handlin' this stuff since _ever_. But I know I can help, I _know_ I made a difference._

But he had no choice.

_Why is that, exactly? Whose choice is it, if it isn't mine?_ He fell heavily into his chair and closed his eyes.

The landscape in his mind was the same as it always was.

"What the hell…?"

_:Ichigo.:_

"Zangetsu," Ichigo was surprised. "What am I doin' here?"

_:You obviously want to be here. You know how this works, Ichigo.:_ Zangetsu stood impassively as ever, coat fluttering in the breeze only he could feel.

"Yeah… I guess I do." Ichigo scanned the horizon. "Is he around?"

_:Not at the moment.:_

Ichigo grunted. "Good." He'd come to terms with his inner Hollow, but that didn't mean he wanted to have a conversation with him. Especially not one that had anything at all to do with his personal life. The first time he'd come here after beginning his unexpected relationship with Renji had been embarrassing to say the least…

§_  
_

_-1 year ago-_

_(Weeelll, if it ain't the king, come down to meet his lowly subjects!)_ The Hollow swept an exaggerated bow.

"Shut the hell up," Ichigo snapped. "Zangetsu!" he called. "Where are ya, old man?"

_(Aw, ya hurt me, aibou, ya really do!) _The Hollow cackled.

_:Hello, Ichigo. I've been expecting you, after everything that's happened.:_

"Yeah, about that…" Ichigo shifted uncomfortably, staring at the whitened figure. "You mind givin' us a little privacy?"

_(Ain't nothin' you got to say I don't already know! 'Specially if it's about that fiiine piece of a—)_

Ichigo snarled and leaped at the smirking figure.

_(—ya got yourself!)_

The clash ended as soon as it had begun; Zangetsu stepped between them, deflecting Ichigo's attack and flinging them apart.

_:This isn't the time. This conflict has already been resolved.:_ Zangetsu reminded them, levelling a glare at the Hollow.

_(I'm just sayin' is all! That Abarai sure knows just how—)_

"That's none of your damn business! You stay out of it, you bastard!" Ichigo's eyes glowed eerily. "You stay outta my private life and away from Renji, or I promise –you–won't–live– to regret it."

_(Ok, ok already, no need to get huffy, aibou.)_ The Hollow backed off at the fire in Ichigo's eyes.

"Get lost," Ichigo snarled. The Hollow vanished.

He turned to Zangetsu. "So um…" Ichigo rubbed his neck nervously. "I suppose you already know all about it."

_:Of course. I'm a part of you.:_

"It's a bit strange." Ichigo turned to stare at nothing in particular. "Windin' up this way, I mean. With Renji."

_:Not all that strange, looking at it from here on the inside.:_

"Eh?"

_:You're both a lot alike, in many ways. And very different in some others. The spark is there, though, and that's what matters, is it not?:_

"So, this is really ok then."

_:You've already had this discussion with yourself, you don't need me to validate it for you. Really, Ichigo, after so many years I thought you would have figured out by now that we're the same... how many conversations are you going to have with yourself?:_ The corner of his mouth pulled up ever so faintly.

"I just wanted to make sure is all," Ichigo grinned. "Seemed the polite thing to do."

_:Then in answer to your question, yes, Ichigo, everything is as it should be. You're happy, so I'm happy.: _Zangetsu looked up at the clear sky._ :The spark keeps the rain away. And when you come right down to it, Zabimaru is an interesting companion.:_

"Uh… what?" he stared at Zangetsu, startled.

_:You know zanpakutou communicate with each other, and Zabimaru was the only other around for most of the summer. We got to know each other very well. It's fortunate we get along, given how the pair of you are always linked. That makes the connection even stronger, you know.:_

"What… what does that mean for you?"

_:It means we have a lot of time to have a lot of fascinating discussions. Don't worry about it, Ichigo. This is how it's supposed to work.:_ He turned, looking at a shimmering in the distance. _:You should go now. Your lover is waking up.:  
_

§_  
_

_-present-_

_:Why are you here, Ichigo?:_ The immediacy of the gravely voice brought his attention back to the present.

"I… I left them. How could I do that?" Ichigo grated.

_:You have obligations in this world, Ichigo.:_

Ichigo snorted. "Obligations? You gotta be kiddin' me."

_:You have school, and a life to build.:_

"School? Compared to what's goin' on in Soul Society? That's a joke… doesn't even come close."

_:Becoming a doctor is a noble goal. You said you wanted to help people and save lives.:_

"I can do that for a lot more people as a shinigami!"

_:You have a family who misses you, friends who look up to you.:_

"My family… I care about my family. Even my crazy idiot father." Ichigo struggled. "But they don't need me right now. Soul Society… the shinigami… they _do!_"

_:Is that really all it is, Ichigo?:_

He looked up, surprised. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked suspiciously.

_:How much of this has to do with the fact that you don't want to be separated from your lover? Is the situation in Hueco Mundo simply a convenient excuse to abandon your obligations to suit yourself?:_

Ichigo couldn't believe what he was hearing. Zangetsu had never spoken to him with such contempt. And how _dare_ he imply…

"How _dare_ you?!" he fumed. "It's gonna be another _war_, only this time we have no idea what or who is causing the conflict. There's no simple 'defeat the bad guy' solution to end it all – it's gonna drag on for a long, long time at this rate. You of all people should know damned well why I want to go back. I—" He stopped mid-roar, mouth hanging open.

"I want to go back?"

No… "I _need_ to go back."

"I'm going back," he stated firmly. The fury drained out of him, leaving only his determination.

_:Good.:_ Zangetsu's approval radiated all around.

"Good?" he stared. "You bastard… you…"

_:You needed to realize you'd already made your decision. What better way than to defend it against an unjust attack?:_

"I should be pissed at you, but I can't afford to be. We've got a lot of work to do."

_:Yes.:_

"I need to talk to Pop and my sisters. And Urahara-san, and… I gotta go."

_:Ichigo.:_

"What?"

_:It _was_ an unjust attack. Your motivation for going back is sincere. But you know, it's not wrong to appreciate that doing the right thing has the added benefit of being there with Renji. You're both making the best of a difficult situation, and you've never once shirked your duties to be together.:_

Relief swept through him when he heard the reassurance he hadn't realized he'd needed. "Thanks, Zangetsu," he smiled.

Ichigo opened his eyes. He had plans to make.

§

"Pop, I need to talk to ya."

Isshin looked up, surprise painted on his face. "What do you need, my son?" He spread his arms extravagantly. "Daddy is here for you!"

Ichigo made a face. "Cut it out, this is serious." He sat next to Isshin in the kitchen of the Kurosaki family home.

"Uh oh… did you have a lover's spat? You should never go to bed angry, you know. Your mother taught me that. You should always make it up and then make l—"

"Ack, please stop talking!" Ichigo cried, aghast.

"So you didn't have a fight with Renji?"

"Of course not, now will ya just listen?" he glared. "And stay outta my private life, while you're at it."

"Ahh, you are a grown man now. You don't need your father's wisdom anymore!" Isshin gestured dramatically.

"Actually, I kinda do. But only if you cut the crazy talk." Ichigo eyed his father suspiciously. "Can you pretend for five minutes that you're a normal father who happens to also be a shinigami, instead of a nut job?"

"Oh… you mean this is _actually_ serious."

"Yes, dammit, that's what I'm tryin' to tell ya," Ichigo huffed.

"Ok, sorry." Isshin sat up straight in his chair and stared at Ichigo intently.

_Ok this's creepy, but if he can do it for five minutes so can I._

"You must know how serious things are in Soul Society," Ichigo began quietly. "I know Urahara-san keeps you informed." He slid his eyes toward Isshin briefly before returning his gaze to the wall.

Normally they didn't discuss the fact that they both had separate identities as shinigami; knowing that his father understood and was even part of that other life was one thing, but discussing it calmly in the kitchen was another.

"Yes, he does."

"Then you know it's pretty rough."

"The situation isn't getting any better, is it?" Isshin asked.

"Let's put it this way – I haven't slept in over a day and a half. When I left this morning, it was on the heels of an attack that started at midnight and didn't end 'til nearly dawn."

"Definitely getting worse, then."

"A lot worse." Ichigo took a breath. "I'm going back."

"You just got back," his father pointed out.

"I can't ignore this, Pop. It's… it's my duty. I couldn't live with myself if I sat here and did nothin' to help." _How corny can I get? It's true, though._

"Ichigo." Isshin's hand landed on his shoulder. "You have to do what you think is right. That's one of the most important lessons your mother and I tried to teach you kids." He smiled. "You do what you have to do."

Ichigo smiled back. "Thanks, Pop, I— _oof!_" He struggled to escape the bear hug that he was suddenly tackled with. "Get off me, argh!" He shifted his weight and flung his father to the floor.

"So proud of you, my son! Masaki, our boy is so noble and so strong!"

Ichigo groaned as he went in search of his sisters. _Guess a few minutes of sanity was all he could manage._

§

Renji drained his glass. Two solid days of fighting put a bad taste in his mouth that no amount of alcohol could wash away, but he was trying anyway. So were Ikkaku and Yumichika.

Yumichika sat on the floor, looking far too serious for someone who was usually cheerful – and who was currently very drunk. Ikkaku paced around Renji's quarters, wandering pointlessly since he seemed unable to sit still.

It pained Renji to see his friends in such a state; he wondered briefly what _he_ looked like to them as he gulped another of the odd green drinks Yumichika had concocted. _What _is_ this stuff?_ Renji licked his lips, trying to identify the taste._ Whatever. Does the job._

"Oi, whas' 'is?" Ikkaku peered at something on Renji's desk.

"Eh?"

"Oh! 'S a letter!" his bloodshot eyes narrowed as he attempted to read it.

"Oh, that." Renji shrugged and refilled his glass – or tried to, anyway. The watery green stuff splashed out of the glass and over the table. "Oops."

Yumichika shrugged. "There's plenty more where that came from," he offered quietly.

"Yumichika—"

"Wha?!" Ikkaku's loud hooting interrupted. "Ya call this a letter? Pathetic!"

Renji glared. "Why the hell're you readin' my mail?"

"Got nothin' else ta do," Ikkaku shrugged. "An' 's a good thing, too, 'cause this _sucks_."

"What's the matter with it? 'S just a letter, not a damn sonnet." Renji leaped up, intending to retrieve his property, but the room spun under his feet. He settled for falling back against the couch and glowering darkly.

Yumichika looked up, the curiosity on his face a welcome change from the sombre, flat-eyed look he'd worn all day. "What does it say, Ikkaku?"

"Nothin' important, 's just a letter t' Ichigo," Renji shrugged.

"He's only been gone a few days, Abarai-kun!" Yumichika's unexpected laugh put the sparkle back in his eyes for a brief moment.

"So? Still needs t' know what's goin' on 'round here." Renji fidgeted. "Look, gimme the damn letter, it ain't even done yet."

"Nuh uh." Ikkaku sat on the floor beside Yumichika. "Listen t' this," he cleared his throat.

_Ichigo,_

_There was another attack the day ya left. Lasted two solid days. Was pretty ugly – lotta injuries, but no deaths. Rikichi's in the infirmary, but Unohana-taichou says he's gonna be ok in the morning._

_Ya might like to know that the 3rd did alright, though no one seems to care. 'Course no one cares about anything right now 'cept getting drunk and getting some sleep._

_They're allowing full use of zanpakutou in Seireitei again. Ya know what that means. Looks like it's gonna get worse before it gets better. It's quiet today and we're off for a rest, but all leave's been cancelled for the next couple weeks. If things get better, they'll lift the restriction, but I dunno if I'll be able to make it out for a while. Might be able to pull in a couple favours and trade patrols with some of the other Divisions. We'll see._

_Will write again when I know more._

"Not an ounce of romance in that, Abarai-kun." Yumichika shook his head sadly.

Ikkaku snorted. "'S _boring_. Hope all yer letters ain't been this way."

"Shut up, dumbass!" Renji made a grab for the letter but only succeeded in sliding off the couch, landing heavily on the hard floor. "Fuck!"

"That's really all ya got ta say ta him?"

"It's just a damn letter, Ikkaku, what else'm I supposed t' put? _'Havin' a terrible time fightin' freaky mutant Hollow monsters without ya, wish ya were here t' help.'_?"

"Well that'd be a start. Ya could tell him how bad ya miss him, or how ya hate that yer alone here, or—"

"Shut up! I ain't writin' that stuff down!" _This's gotta be some kinda bad dream…_

"Why not?" Yumichika asked. "Don't you think he might like it?" He sounded genuinely interested.

Renji flushed. "He… he already knows that stuff!" _No, it's a nightmare…_

"But it's important to _say_ these things sometimes, Abarai-kun."

"Even _I_ know that!" Ikkaku put in.

"Why'm I even havin' this conversation with you two?!" It was then Renji noticed that Ikkaku was still sitting down, and that Yumichika looked more lively than he had since this whole mess began.

_They really mean it. What if they're right? Never thought 'bout it before._ He frowned. _Maybe I gotta be less… practical._

Renji swallowed his pride along with another full glass of the green stuff. "Ya really think I should change it?"

"Definitely."

"Hell yeah."

_I can't believe I'm doin' this._ "Ok if you're both so damn smart, how do I fix it?"

Yumichika clapped his hands together. "Oh good, we get to write a love letter!"

"_Don't say it like that!"_

"Ohh, but it's fun!" He was very nearly sparkling with excitement.

"Just… shut up an' help me," Renji grumbled.

§

Ichigo slung his knapsack over his shoulder. "Thanks for takin' care of my body again, Urahara-san."

"No problem, Kurosaki-san!"

"I… I dunno when I'll be back this time. It'll be a while."

"That's alright, Kurosaki-san. As long as it's not _years_ we'll be able to take care of your body just fine."

_Years?_ Ichigo felt a bit odd at the thought of being separated from his body for so long. "Hopefully this won't take that long. The school's lettin' me withdraw for now and pick up again later, but I don't think they had _years_ in mind when I told them I needed a leave of absence to take care of some family matters." Ichigo cracked a smile.

"We'll take good care of you." Urahara fluttered his fan. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… I almost forgot." Urahara fished a letter out of his pocket. "This came for you first thing this morning."

Ichigo took the letter, recognizing Renji's writing on the front. _Already? Must be important._ "Thanks." He opened it, conscious of Urahara's inquisitive gaze as he read.

_Ichigo,_

_There was another attack the day ya left. Lasted two solid days. Was pretty ugly – lotta injuries, but no deaths. Rikichi's in the infirmary, but Unohana-taichou says he's gonna be ok in the morning._

_Ya might like to know that the 3rd did alright, though no one seems to care. 'Course no one cares about anything right now 'cept getting drunk and getting some sleep._

_They're allowing full use of zanpakutou in Seireitei again. Ya know what that means. Looks like it's gonna get worse before it gets better. It's quiet today and we're off for a rest, but all leave's been cancelled for the next couple weeks. If things get better, they'll lift the restriction, but I dunno if I'll be able to make it out for a while. Might be able to pull in a couple favours and trade patrols with some of the other Divisions. We'll see._

_Will write again when I know more._

_Ikkaku and Yumichika are here now. They say "hi". They also say my letters suck, after that bastard Ikkaku found this and read it out loud. Whatever. Ya never complained before, but they're pretty sure about it. They got all sorts of ideas how I should fix it – they're both drunk as hell, and I must be, too, to even consider it. Ya should hear some of the stuff they want me to write, though. Ridiculous. I'm writing a letter, not a damn sonnet. Plus ya already know these things, so why spell it out?_

_Yumichika says people need to say that stuff every now and then even if they already know it. Guess that's kinda true. But it doesn't do ya any good to read the words. Or does it? I dunno, I never got a love letter before, either – and can ya believe that's what Yumichika's calling this? Maybe we both just suck at writing letters. I don't think so, though. I like getting your letters. I wanna know what our friends are up to, and how your classes are going, and how Karin and Yuzu are doing, and what your father's latest crazy stunt was._

_Ikkaku says I should tell ya how much I miss ya, and how much I hate that I'm here alone. Ya already know that, don't ya? Well I do. Miss ya, I mean, and hate that I'm here alone. I hate sleeping alone. I hate not waking up with ya, and I hate not going to sleep with ya beside me in our bed._

_I read that over, and there's sure a lotta hate there. It's all true, I hate being away from ya, even though I know this is how it's gotta be for now. But if I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this right. This isn't supposed to be about hate, it's supposed to be about letting ya know what I'm feeling. Well I'm feeling like it's hard right now, but we got forever, and that's all that matters. That's what keeps me going when I wake up without ya beside me._

_Damn, I really miss ya._

_Renji_

_PS – They say I'm supposed to start with "Dear Ichigo" and end with "Love Renji"._

Ichigo read it twice to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He was flushed when he finally folded it up with shaking fingers and stowed it safely in an inner pocket.

"Ohh, was it good news?"

"Nothin' I didn't already know. Good to be told again, though." Ichigo cleared his throat. "Ready when you are, Urahara-san."

§

**_Omake_**  
_Chapter 6 omake_

HollowIchigo: _(cackles)_

Akuni: You cut that out! You promised you'd behave if we let you out.

Zangetsu: That might not have been wise…

Akuni: Eh?

Zangetsu: He's not exactly trustworthy, is he?

HollowIchigo: _(Hey!)_

Akuni: frowns Disobedience carries a heavy price.

Zangetsu: …

HollowIchigo: _(You don't scare me!))_

Akuni: No, but I know someone who might.

Isshin: Is it time for my cameo yet? Is it?!

HollowIchigo: _(Ahh!) (screams and flees)_

Isshin: (sobs) No one wants to play with meee!

Akuni: Aw, there there. (pats)


	7. Chapter 7 Reinforcement

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Reinforcement**

_"You gotta wait… I'm not done playin' with you yet."_

_It was torture – pure, delicious torture – as Ichigo moved over him. He knew damn well what he was doing, and he did it oh so well._

_Renji growled, closing his teeth around the soft flesh between neck and shoulder. His chest already heaved as he fought for breath; it wasn't easy with Ichigo crawling over him with those teasing touches that set every nerve tingling. _

_He wanted to feel those strong arms and legs clench around him as he buried himself deep inside his lover. He wanted desperately to thrust into that welcoming heat, again and again until they both saw stars._

_"You're killin' me!"_

_"I know… and you love every second of it."_

_"Ichigo…" he groaned desperately, shaking from head to toe._

_Ichigo straddled his lap, looking very satisfied with himself. His hair brushed Renji's cheek as he leaned in to lick the sensitive ear. "Take me," he demanded, wrapping himself around the trembling body beneath him._

_"Thought ya'd never ask," Renji gasped as he shifted and was quickly sheathed in bliss._

_"I wasn't askin'." His lover's voice was just as thick with need._

_It took all his willpower to move slowly, trying to hold off on giving the body around him what it was clamouring for._

_It was Ichigo's turn to groan._

_"When ya play with fire, sometimes ya get burned," Renji purred. "So how do ya want it?" _

_"Renji!" The look on Ichigo's face was inspirational, and he couldn't hold out any longer. They set a fast pace intended to quickly satisfy their mutual desire. But as soon as he recovered his breath, Renji vowed to do his best to make Ichigo feel the same exquisite torture – and he definitely wanted a taste of the euphoria painted across his lover's face, too._

_"Damn, I love when ya call my name."_

_"Renji!"_

_…_

"Renji!"

"Renji, wake up!"

He shot up and fell off the couch in his office. "… the hell?!"

Rukia peered down at him, her cheeks faintly pink. "You um… were dreaming, I think." She cleared her throat. "You said something about Ichigo."

Renji looked at her, horrified. That was a side of himself he never, ever intended to share with anyone but his lover.

"It's nearly time. To go. Train the recruits." She was looking anywhere but at him, giving him time to compose himself.

"I… right." He pulled himself off the floor, straightening his uniform and swinging his cloak around his shoulders as they headed to the practice ground.

§

The earnest gazes of the fresh-faced shinigami waiting for them in the training yard were more unnerving now than they had been in previous years.

"It's going to be another war, and they're not all going to be ready." Rukia surveyed the young shinigami waiting in the practice yard.

"Then we just do what we can t' make 'em as ready as we can." They shared a grim look. "Anyone who ain't ready for battle will be ready for support duty, an' we'll make it clear that we _need_ 'em t' do _that_ job." The side of his mouth turned up just a little. "Don't want another mouse turnin' out t' be a candidate for the 11th…"

§

_-4 years ago-_

"Rikichi… can you teach me to fight?" Hanatarou asked earnestly.

"I… me?" Rikichi looked around at the powerful fighters in the room. "I don't think I'm a good cho—" A large hand clapped him on the shoulder.

"Good choice, Hanatarou," Renji nodded approvingly. "Rikichi's a strong fighter, an' a good teacher." His voice dropped to a stage whisper. "Don't think I ain't noticed ya helpin' the recruits, Rikichi."

"Renji-san! Ahh…" Rikichi blushed and stammered as his idol praised him openly. "I… I'll do my best!" he bowed low.

"G'head an' get outta here, this meetin's gonna take all night, an' ya got a lot a' work t' do." He nodded toward the back door, grinning a little as the two short shinigami slipped out to begin training…

§

_-present-_

Renji was pleased with this latest batch. They were sincere in their efforts, and they'd learned their Academy lessons well.

_Now the real learnin' begins. Some of 'em won't make it through the first year, but most of 'em will. Got a good crew this time, and we sure's hell need 'em._

He gave each one his personal attention before calling a halt to the exercise. "Good work, recruits." They glowed under the praise. Many captains delegated training to the lieutenants, but Renji felt it was important to cultivate some kind of working relationship with everyone in his Division from the start. He respected Kuchiki Byakuya, but he didn't approve of the man's cool demeanour when they first began serving together. Granted, the Kuchiki heir had changed a bit in the years since, but he was still rather withdrawn from all but his most senior officers.

"All a' ya did great in the basic spar." They preened even more at this, and Renji didn't bother to hide his smirk. "Now let's see how ya make out with somethin' a li'l more advanced." The smiles fell off their faces as he stepped back and ran his hand down his zanpakutou.

"_Hoeru, Zabimaru!_" He nearly laughed at the dismayed expressions as they goggled at the extended blade.

"Alright, who's first?" he grinned.

§

"You're on your own from here." The 9th Division captain stopped outside the 5th Division headquarters.

"Thanks for this, Shuuhei," Ichigo grinned. "I owe ya one. Rukia, too."

"Just glad to have you back in the fight." Shuuhei clapped him on the shoulder. "And back in town. Party's at your place tomorrow."

"Sure thing." A tingle ran up Ichigo's back at that thought. _My place. _Our_ place._ He gripped the letter in his pocket, and took a breath. Ichigo concentrated very hard on making sure his reiatsu was still locked down before he leaped and snuck quietly over the rooftops.

§

A short, stocky youth was the first to take up his new captain's challenge. Renji made note of the first to brave his blade, as he always did. The first ones came in two flavours – the kind who swaggered and wanted to test their captain, and the kind who faced down their fear and wanted to test themselves.

This would be the latter. Renji looked over the youth approvingly; he was nervous, but he'd taken firm hold of his fear and was standing ready.

Renji struck out without warning. The young shinigami was startled but managed to dodge just in time.

"Excellent reflexes," Renji complimented him. "Landin' was a li'l sloppy, though. Work on that."

"Yes, Taichou." Renji noted with approval that the recruit hadn't relaxed his stance, and was still eyeing him expectantly.

He lashed out again, and sure enough the young shinigami dodged in the exact same manner. Faster than most of the others could follow, Renji whipped Zabimaru around to catch the recruit's blade and yank it out of his hands.

"Reflexes still very good, but ya need t' be more spontaneous. Don't use the same move too many times, or your opponent'll anticipate ya like I just did." He handed the recruit his sword.

"I will, thank you, Abarai-taichou," the recruit bowed and stepped back into line.

Renji looked at the startled faces and resisted the urge to snort. _Good batch, but still awfully green._

"Now I know a lot a' other captains keep this sorta thing a secret, but I don't believe in keepin' secrets from my crew. We fight together, so we ought ta know what we can do together." He flashed toward the other end of the yard to give himself room.

Renji raised Zabimaru and focused intently.

"_BANKAI!_"

§

Ichigo felt the blast of power and saw the ripple of energy. _Bankai, huh? Must still be training the new ones._ He approved of Renji's training methods, and his insistence on displaying his skills openly to his Division. A team couldn't fight properly together if they didn't know each others' abilities.

Another hop put Ichigo right over the training yard. He peered down, an idea slowly forming in his head.

§

"_Hihiou Zabimaru._" The faces were awed now, taking in the awesome sight of the skeletal snake.

"You…you don't want _us_ to fight _that_, Taichou?"

Renji laughed. "Nope. I'm still learnin' how t' fight properly with it." He looked at the creature curiously as it screamed for no apparent reason. "Takes a lotta years t' get it right. I only practice with people I know won't get hurt when I make a mistake."

"Aww." They looked disappointed.

"Guess I'll do it, then."

Renji's head snapped around, eyes wide in shock even as the familiar figure landed lightly in the yard.

"_BANKAI!"_

A cloud of dust rose with the swell of power, engulfing the orange-haired man in the shinigami uniform. Renji's heart was hammering in his chest as the aura washed over him, unmasked now after the moment of surprise. _How'n the hell did he sneak up on me?!_

When the dust settled, Ichigo stood there imposingly. "_Tensa Zangetsu,_" he intoned. Then he dropped the pose and grinned. "Renji, you can't show 'em somethin' that cool and not let 'em see what it can do." Ichigo waved a hand toward the monstrous figure rearing overhead. It screamed again, and Renji would've sworn it was a _welcome_.

"_Ichigo!_" He wondered how no one could hear his thudding heartbeats._ What is he doin' here?_

Excited whispers broke out. "Ichigo?" "_Kurosaki_ Ichigo?" "The shinigami from the living world?!" He heard Rukia ordering the recruits to stay well out of the way.

Renji took firm control of his emotions. "Yeah, that's him." He lowered his voice so the recruits couldn't hear. "Yanno they got a whole class at the Academy devoted t' the war – includin' an entire section on _you_."

"They do?"

Renji nodded and grinned, then raised his voice. "So ya ready t' get your fancy coat torn up an' show these recruits some real fightin'?"

Ichigo's response was to vanish. _At least, that's all _they_ can see._ Renji chuckled to himself as he spun Zabimaru in a defensive whirlwind around him. He heard the crack as Ichigo's blade struck a bony segment zipping in front of his knees.

_You're fast, but I see ya._ Renji broke out of the defensive pose, flashing far off to one side as Zabimaru roared around to strike at Ichigo from the other. But Ichigo wasn't there, and the great fangs skimmed the ground before the creature reared back into position.

"Too slow!" Ichigo taunted as he flashed away again.

"All that speed an' ya still missed me, Ichigo," he called back. Suddenly Ichigo's voice was _right_ in his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. "Fast enough, in my fancy coat that you like so much."

"Hah!" Sparks flew as a tail segment slid into place to block the strike from behind. "Nice try, but that ain't gonna work—_oof!_" He'd blocked the sword but couldn't avoid the foot to the back of the knee before Ichigo sped off.

Renji focused; he picked up the faint jingle of chain just in time, narrowly dodging a strike that still left a thin slice down his arm. He followed the sound immediately, and launched Zabimaru in the opposite direction.

Ichigo cursed, swerving wildly to avoid tripping over the giant body that was suddenly blocking his intended path. Renji was ready to take advantage of the opening. "Gotcha!" Zabimaru undulated, catching the substitute shinigami a sharp blow just before he flashed away.

Blows having been exchanged, they both sensed the exercise was over. Renji returned Zabimaru to a state of coiled readiness as Ichigo came to a halt.

"Good trick… damn thing's gettin' stronger." Ichigo met the skeletal grin with one of his own as he rubbed his shoulder. The orange-haired shinigami seemed to shimmer in the late afternoon sunlight as he let his bankai fade, his uniform and zanpakutou returning to their normal state.

"His head's big enough, don't waste compliments on this punk," Renji jerked a thumb toward the serpent swaying lazily in the sky. "We're done now, Zabimaru. Thanks." The creature roared before dissipating. Renji sheathed the sealed katana.

"Still can't believe you talk to him that way." Ichigo shook his head wonderingly. "Zangetsu would skin me."

"Hah – should hear the shit _he_ says t' _me!_ Mouthy bastard, loves a good argument."

"Wonder what that says about _you?_"

"Probably better not t' think 'bout it," Renji laughed, inspecting the slice on his arm as they walked back to the wide-eyed line of recruits. "I go through more damn uniforms when you're here…"

Renji stopped in front of the fascinated young shinigami. "Ya understand now why bankai takes years t' learn? An' why ya might not want t' use it every time?" He scanned the attentive faces – some looked pensive, but some still looked puzzled.

"Ya saw how Kurosaki-dono got right under my guard? An' ya saw how I caught him?" Most of them nodded. _Well the rest'll just have t' work a li'l harder t' catch up._

He pointed at Ichigo. "I've been fightin' him for years. With him an' against him – ya all know the story. Point is, we still ain't got it perfect. We make mistakes, an' accidents happen." The young shinigami began nodding thoughtfully.

"Sometimes ya need all that power. But sometimes ya need a li'l finesse more. Teamwork's important, but ya can't relax an' rely on havin' someone there t' back ya up – ya gotta know where your own limits are." Renji looked at them intently. "It's all about _control_. Which brings ya t' the next exercise."

Some of the recruits looked surprised when Rukia stepped forward. "Kuchiki-fukutaichou's better'n me at this part," he told them.

"Do you need to take Kurosaki-dono to get settled? I can finish up for the day with the kidou," Rukia suggested.

"Actually I do need to check in with Kira-taichou. He already knows I was comin' in today, but I should see him," Ichigo agreed.

"Good idea, Rukia. Unohana-taichou'll need t' know, too – before Zaraki-taichou finds out." Renji chuckled. "Wonder how long that'll take, after that bankai?" Ichigo groaned – clearly he hadn't thought of that.

They made their farewells and Rukia began her inspection of the recruits' kidou abilities. They heard her chanting reach its peak as they left the yard. "_Shakkahou!_" There was a terrific explosion; the assembled shinigami barely had time to let out an amazed "ooh" before she began another chant.

They were very careful not to get too close physically or spiritually as they headed for the offices of the 3rd Division – the air practically crackled between them after the brief workout, and they didn't dare light that spark until they were alone.

"What're ya doin' back?" Renji chanced the question, keeping his voice steady by sheer force of will.

"I'm needed here," Ichigo replied. "This's more important than anything else right now."

The trips to the 3rd and 4th Division offices were mercifully quick. Kira simply handed Ichigo a patrol schedule, smiling just a little as Ichigo noted that he wasn't on duty until the day after tomorrow. Unohana took one look at Renji's torn sleeve and told them to please let her know when their next training session would be before sending them on their way.

§

It took all of his strength to hold his reiatsu in check as they headed to the quarters they would once again share. Now that he was established back in Soul Society, Ichigo was nearly trembling from relief of the nervous tension that had been gripping him since the moment he'd left. He recognized the phenomenon as the same one that had driven Renji into the living world to seek him out after the tragedy in Rukongai in the summer. Their impromptu sparring had only heightened his anticipation.

As soon as the door slid shut behind them, Ichigo spun; he grabbed a double handful of Renji's robes and pushed his lover's shoulders to the wall. Their reiatsu bonded in a flash, sending the energy level in the room soaring.

Renji's hands were on his face, pulling insistently as Ichigo pressed him against the wall with his entire body. Hot mouths met hungrily, tongues delving to taste each other desperately. Matching groans sharpened the edges of their lust when Ichigo's knee pressed between his lover's thighs.

Ichigo pulled away to catch his breath. "Missed you so damn much." He couldn't keep the stupid smile off his face.

Renji grinned back. "Welcome home."

They tore at each others' clothes impatiently, zanpakutou skidding across the floor to rest together in a corner. Renji swore at the knot in Ichigo's sash, cursing his fumbling fingers until Ichigo simply tore it off.

Uniforms fell in a pile at their feet; Ichigo fastened their lips together again as he pulled his lover toward the futon. He hooked his foot around Renji's ankle and sent them both tumbling down.

"I needed to be here." Ichigo was unable to stop the words that fell from his lips between every bite as he marked a path down Renji's chest with his teeth. He looked up into his lover's rapidly-glazing eyes as his lips reached their goal.

"I know… s'where ya belong right now. 'Specially if you're gonna keep doin' _that—_"

A few rapid flicks of his tongue as he slid up and down pulled a throaty moan from the shinigami lying beneath him.

A foot nudged his side. "Swing 'round."

Ichigo complied, enjoying the tremor that ran down his body as Renji began copying his movements. Each stroke, each suck, each nibble was mirrored, and the response echoed in their energies.

They didn't do this very often; it required a certain level of concentration and detachment that was difficult to achieve when they were bonded so tightly, each physical sensation translating into spiritual feedback in their combined reiatsu.

Those echoes made the experience that much more intense – it wasn't long before they were both straining for release.

Ichigo felt the hard flesh pulse in his mouth even as the swell of pleasure peaked and spiralled out to engulf him as well. It was an effort to resist the instinct to cry out, allowing only deep moans that vibrated in their throats.

Ichigo raised his head at last. He paused for a moment to swallow and catch his breath, bringing his trembling limbs back under control; he could hear and feel Renji doing the same. He followed the tug that turned him around again, on hands and knees above his lover's flushed body. Renji's mouth latched onto his, his eager tongue licking and demanding entrance.

"I love the way we taste together." Renji's murmurs against Ichigo's lips sent his passion back into overdrive.

"Mmm." Ichigo's assent was muffled.

Time was meaningless as they moved over each other, encouraging the fire between them to burn even hotter, rousing their bodies once more.

One long arm reached out to grab a small bottle off a low shelf. Renji spilled some of the contents into his palm, his slick hands quickly coating Ichigo expertly.

Ichigo pressed another kiss against Renji's reddened lips before turning him over on his knees and moving to reclaim what was his. He slid inside, marvelling as he did each time at the impossible heat and tightness of this embrace that drowned all his senses in pleasure.

Each thrust was hard and fast, each desperate groan echoed by a gasp of pleasure. He shifted his angle just so, drawing a lust-filled cry and a choked exclamation.

"Sonuva… do that again!" Renji rocked back against him sharply, driving him on. Ichigo grasped his lover's shoulder, snaking one hand around to stroke in time with every roll of his hips. The shared sense of urgency brought them to another swift conclusion, sweat-slicked bodies shuddering together.

Short, panting breaths filled the air. In a daze, Ichigo tugged gently on Renji's ponytail until the shinigami straightened up on his knees; Ichigo wrapped his arms around Renji's waist and held him tightly from behind, pressing his lips against the familiar tattooed patterns.

Renji shifted to face him; strong arms wound around Ichigo and drew him down into the soft blankets, pushing the sticky top sheet to the side. Ichigo relaxed into Renji's embrace, still reeling from the intensity of the encounter. The nervous energy was gone, and he felt only the satisfaction and thrill of being in his lover's arms.

As usual, sleep claimed them both for a brief time after… and as usual, the short nap was nothing more than an intermission.

"Damn, that was a good start," Renji ran his fingers over Ichigo's side, grinning at the shiver that ran down his lover's spine. "Ready for round two?" Tattooed eyebrows quirked upward.

Ichigo grinned back. "Hell yeah." He reached for the little bottle as Renji pulled him up onto his knees.

This was another tradition that required no further explanation.

§

Renji woke early the next morning, despite having the day off. His body was getting used to less sleep after all the emergency alerts. He could definitely use more sleep after the previous night's activities, though. Renji didn't want either of them to have to suffer through the kinds of experiences that triggered these reactions, but he had to admit that it had been, as Ichigo had said as he collapsed breathlessly under Renji's enveloping form, a 'wild ride'.

_We're both gonna be sore as hell this mornin'. Good thing we ain't on duty._ He stretched, pulling the knots out of his muscles as he peered out the window aimlessly. _Wonder what'll happen today. Hope it's quiet, or we'll never be able t' rest._

Behind him, Ichigo shifted and sat up, blinking in the low light. "Renji?"

"Yeah?"

"What're you doin' up? 'S our day off," Ichigo mumbled.

"Too used t' gettin' up lately. Forgot what sleepin' late was like." Renji stretched again. "I dunno why I got up though, with you all warm over there in our bed."

"Oh, while you're up, Yuzu sent ya somethin'. 'S in my bag." Ichigo nodded toward the knapsack abandoned next to the door.

"What is it?" Renji fished around and pulled out a brightly wrapped package.

"I guess you could call it breakfast." Ichigo's laugh at Renji's eager expression turned into a yawn.

"Damn, ya got great sisters, Ichi," Renji mumbled through a mouthful of his favourite snack. "Yu-chan's taiyaki is outta this world."

Ichigo raised his eyebrows. "Well, yeah, actually, it is," he smirked.

Renji groaned. "That's just…"

Ichigo settled back down under the blankets. "Had to be said. You look like the cat that caught the canary."

"Goldfish. Cat that caught the goldfish." Renji waved a half-eaten pastry at him.

Ichigo snickered tiredly. "Come back to bed," he invited, throwing back a corner of the blanket. "We both need more sleep, and I sleep better with you next to me."

"You got it." Renji tossed the rest of his breakfast on the table and slid back into bed. "Yep, this's definitely better'n gettin' up early."

Ichigo turned toward Renji, looping his arm around the shinigami's waist and burying his nose in the bright red hair. "Tha's better," he mumbled, his breath tickling Renji's ear. They lay quietly together, enjoying the stillness of the morning.

"Renji…"

"Hmm?"

"They're wrong, yanno… your letters don't suck."

"Ya… ya got that already?"

"Today… jus' before I left…" Ichigo was already half asleep again. "Never got a love letter before…"

"I…" Renji was at a total loss for words. His face burned, and he swallowed hard against his nervousness.

"…was nice… wanna write one back, but'm here now…"

"It wasn't very good… I'll try t' make 'em more interestin' next time," he offered.

"…don' change…love _all_ your letters… an'…" Ichigo trailed off into sleep, his words leaving Renji with a contented smile and a pounding heart.

_His bein' here is the best thing Soul Society coulda asked for, short a' everythin' goin' back t' the way it was before Aizen. Definitely the best thing _I_ coulda asked for._ Renji tightened his arms around his lover and let the warmth of their embrace and their bond lull him back to sleep.

§

_**Omake **_

**Note:** I really did have the flu when I wrote this. I was _very_ sick, and I had a lot of _very_ weird dreams… this was only one of them. Hope you enjoy this peek into my twisted, obsessed subconscious, lol!

_Chapter 7 omake_

Akuni: (wanders in suffering from the flu)

Renji: …like a fuckin' horse! Both of us!

Akuni: O-O

Ichigo: Totally mind-blowing!

Renji: Hell yeah. Knew she had it in 'er!

Akuni: …

Ichigo: Good job! (kisses Akuni on the cheek)

Akuni: (blushes beet red)

Renji: Ya got that right. (throws an arm around Akuni)

Ichigo: Ah, go ahead Renji, yanno it's you she's in love with, and she's earned a little personal fanservice. (winks)

Renji: (grins mischievously)

Akuni: C'mon guys, don't tease me abo—_mmph!_

Ichigo: Hehehe!

Akuni: (thud)

Ichigo: Akuni? (peers down at the floor)

Renji: 'Kuni? (shakes her shoulder)

…

Renji: Um… oops? Heh. (sweatdrop)

Ichigo: Aw hell, now what do we do?

Renji: Well, yanno ya still owe that artist friend a' hers a visit. That shower piece was _hot_.

Ichigo: Ooh, you're right. Make sure she doesn't die on us, I'll be back in a few.

Renji: (hollers) Tell 'er I said thanks, an' I want a copy for my office!

-

Shelagh: (headdesking) So… much… work… I need a break.

Ichigo: And as if on cue…? (chuckles)

Shelagh: Ichigo! You know I'm _always_ glad to see you, but… I'm sorry, I'm totally swamped, I don't have time to start another pic just yet.

Ichigo: That's ok, I'm not here for a session. Just a visit.

Shelagh: Oh? (checks watch) Aren't you supposed to be with Renji at Akuni's place right now?

Ichigo: Yeah, small problem there… (rubs neck)

Shelagh: Why isn't Akuni writing? Did something happen?

Ichigo: You could say that. She passed out.

Shelagh: _What?_ She wasn't _that_ sick when I talked to her!

Ichigo: No no, nothin' like that. She um… heh… Renji kissed her, and she fainted.

Shelagh: …

Ichigo: My own fault really, I told him to go ahead and do it.

Shelagh: Why on earth would you do that? We both know you two are utterly devoted to each other.

Ichigo: Eh, was just one kiss. She earned it - you'll see why when you read the chapter.

Shelagh: If I ever get _time_. (gestures to work-laden table) Just look at all this! I might not see you guys again for a while. (forlorn expression)

Ichigo: About that… Gotta thank you again for the art. Renji especially likes the shower pic, yanno, he wanted me to tell you that. He had to stay with Akuni and make sure she didn't swallow her tongue or somethin'.

Shelagh: (smiles) Aw, you guys are sweet. You know I'm happy t—_mmph!_

Ichigo: Thanks. (grins) Er, wait a minute… did you say she was sick?

Shelagh: (thud)

Ichigo: Shit.

Renji: (flashes in) She's ok now, and— Eh? Her too? Damn, we're good! (laughs)

Ichigo: I didn't know Akuni was sick…

Renji: (sneezes) Well shit.

-elsewhere-

Akuni: Best… two seconds… of my life… (wobbles)

Akuni's husband: You realize it was all just a fever dream, right?

Akuni: Don't ruin my fantasies… (sobs)


	8. Chapter 8 Integrity

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,000ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Integrity**

They picked up where they'd left off when Ichigo returned briefly to the living world. Ichigo resumed his weekly sparring sessions with Zaraki, and once again led the extra training programs he'd initiated for the 3rd. Overall he seemed pleased with their progress, but some days Renji could tell it was a trial.

Renji checked the time; today's extra session should've been over more than an hour ago, but Ichigo was only now striding through the door and flinging himself onto the couch with a groan.

"Not goin' well?" Renji guessed, taking a seat beside the obviously frustrated man.

"Sometimes I wanna just kick 'em all in the ass." Ichigo scowled. "Some days they do really well, and some others… Why's it so impossible to get them to _listen?_"

"Ya know, ya might want t'—"

"I wasn't really askin', so don't tell me what to do!" the other man snapped, cutting him off.

Renji frowned. "Hey, I'm just tryin' t' help, here." _Gimme a chance, dammit, I know what—_ He shoved away the petty thought before Ichigo could pick up on it.

Ichigo sighed. "No, I know… I'm in a rotten mood." He offered a smile that Renji understood was an apology.

"S'ok," he rested a hand on his lover's shoulder. "They're stupid, an' you'll kick their asses a few times before they figure out it's better t' just do what they're told the first time."

Ichigo shook his head, "I hope so," he muttered, "otherwise they're gonna get killed."

§

Ichigo's patrol the next day encountered the most peculiar Hollow he'd ever seen. Some of the other shinigami in the Division eyed it uncertainly.

"What _is_ that thing?"

"Bad news for us," Kira's reply to the startled young shinigami was grim. "Ichigo, have you seen one of these yet?"

"Don't think so. What's it do? Breathe fire, throw lightning, split off miniature clones of itself?" Ichigo wasn't even a little bit sarcastic – they'd encountered Hollows that did all of those things and more on their 'routine' patrols.

"Worse. When those tentacles hit, they suck the target's energy, and then they throw it back at everyone else. If it hits _you_…" Kira grimaced, leaving the rest unsaid. "And you'll be drained for weeks."

"So definitely don't let it touch me, got it." Ichigo didn't want to think of the damage that could be done with that amount of spirit energy.

"Spread out!" Kira instructed the lower shinigami before turning back to Ichigo. "I'll try to slow those tentacles down. You're faster than I am even without your bankai, can you get behind it?"

"Gotta try." _No way in hell I wanna hafta use bankai or the Hollow around somethin' that can steal my spirit energy and use it against my comrades._

"_Omote o agero, Wabisuke!_"

Ichigo flashed to the other side, looking for an opening. There were tentacles everywhere – the thing resembled three giant octopi mashed together at odd angles, and had about as many waving limbs.

Kira and Wabisuke took out several of the dangerous appendages, but there were too many more ready to take their place. Junior officers hacked at them whenever they came near, but they couldn't muster enough power to cut through with one slice and had to fall back.

There was no time to cry a warning as one limb swung low across the ground. It struck Kira solidly, crushing him to the ground and siphoning his energy.

"Kira!" Ichigo leaped over and sheared off the reiatsu-sucking appendage, but the damage was done. A wave of force rolled over the squad members, throwing several into the air and sending the rest to their knees. Ichigo held his ground, picking up the fallen acting captain and hauling him out of harm's way.

"If you can't handle this fight then _stay out of it_ – it's ok if you can't keep up, and we don't need to be fighting your energy, too," Ichigo commanded. Most of the squad members fell back looking frightened, a few braver souls following his example and dragging fallen comrades back with them. _Finally, they're doin' what they're told._

The approach of new enemies tickled his awareness. Three new Hollows, coming in fast. He tried again, barking orders as he wove frantically through the maze of spinning tentacles. "Three more coming in from the North – Squad Two take the lead, Three and Four assist."

The Squad Two leader saluted acknowledgement, and the teams raced off.

_Fuck._ Ichigo flashed out of reach again. _I can't reach without gettin' hit. No offense, Zangetsu, but I'd give a lot right now if you could extend like Zabimaru. Got no choice now, they're all gonna die if I don't._

"The rest of you get back and protect the fallen… if I get hit, you gotta get the hell outta here because I dunno what it'll do with my energy."

"_BANKAI!_"

_"Tensa Zangetsu."_ Ichigo poured on the speed. He slipped through the limbs more easily this time. He ducked and dodged for nearly a minute before finding the mask buried in the middle and shattering it with a single powerful blow. The Hollow vanished with a shrill squeal that scraped a shiver down Ichigo's spine.

He focused; the three new Hollows were weakened, the teams were having no trouble dispatching them. Ichigo let his bankai fade and ran to check on the fallen Division members.

"Squad Five, please send a runner to the 4th and let 'em know we're comin' in with heavy casualties."

Ichigo surveyed the area; the shinigami crowded together, uncertain and confused. He quickly organized them into teams and they began carrying their injured comrades back to Seireitei.

He hefted Kira over his shoulder. _Wait 'til the captains hear about this. It ain't gonna be pretty._ Ichigo fought to contain the anger rising from his gut as he pictured the reaction the rest of the Gotei 13 would have to this disaster. _It's their own damn fault this Division is crumbling…_

§

Renji was hard at work when a familiar feeling tickled his senses, distracting him from the papers scattered across his desk. He concentrated, trying to pinpoint the source. The flare of energy that erupted brought his head up sharply – he sensed a surge of reiatsu that he, better than anyone, knew belonged to Ichigo.

_That's Ichigo… but he's supposed t' be on patrol with Kira an' the 3rd for another two hours._

He focused in on the sudden surge of energy, leaning back in surprise when he felt its angry edge.

…_the fuck is goin' on?!_ He tried to analyze the blazing power but the sensations were nearly overwhelming.

A loud crash from the outer room pulled him to his feet before he could think; war-time reflexes had Zabimaru already extended with a mental bark.

_What'n hell was that?!_

"I need to see Abarai-taichou right now, it's an emergency, dammit!" The urgency and authority in Rikichi's voice got Renji's immediate attention.

Rikichi fell into the room as Renji yanked the door open. "Renji!"

"Someone better tell me what the hell is goin' on, right now." He didn't like the way things were adding up – Rikichi's anxiety plus the furious swell of reiatsu equalled trouble.

"It's Ichigo," Rikichi panted. "He's… he's lost it. The 3rd got hit bad, and Kira-taichou-dairi's down. Ichigo's hollering at everyone, even Zaraki-taichou, and his spirit pressure's gone crazy! No one knows what to do."

Ice flooded Renji's veins. _Did he lose control a' his Hollow?__Injuries… insane spirit pressure… hollerin' at Zaraki-taichou… shit!_

He checked himself firmly. "Go find Kuchiki-fukutaichou," he ordered a startled squad member. "Tell her I've gone ahead, she'll know what t' do." The shinigami sketched a quick salute before he flashed away.

"Let's go." He didn't need Rikichi's guidance; the angry beacon of power drew him like a moth to a flame.

§

Ichigo was still in full voice when they arrived at the scene – they heard his angry yells before they saw him.

"You're all a bunch of hypocrites, an' I'm fuckin' _sick_ of it!"

_What the hell happened out there today?_ Renji was surprised by the tone and language.

"If you fuckin' idiots would stop t' think for _two seconds_, ya might remember there's another _war_ brewin' here, an' we _can't afford_ t' be fightin' ourselves!"

One more flash step brought them to the edge of the commotion. At the centre, Ichigo stood alone, glowing brightly as his reiatsu flared; shinigami all around from every division trembled on the ground from the immense spirit pressure he exuded.

And then Renji picked up on something very interesting. He noticed immediately that Ichigo's reiatsu was under perfect control, and it was very clearly _Ichigo's_ control, not the Hollow. Scanning the crowd of shinigami, he spotted Zaraki Kenpachi calmly observing the spectacle, and while everyone else was quaking where they stood, Zaraki merely looked… expectant? Renji's eyes narrowed as he peered more closely at the furious substitute shinigami and his former captain.

"We're dangerously under strength, an' ya just _dismiss_ an entire Division like it ain't there, 'cause ya don't understand an' ya don't wanna," Ichigo roared, pointing Zangetsu at the crowd.

"Renji…" Rikichi wobbled as he stood, but he was still standing. "He sounds kinda like you."

Renji blinked. Rikichi was right.

"I've had enough a' this _shit!_"

"Yes, Kurosaki Ichigo, I think that is _quite_ enough."

Renji flashed through the crowd, recognizing the voice from the first word. One quick step brought him next to Ichigo. "Ichigo, what—"

"Abarai-taichou, stand down." The Commander-General of the Gotei 13 cut him off. Yamamoto and his lieutenant stood easily in the midst of the roiling reiatsu.

Renji frowned; he sealed and sheathed his zanpakutou but stood his ground.

"Control yourself, please, Kurosaki-dono."

Ichigo rested Zangetsu on the back of his neck and faced Yamamoto squarely. The incredible spirit force lessened. "Yamamoto-sou-taichou," he said. His tone was just within the bounds of civility, Renji noted.

"What is the meaning of this display?"

"Education," Ichigo replied. "A lesson in manners."

"It looks like you could use a lesson in manners yourself, young man," Yamamoto's reprimand was stern.

"Yeah well at least I'm not wastin' lives by holdin' on to an ancient grudge!" Renji felt Ichigo's real temper rising underneath the calm façade he now projected.

"You have a problem with the way we do things in Soul Society?" The old man sounded curiously neutral for someone who was being goaded.

"Damn right I do!" Ichigo didn't bother hiding the contempt in his voice. The shameful behaviour expressed toward the struggling 3rd Division clearly infuriated him.

"You're very good at righteous indignation, but how far will that get you?"

"Huh?"

"You think you can do better? Fine, let's see you try. You're hereby granted the rank of Acting Captain of the 3rd Division for the duration of Kira-taichou-dairi's incapacity."

§

Ichigo stared. _He wants me to… run the Division? Is this some kinda joke?_

"Kurosaki-taichou-dairi, report to me after you've seen Unohana-taichou." With that, Yamamoto and his lieutenant simply vanished.

_Guess not._

"Ichigo, what'n hell happened out there?" Renji's voice was pitched low enough that no one around them could overhear – not that anyone was still within even ten metres of the confrontation.

"It's a long story," Ichigo sighed, then straightened. "And apparently I have a Division to run now, so…"

"I know how it is. Go – see t' your people." Ichigo clearly felt the edge of the pride that Renji was struggling to suppress in front of the crowd, and it eased a bit of the tension from his shoulders.

Ichigo managed a smile. "I'll tell ya all about it at home tonight. Maybe you can help me figure out what kinda game Yamamoto is playin', 'cause I sure's hell don't have the first clue."

§

When Ichigo left, presumably to check on his people – _his people!_ Renji gloated silently – in the 4th, the crowd began to disperse. A tinkle of bells reminded him that he needed to have a few words with his former captain. He told Rikichi to return to headquarters without him before approaching Zaraki.

"Zaraki-taichou," Renji began cautiously. "Can I talk to ya before ya go?"

"Eh Abarai, whatcha want?"

"Want your opinion on this li'l display, captain t' captain, so t' speak."

Zaraki's rough laugh sent the last remaining shinigami in the vicinity running. "Think it's 'bout damn time, yeah."

He wasn't exactly surprised. "Huh."

"Don' play dumb with me," Zaraki chuckled again. "I know whatcha think of the situation. I know you'n Hisagi'n Kira go way back, hehe."

"It's more'n feelin' bad 'cause an ol' school friend's in a tight spot," Renji declared. "An' I think you know it, too. Ain't right."

"Nope, it ain't right at all."

"Then why'd ya not say anythin' all this time? Hard enough watchin' it, but knowin' nothin' ya say's gonna matter 'cause you're too new t' the job..." Renji ground his teeth.

Zaraki gave him a look. "Yer bein' dumb again, Abarai. Think fer a second, will ya? Who's gonna listen ta 'that fight-crazed Kenpachi', hey?" Zaraki grinned widely at this. "No good comin' from me – I'm crazy. No good comin' from you or Hisagi – yer old pals, and like ya said yer still new. But Ichigo, now… an outsider… someone who ain't got nothin' ta win or lose by speakin' his mind. Someone who ain't got an ulterior motive. Someone who just calls 'em like he sees 'em, who's got a reputation strong enough ta make an impression, ya see?"

Renji did see. "Yeah, I gotcha. All ya can do is stand an' lend your support, that it?" _Who woulda thought Zaraki-taichou woulda thought it through that far?_

"'Bout that, yeah."

Another voice popped into the conversation. "Yeah, Ken-chan helps Icchy!" The pink-haired lieutenant appeared out of nowhere, perching happily on Zaraki's shoulder.

"Yachiru, where ya been, hey?"

"Went with Braid-Lady to see Sad-Eyes. He's gonna sleep for a while, 'cause the tentacle monster got him," Yachiru said seriously.

_Tentacle monster?_ Renji did his best to keep a straight face. "Ah, thanks, Zaraki-taichou. I gotta get back t' work now. See ya, Yachiru." Zaraki just grunted and turned to walk away.

"'Kay! Bye bye, Spiky-Hair!" Yachiru chirped. "Make sure you ask Icchy 'bout his tentacle monster so it doesn't get you, too!"

Renji bit his cheek and flashed away just in time.

§

Renji had an idea of what to expect when Ichigo arrived home late that evening. He'd been on the receiving end of a few upheavals in his time, and he knew that as soon as Ichigo stopped moving and had time to think about what had happened that day, he was going to be in a shock, to say the least.

He felt his lover's approach long before the door opened. Ichigo walked in with an empty sort of expression on his face; he was already wearing the sash, Renji noted. _That'd be Yamamoto-sou-taichou's doin'._

"Well, I see they got ya tied up already, _Kurosaki-taichou-dairi_," Renji teased.

"Huh? Oh…" Ichigo blinked, and smiled a bit as he took in his surroundings. "Yeah, Yamamoto insisted." He rested Zangetsu against the wall, then pulled the acting captain's sash off and tossed it over Renji's cloak on the back of a chair. Renji waited for him to do or say something else, but Ichigo just stood there still looking a bit distracted. His reiatsu had an anxious edge to it, which filtered down through their link.

_Guess it's up t' me._ "How's Kira?"

"Oh… Two broken ribs, a lotta bruises. Unohana-taichou fixed those, though." Ichigo gave Renji another of those odd half smiles. "Can't do anythin' 'bout the energy loss, though. It'll take a few weeks. I gotta…"

"Ichigo," Renji made his tone as calm and neutral as he knew how. "Why don't ya sit down?" he gestured to a spot beside him on the couch.

"Oh." Ichigo blinked a few more times and finally looked _at_ Renji instead of halfway through him. "Guess I'm still a little surprised by all this," he admitted with a small laugh as he sat close.

"Uh huh." Renji put an arm around his lover's stiff shoulders and pulled him against the back of the couch. "What happened with Yamamoto-sou-taichou?"

Ichigo relaxed just enough to lean into the embrace. "Nothin' really. Just had to sign somethin', and he made me put that thing on right away. Spent most of the day talkin' with the 3rd Division officers. _My_ officers," he shook his head. "For now, anyway."

"Did Unohana-taichou say how long Kira'd be out?"

"Three weeks at least, probably more," Ichigo replied tiredly. "I won't even know everythin' I need to know by then."

"Ya don't need t' know anythin' more'n ya already do, really," Renji assured him as he quietly slipped his legs around Ichigo's, resting a foot on his lover's ankle. "Those officers a' yours can help ya figure out the paperwork, an' you're damn good at leadin' people. That's really the most important part."

"It is, huh?" Ichigo stiffened and sat up. "Easy for you to say," he grumbled.

"Hey, who's been wearin' the cloak for the past few years, here?" Renji appreciated that Ichigo was having a tough time, but he didn't feel like being a punching bag. "I told ya, I'm just tryin' t' help, 'cause I _do_ know a li'l about it. You can stop takin' it out on me anytime now."

"I know… sorry, I'll just—" Ichigo tried to wriggle out of the embrace.

"Get back here, don't be stupid" Renji eased back into the corner of the couch, taking Ichigo with him. "Don't worry 'bout the job, ya know ya got what it takes." _Without even tryin', he's already as good as anyone, an' better'n a lot – better'n me. How can he think he ain't good enough?_ He admired his partner's abilities, but something about that thought nagged him uncomfortably; he shook it off and continued. "I remember a loud-mouthed substitute shinigami who actually _broke in_ t' Seireitei an' challenged the whole damn place. Took on everyone, captains included, leadin' a team a' fighters greener'n any first year Academy student."

Ichigo chuckled. "We got lucky a lot," he admitted. "Renji, if Hanatarou hadn't been there to patch me up after _our_ fight, I'd've been a goner."

"Yeah, an' if Kira hadn't found me right after, I woulda been just as dead beside ya," Renji acknowledged easily. "But that's the point. Ya knew how t' get the best from your team. _Our_ team was number one in the war for a lotta reasons, but mostly because we knew how t' work together. That's what _you_ can give t' your Division. You've already been doin' it, now it's just more direct."

Ichigo rested his head on Renji's chest. "We were a _great_ team," he agreed, reaching to link their fingers together. The tension had gone out of his frame, and his energy had lost its edge, wrapping around them comfortably.

"Still _are_." Renji drew their clasped hands up against his chest and stretched out their curled legs together on the couch. "Ichigo, there's somethin' I gotta ask ya 'bout your li'l speech earlier. You were talkin' a bit different…"

"Ah, that." Ichigo shifted a bit, settling his weight comfortably between Renji's legs. "So ya noticed that, did ya? What'd ya think a' my impression? Got ya pretty close, ne Renji?" his voice was pitched lower in imitation.

Renji laughed quietly as he smoothed a hand over the bright orange hair. "Rikichi noticed, actually. _I_ was too busy watchin' Zaraki-taichou watchin' _you_ as ya bitched out half a' Soul Society. He agreed 'it's 'bout damn time' somethin' was done." He filled Ichigo in on the details of his conversation with the 11th Division captain.

"Huh," Ichigo was silent for a long while. The calm in their energies made Renji think for a moment that his lover had fallen asleep before Ichigo continued. "When I thought about what the captains were gonna say 'bout our Division gettin' hit so hard, I was pissed off. Good thing we weren't closer; by the time we got back I'd cooled down some. The words comin' out that way… just sorta made sense, yanno? Got their attention." His soft laugh vibrated against Renji's chest.

"Glad I could help," Renji leaned down and brushed his lips over Ichigo's. "Use me anytime ya feel the need, Ichigo."

They fell silent, enjoying the quiet and closeness for a while before Renji remembered something else.

"What was up with that 'tentacle monster' Yachiru was goin' on about, anyway?" he asked.

Soft breathing was the only response.

"Ichigo?" Renji concentrated again on the soothing reiatsu swirling around them, and smiled.

Ichigo had fallen asleep.

Renji remained awake for a while longer, wondering how someone so gifted could ever be uncertain. _Don't he know there's only a handful a' people in Seireitei that could take him down if he was really determined not t' fall? Can't imagine what he'll be like centuries – even decades from now…_

§

**_Omake_**  
_Chapter 8 omake_

Renji: Damn Ichi, ya nearly went Akira on all those punks, that was great!

Akuni: … 'Ichi'?

Renji: Uh… pretend ya didn't hear that.

Ichigo: Hey, I knew what I was doin' the whole time.

Renji: Betcha didn't expect t' get a captaincy for it.

Ichigo: Hell no. When that fiery old guy showed up, for a split second I wondered how fast I could get to the Shiba place and whether they'd open a portal for me before I got chucked in prison for insubordination or somethin'…

Renji: Right behind ya, lover… he's freakin' scary.

Akuni: _Temporary_ captaincy, guys… (blinks) 'Lover'?

Renji: Whatever. Shaddap. (flushes) He's a captain now, same's me!

Akuni: Not quite the same, but…

Ichigo: You're takin' some of the fun outta this, yanno.

ChibiAkuni: Sorry.

Ichigo: How do you know about Akira, anyway?

Renji: Er…

Ichigo: You've been giving him manga again, haven't you?

Akuni: Ehh… (sweatdrops)

Ichigo: And what was with that 'tentacle monster' anyway? Did ya really hafta put _tentacles_ in?

Renji: I dunno, I thought that was kinda funny.

Akuni: Well, I mean… tentacles! C'mon!

Ichigo: You don't think it's kinda… I dunno, tacky maybe?

Akuni: Hmph. Just tryin' to have a little fun here.

Renji: She didn't _really_ 'tentacle' anyone, though.

Kira: (is unconscious)

Renji: Ok not in a really bad way.

Kira: (is unconscious and badly injured)

Renji: Ok not in a _perverted_ way… uh, right? Do I even wanna know this?

Akuni: Well _I_ didn't write anything like that in.

Renji: Phew, good.

Ichigo: I can't believe you two are havin' this conversation…

Kira: (is still unconscious and injured)


	9. Chapter 9 Discord

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Discord**

Ichigo surveyed the formation of the shinigami under his command._ Good enough for now. They're a lot better._

This was his fifth time leading a patrol as acting captain of the 3rd Division. It didn't feel so strange anymore. _Renji was right, of course. I've led people before. This's just a bit more formal's all._

"Kurosaki-taichou-dairi, two new Hollow presences to the North," a scout reported.

Ichigo nodded; with his new position, he'd stopped fighting the formality. "Squads Three and Four to the North with me. Squads One and Two finish up here." He already knew about the new enemy threat, but he was determined to see the shinigami under his command learn to use their abilities to the fullest, and hopefully find a little confidence along the way.

Confidence had been in short supply in the 3rd Division lately. Much of the improvement they'd made had diminished with the brutal beating they'd taken in the fight that put Kira out of commission for weeks.

The scout led Squads Three and Four directly to the Hollows in the North. Ichigo watched his forces deploy and destroy the Hollows efficiently, with only a few words from him.

"Good work, everyone. Need to work on formation still, but other'n that this went very smoothly." Ichigo made sure to hand out compliments and criticisms where they'd have the best effect. A chorus of "Yes, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi" and "Thank you, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi" answered him as the shinigami accepted both comments eagerly.

They cleared the area and quickly rejoined the rest of the Division. Ichigo made it a point to hear the final reports before authorizing any return to Seireitei, as was his habit.

"Hollows dispatched, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi. The area is clear," the leader of Squad One informed him.

"Casualties?" he asked.

"None!" The squad leader beamed. "Only minor scratches, already on the mend."

Ichigo looked over his forces with approval. "Time to go home, people. We did good work today."

_Now if they can just keep this up, by the time Kira gets back we'll have a strong Division even Kuchiki Byakuya could be proud of._

He just hoped that wasn't too much to ask for…

§

Ichigo dodged the serrated blade, looking for the opening he suspected would be right…_there!_ He pivoted and swung his foot, catching Renji off balance and sending him flying.

_Twice in a row… that was too easy, we're getting sloppy._ They'd been fitting in extra training whenever they could, constantly challenging each other to improve.

"Yanno we've been doin' a lotta sword work lately," Ichigo offered. "Maybe we should brush up on hakuda."

"What's that supposed t' mean?" Renji stared at him from the ground.

Ichigo was taken aback by the suspicion in his partner's tone. "Er, nothin', just sayin' we could use some practice is all."

The shinigami sat up quickly. "Been doin' this a long time, don't tell me how t' fight!"

"I'm not!" Ichigo retorted, his temper flaring in response to the testy words and the angry energy rising.

"You _are!_ What, am I deaf now, too?" Renji snapped sullenly.

"What the hell are you so pissed about?" Ichigo's voice rose to match. He knew Renji had a temper even shorter than his own, but it had been years since they'd had a serious fight, not since before the war – it was hard to be truly angry with someone after fighting together for each others' lives, and their arguments were mostly stupid and fizzled out quickly. _I got no clue where this is comin' from, but I'll be damned if I sit here and take it!_

Renji glared. "This is my _life!_ Been doin' this since before ya were thought of, I don't need a part-time substitute shinigami tellin' me how t' train, even if he is Seireitei's favourite hero."

Hurt slammed into his gut like a cold fist. _Is that what you really think?_

Ichigo ground his teeth. "I dunno what your problem is, but this 'part-time substitute shinigami' has another training session to give his Division, so they don't get killed when I lead them out on our extra patrols. Yanno, the ones we make because of the crisis going on – the crisis I dropped _my_ short, insignificant life to help with." He grabbed Zangetsu and stalked toward the exit, seething with upset anger. "You know where to find me when you're done bein' an ass."

"Ichigo, wait… I—"

He didn't want to hear it – he flashed away.

§

"—didn't mean that."

_Brilliant. Just fuckin' brilliant._ Renji flung his arm over his eyes as he fell back in the dirt. _Take your mood out on the one person… fuck! Stupid stray, I need a muzzle._

Ever since Ichigo had been promoted, he'd felt increasingly uncomfortable at the distance he saw in their abilities. Most of Soul Society had nothing but praise for Ichigo. Renji was proud of his partner, prouder than he could ever possibly say, but it was hard living in another man's shadow. And he'd done enough of that as Kuchiki Byakuya's lieutenant to know he never wanted to do it again.

_But with Ichigo, it's impossible – he _is_ the hero everyone makes him out t' be. He's earned the right t' expect t' be heard. He might not have the formal trainin', but he's got the right instincts._

Renji sighed. _Hard bein' with someone who don't need t' be perfect t' be number one… someone who'll always be more powerful than you no matter how hard ya try. Someone who might not really need ya…_

§

Ichigo did his best to put aside the furious hurt and focus on the training exercises he was leading. The best he could do was to force his feelings down into a hard knot that burned in his gut, and lock down his reiatsu so he wouldn't affect anyone around him.

Even with all his efforts, the squads he was training sensed the edges of his mood, and worked quietly and diligently at their exercises. The session ended uneventfully after a couple hours of good work. Ichigo couldn't summon any guilt for the charged atmosphere he'd inspired; it was just as well they learned to handle a tense situation now – they wouldn't get the chance to adjust on the battlefield.

_Guess I should go see how bad the damage is._ Ichigo fought down a wave of uncertainty as he headed home to wait.

§

"I'm home," Renji announced quietly as he dropped into a chair.

Ichigo couldn't respond, couldn't even look up. He kept as tight a grip on his reiatsu as he could, all of his spiritual power so focused on keeping himself locked in that he couldn't even feel the shinigami in the room with him. That lack gnawed at his heart; it had been a very long time since he hadn't felt Renji's spiritual presence in at least some small way, but he couldn't bear the thought of feeling rejection in it now.

"Do you…" Ichigo steeled himself to ask. "Do you want me to leave?" _Best to find out quickly._

"What?! _NO!_" Renji leaped out of his chair. "Just 'cause… You… you don't want to, do you?"

Relief. "Of course not!" The pain and uncertainty in Renji's voice had finally pulled Ichigo's gaze off the floor, and the stricken expression on the shinigami's face was salt in the wound. "But I'm not real happy with you right now."

"I shouldn't a'… I didn't mean it." Renji was pacing around the room now, as he often did when he was wound up. "I don't think that 'bout you."

"That just makes it worse," Ichigo said stiffly. "Don't say shit ya don't mean."

Renji winced visibly. "I… I'm… I got a problem I dunno what t' do with."

"Spit it out, then."

"It's just… you're… better'n me," Renji muttered. "Someday I won't be able t' reach ya anymore. Ya won't need me."

Ichigo stared at him incredulously. "Are you kiddin' me? What the hell kinda stupid idea is that?"

"What?" Renji bristled, clearly taken by surprise.

Ichigo laughed roughly. "This's gotta be a sick joke. Abarai Renji, _jealous_ of someone else's abilities? _Insecure_ about his own? Why'n hell would I train with you if I'm so much better? That makes no sense at all. You're one of the few people I don't have to worry about sparring with."

"Great, so I can take a beatin'. Maybe you're just bein' nice, knowin' ya could win if ya really wanted." If Ichigo didn't know better, he'd think Renji was sulking.

Ichigo shook his head in disbelief. "You're one of the youngest captains in the Gotei 13. You achieved bankai by training secretly on your own, and the very first thing you did with it was challenge your own damn captain, bloody _Kuchiki Byakuya_, even though you knew you were horribly outmatched – and through sheer stubborn will you managed to drive the man to one knee! You survived his bankai and scored a hit on him, what the hell more do you want? And let's not forget that stupid orange-haired ryoka you nearly broke in half with a single blow when he seriously underestimated you."

"Don't patronize me!" Renji snarled. "I know what I've done – an' what ya forgot t' point out is that I _lost_ all those fights!"

Ichigo threw up his hands. "What the hell does that matter? Is this some 11th Division shit again? Moral victories don't count? I lost plenty of fights, too, but the way I see it at least we had the guts to try. Grimmjaw Jaggerjack ring a bell for ya?"

Renji didn't look satisfied with that explanation. "Well it ain't easy bein' 'round someone like you all the time! I got nearly half a century head start, but that don't seem t' matter."

Ichigo had had enough. He stood and pointed a stiff finger at the shinigami. "I worked hard to get where I am, just like you!"

"Yeah well there's one big difference between you'n me, an' ya didn't work very hard or very long for that at all!" Renji snapped pointedly. They both knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I can't help what I am!" Ichigo exploded, fury and pain roiling in his gut. "I can't believe you… that's what this is about? The Hollow? The one I 'didn't work very hard for'? The one that nearly _killed me_ when the change was forced on me without my knowledge or consent? The one that nearly killed me _again_ when I fought for so long to gain some kind of control over it? _Did you forget what I went through to get him under control? What I have to do every time I—_" Ichigo stopped shouting to suck in deep lungfuls of air.

Renji was staring at him with a look of horror – shame was painted across his face as he opened his mouth soundlessly a few times. It didn't matter – no words could erase the painful truths that had just been revealed.

"I can't take this." Ichigo shoved his feet into his sandals. "I can't be around you right now, 'cause I don't wanna say somethin' I can't take back."

"Are ya comin' back?" Renji asked quietly.

Ichigo looked at him for a long moment, stricken to the core. "You really have to ask?" He left without another word.

§

Ichigo wore himself out demolishing the landscape in Yoruichi and Urahara's hidden training ground. He couldn't think around the hurt and anger and _fear_ that beat at him incessantly. When he finally dropped from sheer exhaustion, he was forced to let the fight back into the front of his mind and look at the truths behind the ugly words.

_I can't do anything about my power. Can't believe he thinks he's _weak_ next to me – that's beyond stupid. Where'd he lose his confidence in himself?_

_And where'd he lose his confidence in me... in _us?

Ichigo clenched his fists. _I opened the door for that. I asked the question first, with less provocation, so I shouldn't be surprised or upset that he had to ask, too, especially after I kept walkin' away. Why is it so easy to fear that this could just be thrown away with angry words? Did we really think 'forever' meant 'just until we get pissed off'?_

His heart thumped painfully. _But how could he think I wouldn't_ need_ him anymore? Training aside, we're supposed to be _partners,_ and that's supposed to mean more than just fighting. I am what I am, and that's never going away, but I'll _always_ need him, no matter what. Isn't that the most important thing? Why isn't it enough that we love each other?_

Ichigo dropped his head in his hands. _I'm tired._ His father's advice rose in his mind. _"You should never go to bed angry, you know. Your mother taught me that. You should always make it up and then make l—"_

_I dunno if I can do that, but I know I can't leave it like this. I gotta go home. This's still worth fighting for._

§

_I am the most unbelievably stupid person in all a' Seireitei right now._ Renji pummelled his leg with his fist. _What'n hell just came outta your mouth, you dumb fuck?_

He felt sick. _Some a' that had t' be talked about, but not like that – not angry, not spat out like knives thrown right for the gut._

Ichigo's voice spiralled through his head endlessly, fuelling his despair. _"Do you want me to leave? … I can't be around you right now."_

_I drove him there, t' that place. My stupid pride… my insecurity… shit that ain't got no place between us. Couldn't just ask him outright what he thought, oh no, had t' go an' throw it at him like he'd come out an' said I was too weak._

Renji leaned back on the couch, wondering just how he was going to explain this well enough for Ichigo to understand.

His head snapped up when he felt the approach of familiar energy, no longer hidden. His heart began hammering in his chest as he shot to his feet, fists clenched at his sides as he waited anxiously.

§

This had to be done just right – they were too raw to endure any more tonight. Ichigo took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside their quarters.

"I'm home," he said softly, meeting the dark, anxious eyes unwaveringly. He extended his reiatsu – apology, forgiveness, and peace offering.

Renji made a strangled noise that began somewhere deep in his chest and ended against Ichigo's ear as he flashed to Ichigo's side and caught him in a crushing embrace, physically and spiritually. "I'm sorry," his voice was choked. "I'm sorry, Ichigo, I didn't mean it like that, it wasn't—"

Ichigo returned the desperate hug with all his strength. "Stop, Renji, it's ok." The almost painful whirl of energy around them was laced with emptiness, relief, guilt, contrition, determination, and a dozen other things too complex to identify. "I shouldn't have… I mean, I should've trusted you more. Trusted _this_ more."

They stood locked together silently, shivering with relief in each others' arms. Finally, Ichigo eased himself out of the rib-cracking embrace. "C'mon, sit down. We gotta talk this out."

And so they did, for hours, long into the night. They'd never discussed some important differences between them – the significant age gap, for one, and the vastly different life experiences for another – and this whole mess just proved what a mistake that had been. They were getting a painful lesson in the difference between a long-distance relationship with short visits and managing daily life together in the long-term. It hurt like hell, but they were determined to pass the test.

Eventually they ran out of words; they were drained and exhausted, but it was worth it to ease the burning hurt and start to find the warm affection between them again. When they finally went to bed they lay together quietly, not quite touching, waiting for sleep to seal their new understanding.

Renji turned and looked at him with one final question. "We really ok now?" His eyes looked as wounded as Ichigo felt – they'd worked out a lot, but only time would heal the rest. Things would be strained for a while, but…

Ichigo nodded, relieved that they could start to put it behind them now. "Yeah, we're good." He stretched a tentative hand across the breach.

"Good, 'cause I'm freezin', an' I didn't wanna start another war t' get some a' those blankets back off ya." Renji offered a small smile with a hint of his usual humour as he shifted closer into Ichigo's willing embrace.

Their thoughts as they drifted off were very similar. _Remember that look on his face, and remember you helped put it there. Remember how awful you feel right now the next time you're about to do something asinine without thinking it through._

§

_**Omake**_  
_Chapter 9 omake_

Akuni: Geez. You had that stuff brewing for a while, I guess.

Renji: Guess so.

Ichigo: That was… intense.

Akuni: You guys ok?

Renji: Yep!

Ichigo: Of course! We can't stay long though, we gotta get back. (grins)

Renji: Oh yeah, right, we're in a hurry. (smiles happily)

Akuni: (eyes them suspiciously) Why are you so chipper? You just had the worst fight since you've _known_ each other. Shouldn't you be all… well you know? Sad and emo or something?

Ichigo: Well yeah we did that. But you know what happens after that, don't you? You already wrote it once.

Akuni: (stares blankly)

Renji: Give ya a hint: Make. Up. Sex.

Ichigo: (chuckles) Good hint.

Akuni: OH!

Renji: Yanno they're gonna lynch ya for not showin' it _again_. 'Specially since that was a _real_ fight, which means… (trails off meaningfully)

Akuni: … Oh hell, _hide me!_


	10. Chapter 10 Quality

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 10 - Quality**

Ichigo adjusted the acting captain's sash, wondering again if he really had to wear the awkward thing. He was a bit nervous about attending his first captains' meeting; he was confident enough in his ability on the field, but the captains of the Gotei 13 made an art form of intimidation, and Ichigo was well aware of all the things he didn't know about Soul Society's inner workings. He spent some time talking things over with the officers he was friendly with, but it would take more time to sort everything out.

A knock preceded Shuuhei's entrance into the 3rd Division offices. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah." Ichigo straightened the sash one last time as they made their way to the meeting.

"Nervous?" Shuuhei asked.

"Eh, a little," he admitted.

"No one's going to expect you to do anything at your first meeting. It won't be a big deal."

"I know all the Division information, and I'm up to date on the latest field reports, so as long as they don't ask me about anything else, I'm ok."

"They won't even ask that much," Shuuhei assured him. "They just like to hear themselves talk, mostly."

"Good."

Ichigo scanned the faces in the room as they entered. He knew all the captains, at least by reputation; a swift head count revealed not everyone was there yet.

_Hitsugaya looks the same as ever. Wonder if they'll ever figure out that the cold face he wears really means he's bored stiff? Heh._ Ichigo nodded to the short captain as Shuuhei showed him to his place near the front of the room. Startlingly, Hitsugaya actually offered a small smile in return. _Man, he _has_ loosened up._

"Ahh, Ichigo!" The cheerful voice and enthusiastic waving turned several heads. "Welcome!" _Ukitake somethin'… hangs out with that slacker guy with the hat._

"Nice to see you, Ukitake-taichou." Ichigo remembered his manners at the last second. Ukitake beamed before resuming his conversation with a rather put-out looking Zaraki.

_Byakuya still looks like a marble statue. Bit less of an ass lately… guess that's Rukia's good influence._ His polite greeting to the 6th Division captain garnered a brief nod. _A little bit less of an ass._

A hand on his elbow pulled his attention away from the captains. "Ichigo," Shuuhei began, "where's Renji today?"

"Ah, the 5th is out to the West today I think. They were gonna go pretty far." Ichigo concentrated a moment. "They're definitely not anywhere nearby. Why're we havin' a meeting without all the captains?"

"Happens all the time," Shuuhei told him. "Plenty of us think it's more important to be out there."

Ichigo nodded. "Good to know that isn't a problem. 3rd Division is on duty today – anything comes up, I'm outta here." He felt a twinge of anxiety in his gut. _Snap out of it, Ichigo, this ain't a big deal. Just a meeting._

"Even Kuchiki-taichou will leave if his Division is on alert."

"Huh." _Interesting._

The conversation in the room ended abruptly as the Commander-General of the Gotei 13 entered and took his place at their head.

_He does that very time he appears. Bastard loves scarin' people._

"Captains and Acting Captain of the Gotei 13," Yamamoto began. "You have been called here to hear the result of the studies being conducted on the mutated Hollows by the Research and Development Institute."

_Always the reminders. Everyone's gotta be precisely ranked._ Ichigo kept his face smooth, though he wanted to snort and roll his eyes with the ridiculousness of it all. _See, I was worried for nothin'._ The anxiety faded slightly but refused to go away entirely.

"There have been disturbing results. Some of the Hollows studied were not created or altered by the traitor Aizen Sousuke. They were always mutated, there was no manipulation."

"How is that possible?" Only the 8th Division captain had the seniority and the audacity to interrupt the Commander-General.

"The changes made to Hueco Mundo during the war are responsible for mutating new Hollows as they are created." Yamamoto met the astonished faces impassively. "It is unfortunate, but it is true. Research is now being done to determine whether these changes are permanent, or if they can be reversed or altered."

Kuchiki Byakuya spoke smoothly in the silence that followed. "What does this mean for us now, for our people?"

_Byakuya showing concern for his subordinates? Gotta remember to tell Renji._ Ichigo's senses tingled oddly at the thought of his lover, and the anxiety rose again in his stomach. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind and focus on Yamamoto's next words.

"It means that until we know the extent of the damage to Hueco Mundo, we will have to remain on full alert and continue to maintain the vigilant watch we have kept."

Ichigo knew he should be concerned about that, but he was getting more agitated by the second. _No good. It's not just nerves – something's not right._ Ichigo gave up and focused his attention on the growing sensation. There was a disturbance brushing against his senses that seemed strangely familiar.

"Ichigo!" Shuuhei's hand on his arm snapped him out of the trance. "What's wrong?"

Ichigo blinked several times and looked around, The eyes of all the captains were fixed on him. Shuuhei and Ukitake were at his side looking concerned, and Soi Fong still stood opposite him looking sour. He didn't have time to interpret the rest.

"Something's wrong," he stated bluntly. "Somethin's goin' wrong with the 5th." He knew as soon as he said it that it was true.

"That's absurd," Soi Fong snapped. "How can you know that?"

Ichigo glared at her, past caring about manners. "I _know!_"

The arrival of a breathless messenger interrupted the brief standoff. "Yamamoto-sou-taichou! Message from 5th Division lieutenant Kuchiki Rukia. The 5th is seeing heavy action in the West, and there's another rift opening to the North of their position. They've taken heavy casualties, and they don't have enough to split their forces. Kuchiki-fukutaichou is requesting assistance—"

That was all Ichigo needed to hear. He shook off Shuuhei's hand on his arm and sprinted for the door.

"Where do you think you're going, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi?" Yamamoto's dry voice stopped him in his tracks.

"My Division is on duty, Yamamoto-sou-taichou," Ichigo forced his voice to politeness even as he explained the obvious. "I am going to go lead my Division in performing our duty."

"How remarkable… the 3rd Division is actually ready to do their duty."

Ichigo whipped his head around to stare hard at Kuchiki Byakuya. _Did he… oh you're slick, you sly bastard._ He straightened, pulling his pride around him.

"The 3rd Division will always stand ready, but the 3rd Division _acting captain_," he emphasized the words with a hint of sarcasm, "hasn't got time to stand around _here_. I'll be more'n happy to discuss my Division, but only after we get back from doing our _duty_ by 'backing up the 5th'." He deliberately chose the same words from all those weeks ago. Ichigo flicked his eyes imperceptibly, meeting Byakuya's once more before he flashed out of the room as the alarm began to sound.

§

When Ichigo reached the 3rd Division barracks, he was met by three squads ready to go, and half of a fourth.

"Everyone know where we're going?" Ichigo asked the squad leaders. They nodded tersely. "Then let's go. Squads One and Two with me. The rest of you follow two squads at a time until they stop ringin' that alarm – Squad Five, wait for the squad from the 4th to get here and follow with them."

Ichigo took care not to outdistance the shinigami he led, though his nerves were screaming at him to hurry. The feel of the conflict ahead grew stronger with each step. One spiritual signature stood out over all the others in Ichigo's awareness – Renji was holding his own, but he was fighting furiously, which meant the rest of the Division was being hard-pressed, and—

There was a sharp rise in his power level. _This whole situation's just reached new levels of critical. Captains needin' to use bankai on what used to be routine patrols? Hell, captains needing to lead most of the patrols was bad enough._

When they got there, Ichigo led the squads around the edge of the 5th Division's fight, not wanting anyone to get caught in the crossfire.

"Oi, Rukia!" he shouted as he passed her. "We'll cover the North!" She acknowledged with a brusque motion even as she began her next chant.

Ichigo steered clear of the giant skeletal serpent spinning viciously around a tall Hollow that had – was that _four_ heads on long, scaly necks? He knew his presence had already been noted and their destination understood. Ichigo sped past, ears ringing as huge fangs crushed one of the writhing necks with a roar that turned into a scream as two other heads retaliated.

The rift in the North was smaller, but it had been open unchecked for several minutes, and dozens of small Hollows prowled the area.

_What're they waitin' for?_ Ichigo called a halt as he figured it out. _They _are_ waitin' for somethin'._

As if on cue, a large arm emerged from the rift, forcing it open even wider. Head and shoulders followed, and then _another_ head and huge torso.

"Teams, spread out!" he called. "Get rid of those little ones – they're waitin' for that big one, and I don't think we wanna find out why!"

The two-headed Hollow stepped clear of the rift, which closed itself inexplicably almost on the creature's tail.

_Shit, that thing looks solid._

Not waiting to let the creature settle itself, Ichigo leaped and dropped a two-handed overhand blow directly on top of one of the hideously deformed heads. He wasn't surprised when Zangetsu only sliced off a piece of leathery skin and skipped off the skull – it took more and more effort to defeat these new Hollows.

He withdrew to prepare for another attack, and cast an eye over his forces. They were doing well for the most part, fighting in teams, though one group seemed to be struggling with a larger pack. Ichigo wanted to help them out, but his instincts screamed a warning to pay attention to his own fight just in time.

The whip-like tail sailed past his ear as he flashed out of range. A disorienting tug at his reiatsu that followed in its wake left him cold all over. _Oh great, one of those. Hate energy drainers._

He kept a close eye on the tail as he circled the thing; it moved _fast_ compared to the bulky body that kept shuffling in place. Ichigo darted in, trying to gauge its range as he slashed straight across one of the monster's knees. Zangetsu left a gaping wound, but Ichigo barely dodged as the tail came whipping _between_ the Hollow's legs to stab at him.

_Fucker. Too damn smart._ He continued circling, taking advantage of every opening to leap up and carve slices off the giant while looking for a pattern to exploit.

§

_Bastard sure can take a beatin'._ Renji's whole body ached from the effort of battle and the assortment of wounds he'd picked up. One particularly vicious bite had his left leg nearly numb, and his balance was off when he attacked. He paid the price gladly, though, to slowly lead the thing away from the bulk of his forces after two of his people had been horribly mauled by the snapping heads.

He'd never seen a Hollow quite like this before. It had no arms to attack with, but each bite had an incredible amount of force behind it, seeming far out of proportion to the skinny necks, and the effort of meeting the crushing attacks had taken a heavy toll on Renji's energy.

Two heads were down, necks crushed and masks shattered, but that just left more room for the remaining two to manoeuvre. The one on the right feinted left, then attacked from above.

_Too obvious, goin' for my weak side._ Renji stood his ground, sending Zabimaru up to intercept while keeping a close eye on the head on his left. The roar from above was nearly deafening as the two collided. The skeletal serpent's fangs tore thick strips from the Hollow's long neck, but missed delivering a finishing blow.

_Any second now._ As the badly injured head retreated in pain, Renji spun Zabimaru into a defensive circle around him just in time to catch the new attack from the left. The force of the impact wrenched his shoulder, sending fresh waves of pain through his bruised body, but he gritted his teeth and launched a counter attack – at the _other_ head.

Taken completely by surprise, it had no chance to escape as Zabimaru shot straight forward with a scream of victory. Long, vicious fangs closed over the scaly neck and—

_CRUNCH!_

---tore the head right off. The neck stump fell heavily, dragging across the ground as the brutally wounded Hollow stepped back in confusion.

_Just one more t' go..._ Renji gave the last head a deadly look, his grin feral.

§

They'd managed to clear out a lot of the small Hollows attempting to reach the large two-headed monster, but it was clear to Ichigo that his forces were tiring quickly from having to chase down the speedy little things. And if he didn't defeat his own opponent soon, they were all going to be in trouble.

Cruel claws ripped a shinigami in half almost simultaneously, and several small Hollows raced through the breach. Fighters lunged desperately to head them off, and they almost succeeded – only one escaped their blades.

When the little Hollow touched the monster's leg, it… _imploded_, was about the only way Ichigo could think of to describe it. The two-headed Hollow roared through the explosion that knocked out two nearby shinigami. Ichigo would've sworn it had gotten stronger, and the wound on its knee smaller.

"Now we know _why_ we can't let them get in range of that big one!" Ichigo grimaced. "Do whatever it takes to keep them away!" he ordered.

_This's takin' too damn long. Here we go again…_

"_BANKAI!_"

§

His left leg was nearly useless now. Renji had shifted his weight entirely to his right foot, knee slightly bent. He could balance like that for a very long time, but this thing wasn't going to let him just stand there in one place.

"Taichou, let us help you!" One of his teams was approaching from behind. Renji swore under his breath – he encouraged teamwork where appropriate, but they wouldn't stand a chance against something this powerful, even with only one head left.

"No!" he ordered. "Get back! Cover Kuchiki-fukutaichou, help her get that rift closed." He raised his voice to yell over the battlefield. "Rukia! Ya almost got it?"

"Just about!" the shouted reply drifted back. He chanced a look – the rift was a lot smaller now, and the few Hollows that were managing to get through were being engaged almost instantly by his teams.

Zabimaru screamed a warning just as Renji pulled his attention back to his opponent. The remaining head was streaking in for a solid hit – again, to his vulnerable left side. _Dammit! Thing's too smart._ Renji focused his reiatsu, concentrating some of his remaining energy on his left leg, willing it to hold as he pivoted sharply on his right, whipping Zabimaru into position.

The two heads collided. The strike was blocked, but the angle was wrong to turn the blow; several tail segments shattered from the force slamming through them. Desperately Renji disconnected the joints before the shock reached him – he didn't think his arm could withstand another blow like that. The stab of agony that shot through his bones as he settled his weight made him certain his leg couldn't.

The Hollow's remaining head wavered almost drunkenly, one side of its mask deeply dented. Renji was all too aware of the fact that they both only had one more solid attack left in them. _Good thing one more solid hit ought t' do it, then._ He brought Zabimaru up again, intending to finally end it.

But he'd run out of energy.

Renji fell onto his face, cursing as both legs gave out underneath him. "Shit!" Zabimaru crashed to the ground beside him in pieces.

_Only one more option left._ "Sorry, Zabimaru. I hate it just as much." Renji concentrated every scrap of his remaining energy.

_"Higa Zekkou!"_

The wickedly sharp shards glowed faintly as they rose. They shot unerringly for their target, one after the other – the mask shattered under the bombardment, and the bizarre Hollow thrashed wildly.

"Fuckin' die already!" If he'd had the strength, Renji would've laughed as the Hollow disintegrated at last.

Renji struggled onto one side, craning his neck to see how the rest of the fighters were faring. Spots danced in front of his eyes, but he could see that Rukia had closed the rift, and was now helping their teams clear out the last of the Hollows. Relief swept through him. They'd done it.

"Go… rest," Renji panted. "We can't do any more here." The hilt of his zanpakutou warmed briefly in his hand before resuming its sealed state and growing cold once more. His fingers refused to release their grip, so he stopped trying.

"Renji!" Rukia's voice sounded very far away. Where was she going?

"Renji, can you hear me? Isane! Over here, he's hurt badly!"

Renji made a point of sheathing the katana before succumbing to his exhaustion, rolling onto his back to watch the sky spinning above him grow dark.

_I'm sorry, Ichigo…_

§

Ichigo zipped around the two-headed creature without much difficulty, slowly slicing chunks off of it. He couldn't get near the mask again with that tail guarding – and when he'd tried to shear the tail off, the shock that ran up his blade convinced him it was a bad idea to try again. So he kept hacking away at the torso and limbs – Ichigo couldn't understand how the thing was still standing with so many hideous wounds, but until he figured out where the monster was vulnerable, the best thing he could do was to keep weakening it and keep it occupied. If it was going to just stand there, all he had to do was avoid that tail and he'd eventually bring it down.

The Hollow roared as Ichigo tore through its abdomen and chest, the wicked slash running up from its right hip and stretching clear across to the left shoulder. _Bet that hurt, ya bastard!_

Then the massive body moved unexpectedly. The ground shook as it took two lumbering steps toward a knot of shinigami working hard to keep a pack of smaller Hollows out of range. It raised one massive arm to crush them from behind.

_Shit, it wants to heal!_ Ichigo knew they didn't stand a chance. He yelled a warning even as he flashed to intercept.

The giant fist slammed Ichigo to the ground, trapping him briefly. Ichigo felt the creeping chill again as its barbed tail slithered around the tree-trunk sized-leg and tried to latch onto his arm. He managed to scramble away, but not before it left a bloody gash on the back of his right hand.

The sudden drop in his energy when the tail made contact with his hand made him dizzy; he shook his head to clear it. Ichigo winced as he circled again, looking for a weak spot. Every breath was shallow and painful against his ribs – he was sure at least one was broken.

_Can't take another hit like that. I don't wanna do this, but…_ Ichigo pummelled his brain desperately for a solution – any solution – other than bringing out the Hollow. He had it under control, but it was an uncomfortable sort of control, and each time he used it he had to beat it into submission yet again – and he just didn't have that kind of time or energy right now. _I'll give it one more try._

He watched intently. There – an opening!

"Aughhh!" Ichigo sprang, putting all he had into the slash that carved a hole in the behemoth's chest and rocked it off balance. _Finally!_ He flashed high above and stabbed down into the mask – just as the tail sped up from below to wrap around his leg, jabbing its barb into his calf. He ignored it, and the agony in his hand, focusing his strength instead on forcing his blade down farther and twisting it to shatter the mask. The thing shrieked and writhed.

"Fucking hell!" Ichigo cursed as his energy level dropped. It would be a race to see if the Hollow could drain him before it faded. He slashed at the tail on his leg, but the strength had gone out of his arm.

He let his bankai fade; speed wasn't going to help him now, and he needed every bit of energy he had left to get his people out of this. Ichigo chopped again at the appendage gripping his leg, this time dislodging it enough to allow him to wriggle his leg out of its grasp. He had just enough energy left to flash out of range as the Hollow finally began to dissipate.

Ichigo's energy was nearly gone. He could only dimly sense the battles being fought right beside him. Sheer force of will kept him standing balanced on one leg as two more teams flashed in and helped the exhausted 3rd Division shinigami clear out the last of the Hollows. Ichigo had time to recognize the 4th Division insignia on some of the uniforms before the world spun strangely…

§

"We did it!" Excited cheers echoed all around him. "We won!" … "He defeated that thing _all by himself!_" … "He _saved_ us!" … "You're bleeding pretty badly there, are you ok?" … "Really? Hey, do you think this'll leave a cool scar?"

Ichigo was lying down. _That's odd. I was fightin', wasn't I?_ He attempted to sit up, but a sickening wave of dizziness made it an easy choice not to fight the gentle hand that pushed him back down.

"Lie still, please, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi, the fight is over," Unohana Retsu's voice was startlingly close. Ichigo turned his head, blinking hard to get his eyes to focus on the 4th Division captain.

"You've lost a lot of energy, and you've got several broken ribs," she explained.

"What about the 5th? Are they back yet?" Ichigo tried to ask, but another wave of dizziness interrupted him, darkness dancing on the edges of his vision.

Unohana seemed to understand anyway. "The other teams are on the way in with the injured from the 5th Division. Everything will be fine," she informed him calmly. "Now please relax and let us help you."

"But…" the rushing blackness overwhelmed him.

§

_**Omake**_  
Chapter 10 omake

Akuni: Man you guys sure took a beating out there!  
…

…

Byakuya: You might remember they are unavailable, due to the wounds they've suffered through their showy but admittedly effective actions. It would be… unfortunate if they did not recover.

Akuni: Oh, Byakuya, you old softie. I knew you cared!

Byakuya: … That's 'Kuchiki-taichou'.

Rukia: (coughs) Nii-sama, if I could respectfully point out, she _is_ the author…

Byakuya: Meaning?

Rukia: Ah, she has a certain amount of power here.

Byakuya: (turns his chilly gaze on Akuni) I believe we understand each other.

Akuni: Uh yes, Kuchiki-taichou, of course we do. (coughs) Well now, since Renji and Ichigo can't be with us, perhaps you'd like to say a few words about the situation in Soul Society?

Byakuya: The situation is difficult, and I do not have time to waste here any longer.

Rukia: Nii-sama, wait… (sighs) Ah well.

Akuni: Bye _Byakuya._

…

Akuni: Phew. He's really lightened up over the years.

Byakuya: (reappears out of nowhere) _Chire…_

Akuni: (screams in terror and runs for her life)

…

Byakuya: You know, that _was_ fun. (smiles faintly)

Rukia: Told ya! (giggles)


	11. Chapter 11 Acknowledgement

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Acknowledgement**

When Ichigo woke, he found the worst of his injuries had been healed, though his spirit energy was still drained almost to nothing. _How long've I been out?_ He looked around, trying to orient himself in the all-too-familiar 4th Division infirmary.

Ichigo had been put temporarily in a semi-private alcove at the back of the main hall. He tried to ignore the groans of the injured shinigami around him by running through the last fight in his mind. Something wasn't right about it… His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of slamming doors in the outer room and sandals slapping hard against the floor.

"Clear the way! Move it, now, they're bringing Abarai-taichou through!"

"Get Unohana-taichou!"

"I'm here, Isane. Everything is alright."

Fear stabbed through his heart. _What the hell happened?! Renji!_ He struggled to sit up, cursing the fact that his spirit energy was drained so low he couldn't reach out to feel for himself.

"Put him in with Kurosaki-taichou-dairi." Unohana's calm voice floated over the rest.

"T-taichou, that's highly irregular!"

"Nevertheless, please do as I say."

"Yes, Unohana-taichou!"

A shinigami raced toward him, hastily shoving a second futon into place in the small alcove. Four others entered and deposited a tightly wrapped stretcher on the floor, Unohana arriving on their heels.

"It's alright, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi." She projected calm and reassurance as her assistants freed Renji from the wrappings and transferred him to the futon.

Relieved, Ichigo let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he felt the thin tendrils of Renji's reiatsu mesh with his.

"He's been treated, he just needs rest now. His energy is very low, as is your own." Unohana looked at them consideringly. "I'll be back shortly. I know you'll want to discuss the battle, but please try to rest soon." The 4th Division shinigami trailed out in their captain's wake.

Renji's dark eyes were clear and alert as he turned to Ichigo. "Looks like we got busted up again."

"Pretty good this time." Ichigo leaned back on the wall, trying to get comfortable.

"Never thought I'd miss bein' at one a' those meetin's, but damn…" Renji winced a bit as he sat up and stretched his arms. "It might hurt just a li'l less. What'd I miss?"

"They figured somethin' out finally, about the Hollows. But it's not good news, Renji," Ichigo warned before Renji got the wrong idea. "Some of the mutated Hollows being studied lately… they weren't Aizen's creations. They were always that way."

Renji frowned, thinking hard. "So it's 'cause a' what Aizen did to Hueco Mundo, then." It was more of a statement than a question.

"They're trying to figure out how to undo it, or fix it," Ichigo confirmed. "They were just gettin' to that in the meeting when all this happened."

"It was really weird, Ichigo," Renji shook his head. "These attacks weren't a coincidence. Was almost like they were testin' the best ways t' hit us." They shared a sober glance as the truth of that sank in.

Ichigo nodded. "That means they're gettin' smarter, too."

"So we gotta be smarter, too, an' stronger. Gotta be more careful, gotta be ready, at any time. An' you 'n me, we gotta be right there at the front a' the action." Renji paused. "How come they let the 3rd go out t' meet the other attack?"

"We were on duty," Ichigo shrugged. "We were ready." He told Renji about Byakuya's seemingly backhanded support.

"Still won't bend, huh? Least he's got it right, though. We can't afford not t' be prepared," Renji said grimly. "No one can."

Sorrow filtered through their bond. They shared a look as the painful memory surfaced...

§

_-4 years ago-_

"Abarai-san! Ichigo-san!" Hanatarou's excited voice carried across the battlefield as he fell to his knees before the badly injured shinigami.

"Hanatarou, Ichimaru got him in the lung." Ichigo's hands and chest were drenched in Renji's blood.

"Ok, Ichigo-san, you can get up now."

Ichigo rolled to lie beside his injured comrade. Hanatarou's hands were already glowing as he began to repair the damage to Renji's chest.

"This is terrible, Abarai-san! A few centimetres more and…"

Ichigo blinked. Hanatarou sounded… angry? He watched the 4th Division relief team swarm around the injured lieutenant for several minutes.

"Ichimaru-taich— Ichimaru did this?" Hanatarou finally stood. The hole in Renji's chest was closed, and members of the 4th were splinting his arms and wrapping him in bandages.

"Right before Hitsugaya-taichou and Matsumoto-fukutaichou turned him t' confetti." Renji's voice was a little stronger than before. "Thanks, Hanatarou. Seems you're always patchin' us up these days."

Hanatarou drew his zanpakutou awkwardly.

"Hey be careful with that thing! Wait, what—" Ichigo's eyes bulged as Hanatarou sliced across his chest with precision he hadn't dreamed possible of their mousy little comrade. He clutched at his chest, but— no wound?

"Hana, what on earth did you do to me?"

"Just charging up, Ichigo-san." Hanatarou motioned his people to stand clear before slashing down across Renji's abdomen. Again, nothing appeared to happen. "Please excuse me Abarai-fukutaichou, Hisagomaru and I just needed a little assistance." A faint red glow appeared to surround his zanpakutou.

"Uh… sure." Renji exchanged a puzzled glance with Ichigo.

Hanatarou faced them both and bowed deeply. "Thank you for everything." He darted off as a contingent of 6th Division members arrived to check on their lieutenant.

"Hanatarou, where are you going?" Rikichi called after his friend.

"What does he think he's doing?" Ichigo demanded.

Hanatarou's small stature was an asset on the field. He zipped around individual fights, not even pausing as he slashed a half dozen shinigami as he passed. Hisagomaru began to glow a violent red.

"Dammit!" Renji coughed. "Ichigo stop him, he's gonna get himself killed!"

"Right, I—" Ichigo attempted to stand, but was forced back down by a hand on his chest.

"Stay still, Kurosaki-dono. You're in no shape to fight."

"Like hell!" Ichigo snarled. "That's our comrade out there, our _friend!_" He shoved the shinigami away and pushed himself to his feet. "Hanatarou!" He ran a few paces before the blast of power dropped him to his knees. "Oh no… _no_…"

The little 4th Division shinigami flashed unnoticed behind a hideously mutated Menos Grande that was pressing their defences dangerously.

"_Hanatarou!_" Rikichi's scream cut over the sound of battle.

Fighters for a quarter mile around watched in disbelief as the blast of power dissolved the immense Hollow and knocked three others away, leaving a gaping hole in the attackers' line. A small body in a shinigami uniform fell bonelessly into the gap.

"LET'S GO GET THOSE WORTHLESS BASTARDS!!" Zaraki Kenpachi charged, the entire 11th Division roaring behind him. Three sturdy shinigami attempted to keep Rikichi from racing after them, but he tore out of their grasp with a strength born of agony and vanished into the melee.

Ichigo blinked against the prickling in his eyes as he watched the fiercest shinigami captain in memory fight like a demon to reach the fallen 4th Division member. Zaraki hefted Hanatarou's broken form, then whirled and carved a path back out of the battle – _out of the battle?!_ – to deposit the lifeless body gently at Unohana's feet.

"Never seen anyone with more guts'n that guy. Does your Division proud." He offered the 4th Division captain and her officers a maniacal grin before he raced back toward the fight.

§

The fight had raged long and hot, but the defenders were eventually successful in driving the bulk of the attacking forces back into the rift. The casualty list was relatively short, but after hours without any news, Renji began to fear the worst for his enthusiastic shadow.

When Yumichika appeared at the 4th Division treatment room leading the vacant-eyed Rikichi, Renji wasn't sure whether to be relieved or even more worried. The young shinigami was battered, and as blood-soaked as any 11th Division member could wish – which was to say, completely unacceptable for a respected member of the 6th. It was a relief to learn that most of the blood belonged to the enemy, but when Rikichi became alert again a few hours later, the look in his eyes was heartbreaking.

Renji's broken arms were mostly healed, and the lung stab was almost a memory, having been treated expertly within minutes by Hanatarou and soon after by the captain of the 4th Division herself. As soon as he heard Rikichi had been cleared, he sat himself up and sent a formal summons for the young shinigami to attend him.

"You wanted to see me?" Whitened fists trembled at his sides.

"Sit down, Rikichi, hurts my neck starin' up at ya. I'm a hero in recovery, yanno." Renji attempted to lighten the mood.

Rikichi knelt beside the futon, and before Renji could speak again, the dam burst.

"It's my fault. I know it is. I'm the one who tried to teach him to fight, I'm the one who gave him the stupid idea he could be a hero!"

"Rikichi, that's not—"

"I was so proud… he wasn't as hopeless as he thought. He could've learned to do it alright, but I never should've—it's all my fault!"

"Riki—"

"My fault… _my_ fault… _my fault!_" Each cry was emphasised by Rikichi's fists pounding on the ground, wide, dry eyes staring.

"Rikichi!" Renji's bark turned into a cough.

Despairing eyes turned to him; shame and remorse flooded the younger shinigami's face before he bent his head low, the tokens in his hair clicking against the floor.

"Don't look at me like that, please, Abarai-fukutaichou," Rikichi begged hoarsely.

"'Abarai-fukutaichou'? I thought we were on friendlier terms than that," Renji said lightly.

"I don't… I…"

"Enough, Rikichi. Enough." Renji put the steel back in his voice. "I ain't blamin' ya. Unohana ain't blamin' ya. No one's blamin' anyone. It's _war_, Rikichi, that's how war is. Get used t' losin' friends, an' get used t' the fact that sometimes it's their own damn fault when they get killed."

Rikichi made a strangled noise. Renji couldn't tell if it was a sob or an angry growl. _Either way, I gotta push just a li'l harder an' he'll crack._

"Hanatarou wasn't ready for battle," he said brutally. "He knew it as well as anyone. But…" he softened his tone again. "…he did what he had t' do, an' he bought us one helluva victory today. That's what war's about, Rikichi."

Rikichi raised his head at last, tears running freely down his cheeks. "Renji-san, I…" His face crumpled and he collapsed weeping against Renji's side. Awkwardly, Renji put a bandaged arm around the young shinigami's shaking shoulders. He made no move to wipe away the single tear that escaped his own battle-weary eye.

§

_-present-_

"Hanatarou…"

"Did what he had to do. What we all hafta do. Hanatarou chose to make that sacrifice so we wouldn't lose." Ichigo's throat was tight and his heart ached at the thought of losing the important people in his life. Especially the most important person sitting by his side.

"We can't afford t' lose, there's too much at stake," Renji agreed firmly. "Soul Society, the living world – no one can afford for us t' lose."

"Not only that, but…" Ichigo pulled Renji into an embrace; he didn't give a damn who was watching or listening, he burned with the need to get the words out. "…_I_ can't afford to lose _you_."

He pulled back just enough to look Renji in the eyes.

"I love you." Ichigo didn't even bother lowering his voice.

They'd both whispered those words in those moments right before the ecstasy crashed over them, the sentiment escaping effortlessly on the crest of the wave, but they'd never been said so openly and abruptly.

"Ichigo…" A surprised smile spread across Renji's face. "We said forever, an' that means I love you too much to lose ya."

Ichigo's heart skipped as Renji leaned in to seal the declaration with their lips, heedless of the 4th Division shinigami who were suddenly very busy on the other side of the room.

"We already knew that. Never thought hearin' it right out like that'd mean so damn much, though," Renji said softly. They wore identical silly grins.

"I needed to say the words." A weight Ichigo hadn't noticed before had lifted, leaving him giddy.

"Best words I ever heard."

"Best words you ever said."

"'Cept 'welcome home'. I like sayin' those words just as much." Renji winked and grinned suggestively.

Ichigo smirked. "Yeah, I like those, too."

§

They were deep in discussion about how to improve their defences and step up training when Unohana returned.

"Can we leave now?" Renji asked.

Unohana gazed at them for a moment before responding. "We don't have the people to spare to make sure the two of you stay put and do what you're told. So I'm offering you a compromise. Stay here overnight and I'll let you go home in the morning, provided you give me your word you'll rest for two full days before going back out. Otherwise I'll be forced to separate you right now and sedate you both for a week."

"Yes, Unohana-taichou." Ichigo bowed his head.

"We promise t' behave, Unohana-taichou."

Unohana smiled serenely. "Thank you very much, Abarai-taichou, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi. Rest well." She glided out of the room.

"Man, she's scary." Ichigo shivered.

"No kiddin'. Like a quieter, female version a' Zaraki-taichou," Renji mused. They looked at each other for a moment before clutching their sides with laughter.

"Ow!"

"Damn that hurts!"

Laughter gave way to exhaustion, and, mindful of their promise to Unohana, they settled down to sleep. To the casual observer they appeared to be sleeping apart, but anyone who cared to take a closer look would see the backs of their hands pressed together on the floor between them. Anyone with the ability to look deeply enough would see their drained energies were still somehow firmly meshed.

§

They were released first thing the next morning. Isane allowed them a few minutes to check on Kira's condition before sending them home with a look that said there'd be hell to pay if they didn't keep their promise.

Messengers from their Divisions were waiting for them when they approached their quarters. The 5th Division messenger simply handed Renji a small packet and a stack of reports and left, after offering wishes for good health and a brief nod to them both. The shinigami from the 3rd Division shuffled his feet as he waited his turn.

"This came into the office for you this morning, but we thought you should stay home and rest." He handed Ichigo a small packet.

"What's this?" Ichigo turned it over in his hands. It looked like…

"Your pay," the young shinigami explained.

"Pay?" Ichigo blinked.

"Well you're part of the Gotei 13 now, you get paid like everyone else," the messenger smiled hesitantly.

"Oh. Ok… thanks for bringing it over." Ichigo eyed the nervous shinigami. "Was there something else?"

The messenger swallowed heavily. "We're glad you're all right, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi, and… and we're glad you're staying with us," he finished in a rush. He bowed quickly and left in a fluster.

"What was _that_ about?" Renji asked, bemused.

"Don't ask me." Ichigo shook his head. "What'm I supposed to do with this?"

"Buy something?" Renji grinned, then shrugged. "Dunno, do we need anything?"

"Not really." The phrasing caught Ichigo's attention and gave him the answer – the answer he suspected his lover had just figured out as well. He opened the bottom drawer of the desk and took out the jar where Renji kept his money, and added the contents of his packet to it.

"Put mine in there too, will ya?" Renji tossed Ichigo his pay packet. He turned away, but Ichigo caught his smile and felt the pleased tingle in their reiatsu.

The issue of money hadn't come up before; Renji didn't care much about money, and the only thing they ever really bought was food and drink. It was logical that they should share, and they'd just decided rather casually to do so. They already shared everything anyway – it wasn't a big deal, but the way their energies were dancing said otherwise.

"Now what?" Ichigo looked around.

"We're supposed to be resting," Renji reminded him.

"Right." Ichigo was so relieved to be home that he actually did try to rest. After just twenty minutes of inactivity, however, he cracked.

"I hate not bein' out there. We're _fine_ now, we don't need any more rest."

"I know, but ya heard Unohana-taichou. We promised, so we're stuck here," Renji reminded him.

"Practically under house arrest, for two days!" Ichigo grumbled. Then he blinked. "We're stuck here," he repeated, "for two whole days." A slow smile worked its way across his face.

Soft breath tickled as Renji chuckled against his neck. "Now you're thinkin', lover."

§

Ichigo lay awake quietly as Renji slept beside him. Somehow the shinigami had managed to sprawl on top of Ichigo and still be snuggled into the crook of his arm at the same time. The position suited them both just fine; Ichigo loved feeling Renji's weight on him, and, though he'd never admit it to anyone but his lover, Renji loved to be _held_.

_Guess we both like feeling wanted. Mutually possessive, hehe._ Ichigo smiled to himself. _Proved that today, too._ His heart sped up as he remembered the open, earnest declarations they'd made that day. The memory sent a pleasant tingle through the warmth of the energy surrounding them, and Renji curled closer in his sleep. Ichigo rested his cheek against the face pressed against his neck, closing his eyes and relaxing into sleep.

§

_-just over 1 year ago-_

_He was late._

_Ichigo gnawed his lower lip in frustration. Three weeks, it had been. Three weeks since his lover had left, and now when he had time off for the first time since his return to Soul Society, Renji was late._

What if his leave got cancelled? What if there's some big crisis and they didn't bother to tell me? What if—

_There was a distant surge of energy that was instantly recognizable as the opening and closing of the gate at the Urahara Shouten. The faint tickle of familiar reiatsu made Ichigo's heart pound and his knees weak. _He's here… he made it._ He forced himself to sit still and not launch himself out of his body and out the window._

_There had been letters back and forth, but it wasn't the same as having a conversation. There was never anything more intimate than 'Looking forward to seeing you next week.' in those letters. And it definitely wasn't the same as being able to share an embrace, or a kiss… it wasn't strong fingers digging into his hips, or calloused hands running down his back…_

_Ichigo swallowed heavily, shifting to relieve the uncomfortable tension in his groin. His hands gripped his knees as the familiar reiatsu drew near; he felt his own energy quivering against his skin, and he fought the nearly irresistible urge to let it fly free to join with the other._

_Light footsteps on the window ledge had Ichigo's pulse hammering even faster. He closed his eyes, focusing intently on getting his flustered emotions under control. When he opened them again, Renji was there, standing in the late afternoon sunlight._

_Ichigo couldn't bring himself to look his lover in the eyes right away, inspecting him first from the feet up. Nothing had changed – of course it hadn't, it had only been a matter of weeks, but it had felt like an eternity. It was obvious from the way their energies quivered together that Renji felt the same way. _

_Ichigo stood and finally raised his gaze to his lover's face. He looked into eyes so dark that the red almost looked black; eyes that stared back at him, an impossible depth of emotion mirrored within._

_"Ichigo…"_

_The sound of his name in his lover's rough voice, tinged with the same anxiousness racing through him, broke whatever was holding him. They crashed into each other, arms gripping tightly as they embraced. Ichigo leaned into the cheek pressed to his and breathed against the sensitive ear. "Missed you, Renji."_

_"Too long." Renji's reply was just as quiet. "Too damn long!" Then Renji's hands were on his face and his lips were covering Ichigo's, cutting off any further conversation for several minutes._

_Ichigo steered them over to sit on the bed when they finally broke apart. Renji leaned his forehead against Ichigo's and gave him a small grin. "Guess I missed ya, too."_

_"Then why're you late?" Ichigo teased._

_"I just came off my last shift, I needed t' wash up first."_

_Ichigo couldn't help smirking. "I coulda helped you with that, yanno."_

_"Yeah, but that's for _fun,_" Renji's grin grew wider. "I actually needed t' get clean this time."_

_They shared a laugh, thinking back to the number of times they'd ended up washing in lukewarm water after they'd lost track of time in the shower. The happy memories triggered a wave of warmth and affection through their linked energies._

_"Got any other complaints?" Renji asked before he tilted his head and captured Ichigo's lips again with his own._

_"Didn't even knock first," Ichigo mumbled in between kisses._

_Renji's mouth brushed across Ichigo's cheek and down his jaw. His tongue traced the dip in Ichigo's throat, the warm breath over his wet skin making Ichigo shiver. "Didn't know I needed t' knock when I came home."_

_Ichigo's chest thumped, and he pulled back just a little. "Home?"_

_Renji straightened to meet Ichigo's questioning look. "All day, I felt like I was preparin' t' go home," he explained. "Couldn't figure it out, 'til I realized it wasn't a place I was thinkin' 'bout, it was bein' with _you_." He flushed a little, but continued on. "Home is wherever we are," he said simply._

_"Then I guess I should say 'welcome home'." Ichigo was nearly overwhelmed by the flood of desire that shot through their reiatsu. They were already pulling at each others' clothes, but a sudden thought stilled Ichigo's fingers. "Actually I have somethin' else to say, just as important." He stood, hauling Renji up with him._

_"Wha?"_

_"Take it off," Ichigo insisted._

_"Thought that's what we were doin'," Renji resumed his assault against the buttons on Ichigo's shirt._

_"No, not the clothes," Ichigo grinned. "The gigai. Take it off."_

_Renji looked perplexed, but he complied anyway. "Any reason why? We've done that before." He continued peeling Ichigo out of his clothes as he was stripped of his uniform, stopping only long enough to shake his hair out of its practical tail and let it fall around his tattooed shoulders._

_Ichigo gently pushed the shinigami back down on to the bed. "Yeah, I know." He leaned in and sucked on the sensitive earlobe. "But we didn't the first time… and I don't feel like making love with your gigai," he whispered, grateful that he could hide his face against his lover's neck even though he knew Renji would feel the shift in his energy. He still wasn't used to saying these things so openly._

_Renji's arms wrapped around him reassuringly. "Actually, I'm kinda glad ya feel that way," he admitted. "I never feel quite like myself in those things." He cleared his throat. "An' I'm glad that we didn't the first time, too." He turned, pulling Ichigo to his side and bringing their lips together._

_The evening was a haze of sometimes awkward passion as they reacquainted themselves with each other. They'd only had a few short weeks together before, so there was still a great deal they had to learn together. For instance, the backs of Ichigo's knees were apparently too ticklish to be kissed, and Renji didn't mind at all when Ichigo tugged at his hair. They were both startled when Renji's teeth and lips grazing Ichigo's nipples sent a shockwave of intense pleasure through their energies. _

_Renji was surprised to find that he liked best being taken from behind on his knees, while Ichigo had taken a liking to straddling Renji's waist and lacing their fingers together. And they both enjoyed having the other underneath him on his back._

_They discovered it was more intense and they were more vocal when they were looking into each others' eyes… and that Renji was the most talkative, especially when he was breathing hard against Ichigo's neck in the heady minutes right before their pleasure peaked. He proved it again late that night, when he held Ichigo beneath him._

_"…soft, an' hot, an' so tight… love the way ya feel 'round me. Want t' feel that way for you, too." The murmured endearments always went straight to Ichigo's heart. Renji was whispering endlessly as they moved together; the soft, slow pace they'd set had grown more urgent, and they were fast approaching release. "So good… so right. Love it, an' you." The last was the barest whisper against Ichigo's ear – it sent a thrill through his whole body that fed the wave of pleasure rising around them. _

_He wrapped himself even tighter around Renji, energy flaring in response to the emotion washing over his heart and mind. "I love a lot of things 'bout you." The whispered words came out of nowhere. "Love how we move together, how we feel together… love… just you." The atmosphere was overcharged; the fire swept through their bond, driving them past the point of rational thought. Ardent eyes found each other – half-formed thoughts and phrases flowed between them as the tension snapped._

_"Don't let me go."_

_"Never…"_

_"Need ya with me forever, Ichigo."_

_"I'll always… don't stop, I… Ren—!"_

_"Gonna—" _

_The stream of words ended; raw cries were torn from their throats as they were overwhelmed completely._

_No more words were needed. They curled up together when the passion settled, arms and legs entwined, tangled hair stuck to heated skin, holding each other close throughout the night…_

§_  
_

_-present-_

Two days later, Ichigo stood in front of the crowd assembled in the training yard. Nearly all junior members and several officers still wore bandages, but they wore them like badges of honour – and as far as he could tell, not a single face was missing.

"Anyone not recovered from their injuries can be excused from this morning's session," Ichigo offered.

"We're ready to get back to work when you are, Kurosaki-taichou-dairi," the most senior officer declared. The other shinigami in the yard nodded their agreement as they faced him unwaveringly. "We're still a little light with Kira-dono in the infirmary, so we have to be that much better."

Pride swelled in his chest, and Ichigo smiled. "Let's get started, then."

§

_**Omake**_  
Chapter 11 omake

Akuni: (fangirls) So… sweet… you guys, you did it, I'm so proud of you!

Renji/Ichigo: (grumbly noises)

Akuni: What's wrong? Aren't you happy to have said the big words out loud for a change?

Renji: It ain't that… it's…

Ichigo: It's just, a bit uncomfortable.

Renji: (nods) Yeah.

Akuni: I don't understand. You guys _love_ each other. You've said it before, this was just, eh, more formal.

Renji: Well yeah.

Ichigo: 'Course we do.

Akuni: Then what's the problem?

Ichigo: I can't believe we _said that_ in front of all those people. (wide eyed)

Renji: I can't believe we _kissed_ in front a' all those people. (equally wide eyed)

Akuni: But… you didn't seem to mind then.

Ichigo: Heat of the moment.

Renji: Kinda got swept away by the whole thing.

Akuni: Do you _regret_ it? (worries) No one was really staring, I promise. I mean, they _saw_, but…

Renji/Ichigo: (look at each other)

Ichigo: (softly) Nah, not really. We meant every bit of it.

Renji: (smiles) Nothin' else matters.

Akuni: (wibbles)

Rikichi: You might want to pull it together… what kind of reactions do you think you're going to get over that death…?

Akuni: Oh crap…


	12. Chapter 12 Affirmation

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 12 - Affirmation**

Ichigo's eyebrows shot up. "You want me to what?"

"I want you to be the 3rd Division's lieutenant," Kira repeated in a patient tone. He'd been released from the infirmary the day before, and Ichigo had just relinquished command of the 3rd Division back to him.

"I'm not really qualified," Ichigo pointed out. "I'm not even a real shinigami, just a 'substitute'."

Kira waved away his objections. "Don't be ridiculous, you're as much of a shinigami as the rest of us. You've done the captain's job for weeks now, and look at the improvements you made. If you can _lead_ a Division that well, you're certainly qualified to be lieutenant. And you know better than anyone else how tough it is for a Division to run smoothly without two senior officers."

"Yeah but… can you do that? I mean, just make me a lieutenant?" Ichigo asked.

"Yamamoto-sou-taichou made you an acting captain," Kira said. "So there's no reason I can't make you an acting lieutenant." He paused uncertainly. "Unless, you don't want to."

"No, I don't mind," Ichigo hastened to assure the insecure shinigami. "I mean, I'd like to. Since we've got this handy loophole." He grinned. "I don't hafta wear another sash, I hope."

§

Over the next few weeks, Ichigo spent a great deal of time learning about the Soul Society and the role of the Gotei 13. Until now, he'd been just picking it up as he went along; he'd learned a lot during the war, and he'd talked with Renji a great deal about how things worked. He had the basics covered, but when it came to the details that other shinigami learned at the Academy, Ichigo still had a lot to learn.

As acting captain without a lieutenant, Ichigo had just done his best to keep the Division together, and keep working toward improving the Division in general. Now, acting as lieutenant with a captain in charge – acting or otherwise – Ichigo had the chance to learn about the specifics of the roles in a properly structured Division.

A great deal of information was filtered through a Division's lieutenant before it reached the captain, and the lieutenant had a number of heavy responsibilities, including hearing grievances and issuing reprimands. Ichigo also learned more about the paperwork that Renji loathed so completely, and quickly decided Renji's assessment was spot on – paperwork _sucked_.

§

The first lieutenants' meeting after Ichigo accepted the position was thankfully less eventful than his first captains' meeting had been. Rukia accompanied him, and gave him a quick explanation of what to expect.

When they arrived, Ichigo was welcomed warmly by Iba and Matsumoto; he'd gotten to know these 'friends-of-his-friends' and he thought he would enjoy working with them. Kotetsu Isane, 4th Division lieutenant, gave him a wave but did not leave her place by her sister's side.

Kotetsu Kiyone had officially become lieutenant of the 13th Division early in the war against Aizen. Her comrade and co-seat Kotsubaki Sentarou had been killed in a brutal surprise attack, along with two entire squads of the 13th Division, leaving Kiyone to shoulder the responsibility alone for the first time. She'd done a good job, and her promotion was well-deserved, but – like so many other veterans of the war – sometimes the light went out of her eyes; for Kiyone, it was when she tied on her badge. Only time and patience would salve that wound, Ichigo knew.

Ichigo found the relative informality of the lieutenants' meeting an interesting counterpoint to the captains' meetings he'd attended. There seemed to be fewer personality clashes, and more commiserating over difficulties.

The meeting ran smoothly. Each lieutenant reported on their Division; Ichigo felt a swell of pride when it was his turn to speak and the other shinigami nodded approvingly at the results of the training programs he'd implemented, and the overall improvement to the Division. By the end of the meeting, he'd readily agreed to work with some of the others to help make similar changes in their Divisions. Inwardly, he was once again baffled by the limited vision of the Gotei 13 – the 5th and 6th Divisions had been employing similar training strategies for years, with some success. Once again, his unique status lent weight to his arguments and ideas.

Ichigo was grateful that his shift was over when he finally managed to escape from Yachiru's enthusiastic company, long after the meeting had ended for the others; it had been a long day, and he was tired. Before going home, he remembered he needed to stop by the 4th and inform Unohana-taichou that he would be sparring with Kenpachi the next morning.

As he headed that way, an alert began to sound; he knew the 5th was on duty today, and he wondered absently how long Renji would be out. He was lost in thought, already planning how to integrate his training programs with the other Divisions.

A runner from the 5th passed him as he entered the 4th Division headquarters. Ichigo frowned. The alert should have been enough notice; Divisions only sent runners when they were expecting heavier casualties than usual…

"Kurosaki-fukutaichou-dairi," Unohana's greeting was as calm and cool as ever, but that didn't really mean anything – Ichigo was almost certain the woman would maintain her serenity if she had to face down an entire army of Hollows alone.

"Unohana-taichou." He nodded politely; like nearly everyone else, he felt it prudent to remember his manners with the 4th Division captain. "I came to tell you I'll be sparring with Ke—uh, Zaraki-taichou tomorrow morning."

Unohana gave him a small smile. "We will be ready for you."

"Thank you." Ichigo stood, wondering how to ask what the messenger from the 5th had reported without breaking any obscure, unspoken rules. "If I may ask," he began, "that messenger…?"

"Isane has just left with two squads to join the 5th," Unohana informed him. "They've been sent out to the 62nd district." The gentle smile faded. "I think it's going to be very unpleasant."

"Thank you, Unohana-taichou." Ichigo left the captain to her preparations and headed home.

_Guess that's why we all gotta stay strong._ He walked slowly, mulling things over.

It was hard work – being a full-time shinigami was physically demanding, dirty, and often painful. The paperwork involved in running a Division was mind-numbingly tedious, and the emotional burden of the battles they fought regularly was heavy. And yet, despite all of that, right now there was nothing else Ichigo would rather be doing.

_I knew I could make a difference. It's a relief to be doin' what I know is right, and see how much good it's doing._

He shook his head, amazed that something so difficult could be so rewarding.

§

Ichigo was roused from his nap on the couch when he felt agitated reiatsu prickling against his before Renji even opened the door. And if that wasn't enough, when Renji entered their quarters, one look at his face was more than enough to confirm the prediction Unohana had made to Ichigo at the 4th. He sat up and waited for Renji's reaction.

Renji toed off his sandals and threw his cloak on the back of a chair as usual, but his eyes were flat. Without a word, he pulled the tie from his hair, then went straight to the couch where he pushed himself into Ichigo's arms.

Renji buried his face in Ichigo's chest, knuckles gone white as he twisted Ichigo's robes. Ichigo could feel him struggling to maintain control, and extended his own energy a little more to bolster his lover until he could pull himself together.

"_Again,_" Renji whispered hoarsely. "Why's it always _kids?_" He was trembling all over, but the strain in his voice reflected as much anger and frustration as pain.

"I don't know," Ichigo murmured. He stroked the brilliant red head tucked under his chin, and didn't offer any platitudes or reassurance. This was just the way things were, and no words could ever explain _why_ innocents had to suffer. They both knew and accepted that, but it didn't make it any easier to deal with.

"There were…" Ichigo felt Renji collect himself. "There were a lot a' really small kids in the family."

"Oh hell." Ichigo let out a long breath, and folded Renji in tighter. "How many made it?"

Renji relaxed a little. "'Bout half. We were already close when they appeared. We were on our way out when we felt the rift open. Got there before anyone even had time t' sound the alert."

"Half! More'n I expected. Damn, they were lucky you were nearby."

Renji snorted. "Real lucky."

_Wrong thing to say, I guess._ Ichigo tried again. "All we can do is our best, right?" The shinigami shrugged.

"That's what you taught me," Ichigo refused to rise to the bait. Instead he continued running his hand over the long hair spilling over them, extending the strokes to include the still-tense shoulders and arms.

Renji finally sighed. "Yeah, I know. We did what we could." There was no guilt or pride in his voice; there was no room for either in this situation.

After a few minutes, Renji had responded to the gentle comfort and was lying more comfortably against Ichigo's chest. His hands had given up their grip on Ichigo's robes, resting instead on his lap, and his reiatsu was calmer.

"Hey," Ichigo shook him a little. "You feel like eating? There's food." The answer was a groan. He chuckled softly. "Heh ok, no food. Let's just go to bed then, before we fall asleep like this."

As they settled themselves under the blankets, Renji turned and kissed him hard. When he pulled back, he snaked his arm around Ichigo's waist and pulled himself closer. Ichigo obliged the unspoken request, curling himself tightly around his lover's body and pressing his cheek to the bowed head sharing his pillow. He wrapped his reiatsu up tightly with Renji's and focused on soothing his lover with the warmth and affection in their bond.

All he could do now was wait for the inevitable…

§

_"No… dun y' ken? Git out…"_

Ichigo's eyes snapped open as Renji's distressed reiatsu flooded the room. He'd been expecting this and had tried to stay awake, but he'd fallen asleep.

_"...git yerself gone…'s too bad…" _

Ichigo disentangled himself from his lover's arms and pushed him gently. "Renji… Renji wake up."

_"No, dammit not again!"_ The shinigami started to thrash in his sleep.

Ichigo sat up and grasped Renji's shoulders firmly, giving him a rough shake. He winced as a loose hand connected with the side of his head. "Renji! Wake up!!"

The struggling stopped as Renji woke. Dark eyes blinked up at Ichigo, gradually finding focus on his face. Awareness registered in Renji's expression as he sat up beside him. "Thanks fer wakin' me. Dun like t' relive tha'." He ran a shaking hand through his hair and leaned gratefully into Ichigo's embrace as the tears started to fall.

"Yeah… I ken," Ichigo took a stab at the dialect. He felt Renji smile at the gentle teasing even as he shook against his shoulder; Renji sometimes had trouble shaking off his childhood speech patterns after a Rukongai nightmare.

Ichigo held his lover close as he wept his grief and frustration. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. Horrific memories and bad dreams came with the shinigami uniform. They'd both suffered terrible nightmares after their experiences during the war. Renji had been the one to realize that Ichigo didn't have the training to deal with it properly; he'd comforted and supported Ichigo when his grief spiralled out of control, and taught him how to manage and share the pain.

When Renji raised his head, he wore a small smile. He swiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand, brushing away the last of the tears he'd shed unashamedly.

"Your eyes are all red," Ichigo commented. "Well, redder than usual."

Renji chuckled weakly. "I know… I look like a tomato, right?"

Ichigo laughed softly at the old joke. "Nah, you're all pale now. More like a winter melon in a wig." He got up long enough to fetch a glass of water for the exhausted shinigami, then took Renji back into his arms as they settled down together again.

Renji's lips on his were soft and undemanding, and Ichigo responded in kind. When they pulled apart, Ichigo was not at all surprised when his lover lowered his head and sighed into his neck instead of moving to more intimate activity. His energy was already hovering on the brink of sleep, though he fought against it.

"'M tired," Renji mumbled, his eyelids sliding closed in spite of his obvious efforts to keep them open.

"So sleep."

"Sure?"

"Yup." Ichigo couldn't help the grin spreading across his face at his lover's rather endearing sleep-induced confusion.

"'Kay then. Night Ichi." Renji was asleep in seconds.

§

Ichigo woke early the next morning, despite the interruption in the night. He curled himself around his lover's form, smiling when Renji settled closer in his sleep. He felt Renji's reiatsu, and was not surprised to find it calm and relaxed. _Rough night for him, but it looks like he's ok. Been through this before, and we will again – handling things this way really works._

Ichigo turned his thoughts over in his mind a few times. _We're gonna be facin' this sorta thing for a long, long time – well, forever, really. Wonder how it'll feel – doesn't look like you ever get used to it. But if you have somethin' solid you can trust… like our connection. We're in this together, forever – that's what keeps us goin' even when we're strugglin' with everythin' else._

Ichigo wanted to do something, make some gesture… He wasn't sure why – they'd never needed outward symbols or demonstrations, and they still didn't. All the same, he wanted to do… something.

He remembered the way his heart had started racing inexplicably when they'd leaned on each other at his birthday celebration… he remembered Renji's surprised smile when they declared their feelings so openly.

_I still don't like being too… close… in public, but that's 'cause it's _private_ and I don't want to share it with anyone but Renji. But there's somethin' about puttin' my mark on him and havin' his mark on me for everyone to know we belong to each other… I can't deny how it makes me feel._ Ichigo stopped and grabbed at the thought before he lost it. He pulled out Yumichika's map that, true to his word, Ichigo never removed from his pocket. Pinned to the back was the card Shuuhei had given him on his birthday.

_His mark…_ Ichigo smiled as he closed his eyes.

_:Hello, Ichigo.:_

"Hey, Zangetsu." Ichigo looked around the odd building-scape. "Things here the same as always, huh?"

_:You've been getting stronger. We are fighting well together.:_ Zangetsu's approval was clear in his voice.

"Yeah, we're gettin' a lot of practice, that's for sure."

_:It is a difficult time. But you're meeting the challenge well.:_

"We're doin' our best."

_:That's all you can ask for.:_

Ichigo smiled. "Listen, the reason I'm here… I want your opinion, and your help."

_:Ah, yes.:_

"Right, you already know everything I wanna say. Yanno that really cuts down on the conversation potential."

Zangetsu's chuckle echoed eerily. _:It saves time.:_

"I wanna do this, for both of us. Well all of us, really." Ichigo wanted to explain even though he knew he didn't have to. "It's a part of him, and he's a part of me, so I wanna show that."

_:An appropriate sentiment towards one's partner.:_

"Yeah, I guess." Ichigo wasn't used to hearing anyone else describe the… well it _was_ a partnership he had with Renji. More than just sex, more than just love, it was a bond forged with mutual respect and admiration and loyalty as well as all the rest.

"It's not just me n' Renji involved here, though. It might've taken me a bit longer to figure it out," Ichigo grinned, "but even I figured out that I've got another partner with me all the time. And since that's the case, it's only right I ask Zabimaru, too, as Renji's fighting partner."

_:You want me to ask the next time we speak.:_

"Yeah if you would, please. I'd do it myself but, eh… I dunno, is that even possible?" Ichigo asked curiously.

Zangetsu stared off to the side, watching as a patch of light grew and began to shimmer. _:It is indeed possible, and you are about to get your chance.:_

"Er…" Ichigo peered apprehensively at the shape taking form in the swirling fog.

_::Good morning Zangetsu.::_ The new voice had an odd stereo quality. _::Well this's different… ya shoulda just told me you were busy.::_

"Zabimaru…" Ichigo had seen the creature before, of course, but he hadn't been prepared to meet him again just now, especially not right _here_.

_::Hey, Ichigo. Nice place ya got here.::_

"Uh, thanks." He watched, fascinated, as the two heads looked in different directions – one at Zangetsu, and one at himself.

_::So I'll just let you two finish whatever you're doin'…::_

"Could you wait, please?" Ichigo asked quickly. "I, um... I wanna ask you somethin'."

_::Huh, that's different, too. Whassup?::_

Ichigo wasn't sure which head he should address, so he settled for alternating his gaze between the two. "Yanno what happened last night," he began, "and how hard it is sometimes to deal with the stuff we gotta deal with. I wanna do somethin' to… to reinforce that some things really are forever."

_::With you so far.::_

"I was thinkin', since we're all sort of linked together, it'd be nice to have somethin' that'd reflect that." Ichigo pointed a bit self-consciously. "Like those."

_::You wanna get a tattoo?::_ The odd voices sounded curious.

"I know it means somethin'. I don't wanna just… intrude," Ichigo said earnestly.

_::If you're askin' permission, then you're not intrudin'.::_ The heads switched; the snaky tail was now staring at Ichigo while the other looked at the tall figure in the flowing cloak. _::Zangetsu?::_

_:They do seem to be rather attached to each other.:_

_::Rather.::_ There was a breathy chuckle. _::That's a powerful gesture, Ichigo. You sure 'bout this?::_

"Absolutely," Ichigo answered immediately.

_::Good.::_

"I was thinking," he began, "something like that, only that part over there with that part there, and…" Ichigo wondered how to describe the hazy image he had in his mind.

The creature extended a white limb, and before Ichigo's eyes an intricate design appeared. _::Somethin' like this?::_

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "It's perfect. How'd you do that?"

_:You really have to ask?:_

"Guess not," Ichigo smiled. "Thanks."

§

_**Omake**_  
Chapter 12 omake

Akuni: See, look! All you people who think I'm a Kira hater – I didn't kill him, or even harm him very badly.

Renji: Kira, ya all better now?

Kira: Yes, Abarai-kun. Unohana-taichou took good care of me.

Ichigo: Glad to hear it, 'cause we got a lotta stuff to talk about.

Renji: Hang on just a minute, Ichigo, I got somethin' t' ask Kira first before ya start talkin' 'bout work. (glances sideways at Akuni) Kira, are ya really ok? That thing hit ya pretty hard.

Kira: Did it? I suppose it must have. I… I don't really remember.

Renji: Ya don't remember?

Ichigo: How can you not remember that fight?

Kira: I just don't! (flushes)

Ichigo: You forgot bein' slammed to the ground by a giant tentacle and havin' all your energy suck— (coughs loudly) Well I guess that'd be a pretty traumatic thing, right Renji?

Renji: Uh, right!

Ichigo: And there was probably some head injury, right? (looks at Akuni)

Akuni: Oh… (eyes wide) Oh yes, definitely. Head injury. Hit the ground very hard. Broken ribs, cracked skull, that sort of thing.

Kira: Right. So I'll be going now… Ichigo, I'll be in my office when you need to discuss work. (leaves quickly)

Ichigo/Renji/Akuni: …

Renji: Did it… did it get away from ya, maybe?

Akuni: No, I swear I didn't do anything!

Ichigo: Then what's he all worked up about?

Akuni: I have _no_ idea.

Ichigo/Renji: You're the _author_, who else should know?!


	13. Chapter 13 Fortification

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 13 - Fortification  
**

"'Preciate this, Shuuhei," Ichigo thanked the shinigami who'd led him to the shop later that afternoon after Unohana had released him from the infirmary following his session with Kenpachi.

"No problem. You want me to stay?" Shuuhei offered. "It might be a bit of a shock, since you don't remember the last one."

Ichigo considered it, then shook his head. "Nah. Can't be any worse'n having my shoulders ripped apart by that torture device Renji calls a zanpakutou."

Shuuhei chuckled. "If you say so. In the heat of battle is one thing, but just sitting there? Try not to throw up on the guy." He left with another chuckle and a wave.

_Throw up?_ Ichigo really didn't remember being in this place before, not even a little. He entered the shop with a mental shrug. How bad could it be?

§

_-Later-_

"_Ow,_ sonuva…!"

"Hehe, that's what you said last time, too."

§

_-Even later-_

"Whoa…"

"You all right there, son?"

"Yeah 'm fine, just a li'l dizzy."

"Mm, don't worry, that happens pretty often. If you need to throw up there's—"

"I am _not_ gonna throw up."

§

_-And later still-_

"There, you're done."

Ichigo finally looked at the intricate design encircling his forearm. It was exactly the same as the sketch, exactly the same as the image in his head that the nue had manifested in his subconscious landscape.

"It's perfect," Ichigo marvelled, twisting his arm to get a better look at the whole thing. Excitement fluttered in his stomach. _Can't wait to show him._

"Remember what I told you about taking care of it," the man cautioned as he wrapped a light bandage around the new tattoo. "And try not to get it cut up before it has a chance to heal."

Ichigo grinned. "Thanks. I'll do my best not to get any disfiguring injuries in the next few days, but that's about the best I can promise."

The man waved him away, shaking his head and muttering under his breath about reckless heroes, but he was smiling to himself the entire time.

§

Ichigo shook his sleeve down as far as it would go, but he couldn't cover the bandage around his arm. He hoped no one would think much of it – shinigami walked around with bandages more often than not these days, especially those who were in battle as often as he was.

_Guess that's what we 'reckless heroes' do best – get cut up._ He grinned to himself.

As he approached the 5th Division headquarters, an alarm he hadn't heard before began to chime. There was no nervous energy spike, and no shinigami came boiling out of the buildings in a panic, so he hoped it wasn't anything too serious.

_Hope that's not somethin' I gotta worry about._ Ichigo tried to contain his excitement, but he thought he was probably failing miserably. He felt his own energy sparkling as he approached his destination.

The door to Renji's office opened under his hand. "Good timin', Ichigo. Let's go." Renji stepped into the hall, cursing as his cloak caught on a splinter on the door frame.

"Where are we going?" Ichigo asked as Renji bent to unhook himself.

"Hear that? It's for a senior officers' meeting." Renji straightened and turned back to face him.

"Is it serious? No one seems to be panicking or even in a hurry..."

Renji shrugged one shoulder uncertainly. "Probably nothin' urgent, but it's got t' be somethin' important – they don't often call in all the captains an' lieutenants at once." He reached to turn Ichigo around by the arm, but stopped abruptly when he noticed the bandage. "What… when'd ya get hurt? I didn't think the 3rd was on patrol today?"

"Ah, I'm not hurt," he hedged, pushing down the elation that threatened to rise up. He didn't really want to do this in the hallway with an alarm ringing.

Renji frowned. "Ichigo, if you're not hurt, why've ya got a bandage on your arm? An' why's your reiatsu all…_tingly?_"

Ichigo glanced around, then made a quick decision. He pushed Renji back into his office and closed the door behind them. The sound of the alarm was muffled but still faintly audible for a few more seconds before it stopped.

"Do we have a few minutes?" Ichigo asked the startled shinigami.

"Yeah, we got time, that was only the first call." Renji looked at him curiously. "What's goin' on?" He pointed to the bandage on Ichigo's arm. "What's this?"

Ichigo took a breath, then let it out slowly as he relaxed the controls on his dancing reiatsu. He began unwrapping the bandage as Renji's energy inevitably responded, filling the room with warmth and excitement.

"We live with a lotta change these days. Sometimes it's hard to deal with. I wanted to do somethin'… somethin' permanent, somethin', um, well _obvious_ isn't the right word, but maybe you'll know what I mean when ya see it." Ichigo pulled off the last layer and extended his arm to his lover.

Renji's eyes went very wide; trembling hands reached out, one hand grasping his lightly, one finger carefully tracing the skin beside the intricate tattoo encircling Ichigo's forearm.

The triple band began about three centimetres above Ichigo's right wrist, and was just over three centimetres wide. Two lines of linked zigzags bordered a wider central pattern of interlocked squared lines; the whole thing repeated around his arm. The bold patterns were very familiar, and very obviously matched the ones covering so much of Renji's skin.

"Ichigo, this is…" Renji breathed. A wide smile grew across his face as the multiple meanings of the gesture became clear. Ichigo could feel the stunned delight echoing through their meshed reiatsu.

Ichigo smiled back. "I've got your mark on me now. It's not goin' away, ever." He tightened his fingers around the hand still lingering under his and pulled Renji in close. "Some things really _are_ forever," he explained. "This's just a reminder."

"How did ya…" Renji was still clearly at a loss for words.

"I talked to Zangetsu about it, and I asked Zabimaru if—"

Renji blinked. "Ya… asked Zabimaru?"

"Zangetsu helped. I wanted to be sure, yanno. They're involved, too, so it wouldn't be right not to ask."

"Partners, all 'round," Renji agreed. He looked down again at the dark lines on Ichigo's arm. "Everyone's gonna see this," he said, his smile growing. "No way your sleeve'll hide it."

Ichigo leaned his head against Renji's, drawing his lover's eyes back up to his own. "That's part of the point."

The hand Renji raised to Ichigo's cheek was still shaking, but his grip was as firm as Ichigo's on his waist as they pressed their lips together. Their energies flared together for a moment before they hastily restrained their reactions.

Renji pulled him into a crushing embrace. "Love it," he spoke against Ichigo's shoulder. "I—"

The alert began to sound again. Renji swore softly under his breath. "That one means we got t' get goin'." His reluctance was evident as they separated.

"Help me put this back on, first." Ichigo held out the bandage, and together they rewrapped it securely.

"Ok, now we can go."

As they headed for the meeting, Ichigo found it more difficult than usual to hold back his reiatsu. The sparkling he'd felt – that Renji had said was _tingly_ – hadn't diminished. On top of that, he could feel the matching excitement in his lover's energy as well, feeding back to him through their light link.

"Quit ticklin' me," Renji muttered, lips twitching.

"I'm _not,_" Ichigo fought a grin of his own. "Not on purpose, anyway… I can't help it."

"Well _do_ somethin' 'bout it!" Renji whispered urgently, his voice cracking as he choked off what sounded suspiciously like a _giggle_. "We got t' stand next t' each other for this thing like at those captains' meetin's, an' if ya make me laugh while they're talkin' I swear I'm takin' ya down with me."

Ichigo bit back his own laughter and tried to focus on restoring some semblance of control to his projecting reiatsu.

"_Ichigo!_" Renji's hiss ended in a hiccup of laughter and he doubled over with his hand over his mouth.

"I'm _tryin'_... 's hard when your energy's givin' me feedback, too." Ichigo elbowed the silently snickering shinigami in the ribs. "Lock it down, will ya?" He was still struggling to keep his own mirth and excitement from erupting.

"Ok, ok. It ain't easy for me, either, with your energy crawlin' all over me."

They were right outside the door now, and they could sense most of the others had already assembled. With a supreme effort, they managed to compose themselves enough to lessen the spiritual feedback, which helped them bring the rest under control.

Once they were calmed, they entered and took their places. The arrangement was much the same as in the captains' meetings, with the lieutenants to the left of their captains, which – as Renji had noted – put them side by side again. Rukia and Kira were already there; Rukia gave them a suspicious look but said nothing as they stood silently with the others waiting for Yamamoto to arrive.

§

"The news is not what we had hoped." The old man swept his gaze across the room, marking every one of them with his attention. "It has been determined that the changes in Hueco Mundo cannot be reversed."

Troubled silence met this revelation.

"Furthermore…" Ichigo exchanged an apprehensive glance with Renji as Yamamoto continued – there was _more?_ "…it appears that attempting any further changes would be unadvisable. There is no way to predict how any more interference will manifest due to the unstable nature of the area, which as you all know has become more sensitive to change due to the alterations made during the war. There's a good chance any efforts on our part would just make the situation worse."

This time it was Ukitake who had the nerve to break the silence. "Genryuusai-dono… sensei… what does this mean?"

Resignation weighed heavily in the room as the old man succinctly delivered the bottom line. "This is the new state of things in Soul Society. We must now prepare ourselves to meet this challenge."

§

Ichigo didn't know what to think. He didn't understand much of the rather lengthy technical explanation given by the member of the Research and Development Institute, so he stopped paying attention and turned the revelations over in his mind. When Renji nudged him with an elbow at the end of the meeting, Ichigo didn't feel at all guilty – most of the others were similarly lost in their own thoughts.

"Yeah, ok. 5th is open," Renji replied to something Shuuhei had just said. He nodded across the room at Iba as well, before turning back to Ichigo.

"C'mon, let's go. If we hurry, we'll get there before the rest of 'em so we can talk 'bout this first ourselves." His face remained smooth, but Ichigo could see the concern in his lover's eyes – he could obviously feel the unease that was growing in Ichigo's gut.

"Right."

Ichigo was relieved once they were safely in Renji's private office; he sat on the edge of Renji's desk as the shinigami locked the door behind them. He didn't know how to explain his unsettled feeling, but he knew he owed it to them both to try. "Renji, I—" Ichigo broke off in confusion as Renji turned and embraced him without a word.

Their blended energies spoke more eloquently than they ever could. Fear, anger, and uncertainty were shared between them, but underlying it all was a solid base of love and support that kept them from being swept away by despair. The rapid heartbeats and the tremors in both their bodies calmed as they held each other tightly.

"I'm so glad ya did that today." Renji touched the bandage on Ichigo's arm as he pulled back. "Thinkin' 'bout what ya said, what ya meant – that got me through that meetin'. Right now we all got t' remember we ain't fightin' alone."

Ichigo nodded. "Whatever it takes, whatever you need me to do."

"Just keep doin' what you're doin', an' together we'll flatten 'em all." They wrapped their arms around each other again, resting their heads comfortably on each others' shoulders. Renji was right, of course. It had always been that way between them – anything was possible as long as they stuck together.

Ichigo felt calmer now, but there was still one thing worrying at him deep inside. Sometime he _would_ have to go back, and leave everyone here to fight alone again. He'd planned to stay until the conflict was resolved, but now…

The disturbance in Ichigo's energy must have given away his thoughts. Renji spoke softly in his ear. "An' ya know, Ichigo, when ya gotta go back, you'll have somethin' solid t' remind ya."

Relief swept through Ichigo as Renji verbalized the confusion that had unsettled him. "I guess, once everything is under control here, since it's not gonna change… Eventually I'll hafta go back," Ichigo said reluctantly.

"An' I'll miss ya like I'd miss an arm. But we'll still have each other, an' beside that nothin' else matters." The kiss they shared was heartfelt, soothing away their worries and lightening their shared mood as they reminded each other what was really important.

Their interlude was unfortunately brief; they felt the approach of a couple of high level shinigami, and they broke apart with twin sighs.

"An' it was just gettin' good, too," Renji grumbled good-naturedly.

"Try'n hold that thought 'til later," Ichigo grinned. "You're the one who decided to do this here."

Renji grinned back. "Remind me next time not t' do somethin' so dumb, then."

They left the private office to meet the visitors in the main hall. Shuuhei and Kira were soon followed by other friends and officers as the word spread around Seireitei. The impromptu gathering was informal but serious as the sober reality of the situation was dissected and discussed for hours.

§

When the meeting broke up, only Rukia remained in the hall with them. Renji was looking forward to going home and showing Ichigo just how much he loved his new decoration, but Rukia stopped them before they could head out.

"Before you go, could I see you both in the office? It'll only take a minute."

Renji exchanged a curious glance with Ichigo before following their friend to her desk. "What's this about, Rukia?"

Rukia pulled a small, flat package out of her desk and handed it to them with a smile. "This was done months ago, but with everything that's been going on, it kept getting pushed aside."

"What is it?" He examined the back of the package while Ichigo inspected the front.

"Open it and find out!" she said eagerly.

"I think we're in trouble," Ichigo stage whispered as they began unwinding the cloth. "She's got that 'sparkly' look in her eyes again!"

Renji chuckled. "Maybe it's blackmail?"

"Have we done anythin' lately that's worthy of blackmail?"

"Nope, an' that's a real shame…" he trailed off as the final layer of cloth fell away. "Rukia, what…?"

Nestled inside protective layers of soft material were two framed photographs. They were identical, and though he'd never seen them before, Renji immediately recognized their setting. He ran one finger down over the image of Ichigo and himself standing close together in front of the portal that had sent Ichigo back to the living world at the end of the summer.

_We look good together._ He smiled.

"I know you don't have any pictures together, and I wanted you both to have something," Rukia explained. "I was going to send one to you after you left, Ichigo, for your wall, but you came back so soon I decided to save it for another time."

"But… we were all there together that day, how'd ya do this?" Renji asked, tearing his eyes off the photograph to look inquisitively at his oldest friend.

"Ah…" Rukia wore a guilty little grin. "I borrowed Nanao's camera, and asked Yumichika to take the picture while I made sure you two were distracted."

"Yumichika did this?" Ichigo's eyebrows rose.

"He was so happy to be asked to help, and you have to admit," Rukia gave them a crooked smile, "he's got an eye for beauty."

Renji snorted a laugh at the tired joke. "Bet ya anythin' he arm twisted Shuuhei t' help."

"No bet," Ichigo grinned. "Yumichika's got the same sparkly eyes _she_ does," he pointed at Rukia. "You just can't win against those."

"Rukia, these're great," Renji stooped to accept their petite friend's hug. "Thanks."

She gave Ichigo the same back-stretching embrace. "I'm glad you like them." Rukia smiled and wished them a good night before leaving them alone in the office.

Renji dropped his gaze to the photograph again. "Some sneaky friends we got."

Ichigo peered over Renji's shoulder, one arm slipping comfortably around his waist. "I'm glad, these are terrific." Their reiatsu tingled pleasantly, the excitement they'd stifled earlier quickly returning. "Maybe I should take lessons," he continued. "I had no idea they were there."

"We could practice bein' sneaky, too."

"How?"

Renji turned to grin at his lover. "Well I still haven't shown ya my appreciation yet," he touched Ichigo's bandaged arm.

Ichigo flashed across the room to lock the office door.

§

**_Omake_**  
Chapter 13 omake

Renji: That's just too damn cool. stares at Ichigo's tattoo gleefully

Ichigo: I appreciate that you like it, but can I have my arm back?

Akuni: Hehe!


	14. Chapter 14 Proposition

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 14 - Proposition**

_Why do I hafta be here?_ Ichigo stood between Kira and Renji, wondering again why he had to attend this captains' meeting. So far he hadn't been called on for anything, and he hadn't heard anything he didn't already know.

Mayuri wound down his long-winded report on whatever it was that he'd dissected this week, and Yamamoto took control of the meeting again.

"Now there is one final matter we must address." The old man looked at Kira briefly before continuing to address the room. "In light of the current, permanent situation in Hueco Mundo, it has been decided that the 3rd Division is in need of an official captain."

Ichigo blinked in surprise. _That's what this is about? Kira's gettin' promoted?_ He glanced at his blonde friend – Kira looked equally surprised, and shrugged unknowingly.

"Kira-dono has done his best to lead the Division, but we believe it's time for a change. The required approval has been achieved." Yamamoto's eyes swept the room, and landed squarely on Ichigo.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, we invite you to stay and take over permanently as Captain of the 3rd Division."

Ichigo went numb.

§

Renji reeled. His stunned senses registered shock, disbelief, and a hint of outright panic from Ichigo before it was abruptly cut off. He resisted the urge to reach out and steady the man beside him as he swayed momentarily. Instead, he looked around the room to try and gauge the reactions of the other captains.

Shuuhei met Renji's darting eyes and shook his head unnecessarily – the startled look on his face was proof enough that he hadn't been aware of this decision. A glance at Kira revealed surprise – and approval? Renji couldn't stop to think about that right now. He shifted his attention to the other side of the room, and met Kuchiki Byakuya's indigo gaze. The noble held himself as aloof as ever, but Renji hadn't watched the man for so many years without learning how to read him. A nod as imperceptible as the one he'd delivered in response to their defence of the 3rd Division all those months ago… the subtle curve of his mouth that wasn't even the ghost of a smile. He'd known, and he'd approved.

"Six captains have given their personal recommendations. Three others have agreed." Yamamoto was still speaking, but Renji wasn't sure if Ichigo was even hearing him until he stepped forward to face the old man directly.

"When do you require my decision, Yamamoto-sou-taichou?" Ichigo's voice was steady, though the corners of his eyes were tense.

"There is a three month window. We cannot have a Division continue now without official leadership for any longer than that."

"I understand. Thank you." Ichigo bowed formally and stepped back into his place. Outwardly he was calm, but Renji could read Ichigo even better than he could his former captain, and he didn't need to feel the tension in their infinitesimal spiritual link to recognize the signs of an imminent explosion.

"That is all for today. Dismissed." The captains filed out of the room. Renji walked out with Ichigo silently at his side.

§

Ichigo sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. He'd held it together until they reached the safety and privacy of their quarters, and then his mind started spinning in circles.

_They want me to stay?_

"Shuuhei an' Kira didn't know." Renji clearly had no clue what to say. "Kuchiki-taichou… I think he's one a' the ones who recommended ya."

_They want me to stay!_

"Huh." Ichigo thought he should be surprised by that, but somehow he wasn't.

_My family…_

Renji's arm behind his stiff back was tentative, and he appreciated the gesture somewhere in the back of his mind. They sat without speaking for a long time.

_My Division… Renji…_

The conflicting emotions Ichigo felt swirling in his lover's energy matched his own.

_What the hell am I supposed to do?! How do I choose?!_

"What do you think I should do?" Ichigo regretted the question as soon as it left his lips, but he couldn't stop himself. He needed to know.

"It ain't about me," Renji began hesitantly.

"Like hell it ain't!" Ichigo scowled. "This's got a lot to do with you. If I stay, our life here together becomes permanent. If I go…" he swallowed heavily, "…if I go, we go back to how it was last year. Only a lot harder, and I…" he choked on the guilt rising in him.

"I… I don't want ya t' think 'bout that. Least not right now… other things're more important." Ichigo heard the strain in his lover's voice, and felt the barely-contained flare of reiatsu.

Ichigo leaned into the arm supporting him and nodded against his lover's shoulder. "I know, but—" he struggled to get the words out, but they refused to leave his throat.

"No buts," Renji told him gently. "That don't matter."

Ichigo gritted his teeth. "I don't wanna leave anyone behind…" The dam burst; Ichigo hadn't felt this lost in years. "Not my family, not my life… my _whole damn life._" His knuckles went white as he clutched his knees. "But how can I turn my back on this? I'm needed here – that's what I said when I dropped everythin' to come back. I don't wanna leave things unfinished, don't wanna leave _my Division_ to fight without me… don't wanna leave my life here, or _you_." The guilt swelled again as tried to reconcile the pieces of his heart and soul.

Renji pried Ichigo's fingers open, removing the crumpled material and offering his hand instead. Ichigo squeezed it gratefully.

"It don't matter how long ya stay. None a' that changes how we feel. I got ya with me right here," he touched his heart, "an' that's forever, so don't ya go thinkin' 'bout that." Renji had never sounded more desperate or more sincere, and it tore at Ichigo's heart. "We got forever, an' it don't matter when forever starts. I _need_ ya t' understand that." The dark eyes never wavered as they stared intently into his.

"I do, I _do_." He really did understand that, and part of him felt more guilty for even asking in the first place, but this was too big of a decision for him to make without discussing it with the most important person in his life. It was irrational and stupid, but a little voice in the back of his mind wanted to hear something less mature and reasonable from his lover. _I want you to want me to stay!_ He immediately banished the shameful thought, but not before a trickle of the rejection he was feeling filtered down through their link. "I didn't mean that, Renji…" he said anxiously.

Renji swore softly. "I know, I know." He took a deep breath. "I want… this can't be 'bout what I want, it's gotta be 'bout what _you_ want." The tremor in Renji's voice sent a shaft of anguish through him. "I don't want ya t' give up your whole life. An' at the same time…" Renji struggled for a moment, then sighed. "I do want ya t' stay here with me," he whispered. "That's what I want, but I can't have both, so I just want ya t' be _sure,_ either way. Don't want ya t' ever wonder if ya made the right choice."

Ichigo clutched his lover's hand more tightly; Renji squeezed back reassuringly. They sat in silence for a moment while Ichigo collected his scattered thoughts. "It's just… so many people are counting on me, and I can't be there for them _all_." Ichigo was suddenly annoyed at the thought of being pulled in so many directions at once.

He'd never minded people needing him before, but the one person _he_ needed to need _him_ wasn't letting that be an excuse. The guilt and confusion gave way to resentment and a growing urgency to make it all just go away. "This's a helluva thing to spring on a guy without warning," he growled.

"Don't let the bastards push ya into a corner." Renji's matching frustration was evident in his tone and the energy that resonated between them. "Sleep on it for now," he suggested. "You'll know better what t' do in the mornin'."

"Probably. I don't think I can sleep yet, though." The panicked need to feel something other than frustration and confusion was powerful, and the distressed feedback he was getting from Renji just made it stronger. _I need you to need me, too, dammit!_ Ichigo tugged at Renji's robes. "Maybe you can help me with that." _I can't feel like this on my own!_ The absurd thought refused to go away.

"I think I can do that." Calloused hands cupped the back of his neck, pulling him close. Renji's eyes reflected the hurt and frustration Ichigo felt boiling inside him.

_Why don't you ask me to stay?_ His mind shrieked even as he slid his fingers over his lover's heated skin. The mouth on his neck knew all the right tricks, and his body responded to the familiar contact. Turbulent emotions flooded their combined energies, fuelling the urgent need, but for the first time the warmth and affection was missing as they grabbed for each other.

_Tell me what you want me to do!_ Ichigo thought desperately, the feelings bubbling up inside him and echoing back at him from Renji. His head spun from the spiritual feedback, and he tightened his grip on his lover's robes to steady himself.

His frustration grew stronger at the surge of unhappiness rising in their reiatsu. _Don't feel that way, not about me! _He pressed closer, trying to erase their sadness with a kiss. Renji still mirrored Ichigo's own hurt and confusion, and a small sob was muffled against Ichigo's lips.

_Make it stop!_ The ache in his heart was joined by a stabbing pain in his head as anger lanced through their stormy reiatsu like acid, and they cried out together in agony.

It was the pain and anger that shocked Ichigo back to himself; he felt Renji recoil at the same time, and they drew apart in anguish, appalled that they'd hurt each other. Anger was swept away by a wave of shared shame and remorse.

"This…" Ichigo grimaced; he felt ill. "This is…"

"…a bad idea." Renji agreed, looking equally disturbed.

"I can't believe I…" Ichigo swallowed heavily. "I am so sorry."

"Takes two," Renji whispered hoarsely. "Just as much my fault."

Ichigo extended a shaking hand, and was relieved when Renji clasped it unhesitatingly. "I just want to forget that I hafta deal with this," he sighed and dropped his head into his other hand. "But that's not an option, is it?"

"Well, no, but maybe ya can put it aside for just a li'l while," Renji suggested. "I know ya ain't eaten yet, an' that can't be helpin'." He tugged Ichigo's hand away from his face and pulled him into the kitchen.

Renji dished out leftovers randomly, pushing a heaping plate into Ichigo's hands before settling at the table. Ichigo picked half-heartedly at his food, struggling to swallow each bite.

"Ya know," Renji began thoughtfully, "ya might wanna talk t' your old man 'bout this."

Ichigo started. He hadn't even thought of that. Isshin had faced a similar decision, giving up one life to take on another. The reasons were different but the end result was the same.

"I… that's a good idea." Another thought occurred to Ichigo then, one that calmed him immensely. "There's no rush…"

"That's right! Yamamoto said ya got a few months t' decide," Renji sounded as relieved as Ichigo felt.

"As long as I don't take all year t' make up my mind…"

"Ya don't need t' make a choice tonight," Renji finished for him. "Or tomorrow, or the next day. They want ya for the job, so they're gonna want ya t' be sure." His eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Seems t' me ya got the upper hand in this situation, Ichigo, so I think ya should use it."

Ichigo hadn't thought of it quite that way, but he realized that Renji had hit the exact point they needed to remember. "I've got the upper hand," he repeated, "but I still don't know what to do with it." Ichigo snorted and resumed picking at his food.

Something soft hit Ichigo right on the cheek. Startled, he looked up only to see Renji's head bowed innocently over his plate.

"What…?" He picked the remains of a rice ball out of his lap. The twitch of Renji's shoulders gave him away completely.

Ichigo put down his utensils and calmly wiped his cheek. Then he stood, and picked up a handful of his unwanted dinner while very deliberately tipping over a glass of water, sending it splashing toward the shinigami.

"Hey!" Renji stood quickly to avoid the spill. He looked up, opening his mouth to protest, and…

…Ichigo nailed him square in the face.

"Oh, ya did _not_ just—" Renji grabbed his plate and spun away as Ichigo reached for another handful.

He forgot everything as his world narrowed to dodging and aiming. For a few minutes, he didn't have to actually _feel_ anything.

Ichigo ran out of food to fling; he looked around hastily, but Renji's laughter stopped him. The shinigami was covered in the remains of their dinner, but he was smiling as he pulled the tie out of his hair, shaking it out and raining rice down onto the floor.

The ridiculousness of the situation seeped into Ichigo's brain, and he couldn't help joining in with a weak chuckle of his own.

"That was so childish." Ichigo looked for a clean spot on his uniform to wipe his hands.

"Yup."

Ichigo snorted, amused despite the gravity of his situation. "Idiot."

"S'good for ya."

"Yeah," he laughed. "You're still a bastard, though."

Ichigo swept the food off the floor while Renji fetched a handful of towels to mop up the mess on the walls. They cleaned up the worst of it, then called it good enough for now and sank tiredly onto the couch.

They talked through as many of Ichigo's options as they could think of, but in the end Ichigo was still sitting with a decision that he had to make alone. Ichigo didn't notice that he'd started repeating himself until he asked Renji for the third time who he thought would be chosen to lead the 3rd Division if he didn't take the captain's seat.

Renji gave him a sympathetic look. "Should probably try t' sleep now," he suggested. "Not gonna resolve this in one night, an' ya got a lot a' people t' talk with still."

"I still don't think I can sleep," Ichigo said ruefully. "My head's too full of ifs and whys and hows."

"Well…" Renji ran a tentative hand down his back. "Maybe we really can do somethin' 'bout that now?"

"You sure about that?" Ichigo did _not_ want to go down that road again.

"Not angry anymore, are ya?" Ichigo shook his head. "Me either. And…" Renji leaned in close, his breath in Ichigo's ear making him shiver. "You put this damn rice in my hair, now ya gotta help me get it out." He jumped up – he really _was_ still raining rice – and started shedding his clothes as he headed for the bath.

"I am _not_ givin' you a bath!" Ichigo yelled after him. "You started it, wash your own damn hair!"

"Fine, fine." Renji's reply drifted back. "It'll just take me that much longer t' get cleaned up, an' you'll have t' wait…"

_He fights dirty._ Ichigo shook his head and smiled as he peeled off his own clothes.

§

_This's unbelievable._ Renji was wide awake only a few hours later, unable to sleep again. He wanted to pace around the room but didn't want to wake the sleeping Ichigo. He settled for wrapping himself in a light robe and sitting on the couch, tapping his fingers together nervously as the thoughts raced around his mind.

_I dunno what t' think._

_He's gotta know it won't change anythin' either way. But I can't be involved in this decision. It ain't fair t' him _or_ me._

Renji sighed quietly. _I love him, with everythin' I got. I want him t' be happy. I want us both t' be happy. But I dunno how t' make that happen._

_I want him t' have a full life, the one he was meant t' have._

_I want him t' be with me forever._

_I want… I dunno what I want, all I know's I don't want him t' have any regrets 'bout whatever he decides. I want t' make it so there's never, ever a single doubt that it don't make a difference t' my feelin's if forever starts today or tomorrow or a hundred years from now. _

_This's permanent, I know he knows that. He didn't hafta prove it but he did it anyway._ Renji smiled. _Been wantin' t' do somethin' 'bout that, too, and now's the perfect time._

Renji thought for several long minutes before he ceased his fidgeting. He went to the desk and quickly sketched something before returning to the couch.

He took a deep breath. "Oi, Zabimaru."

_:Took ya long enough.:_ The white form blurred into existence.

"Don't be a jackass 'bout it. Whaddaya think?"

_:Why're you askin' me?:_

"'Cause for some stupid reason I value your opinion."

_:It's not my opinion you need – you already know how I feel 'bout it. Or you should, anyway.:_

Renji folded his arms. "Ok then, 'cause I dunno how t' ask Zangetsu myself!"

_:Ya really are slow sometimes, arentcha?:_ The snaky tail whipped around in a laughing circle.

"Yeah, yeah, so I'm slow sometimes. What's that say 'bout _you?_"

_::It says he's well-matched to you, I think.::_ A tall, imposing figure materialized in the room, his dark coat fluttering in an unfelt breeze.

Renji stood. "Zangetsu," he bowed politely. He'd seen this manifestation before, but they'd never really interacted.

:_:Renji.::_

"I dunno how much Zabimaru's told ya, but," he swallowed nervously, "I know Ichigo had a.. a conversation with ya both a while back. 'Bout these," he pointed at the tattoos on his chest, visible through the loose folds of his robe. "'Bout what they mean, an' what it means t' share 'em."

_::Yes. Partners should share important symbols. Just as you and Zabimaru share those markings as a symbol of your bond.::_

"Yeah, I think so, too. An' I wanna return the gesture, ya know? It's important t' me t' have somethin' that reflects that. Just as important as these." Again he pointed to the intricate designs on his body.

_::An appropriate sentiment.::_

"But you an' Ichigo, you're not marked in the same way," Renji continued. "Well, ya got the same coat, but that ain't the kinda statement I'm goin' for here," he grinned.

_:You'd look dumb in that coat,:_ Zabimaru put in with a wheezy sort of laugh.

"Shaddap, idiot," Renji muttered. "Tryin' t' talk with Zangetsu." He turned his attention back to the tall figure. "So I was wonderin' if ya'd mind…" he unfolded the piece of paper with his quick sketch on it.

_:Not bad, not bad.:_ Zabimaru sounded impressed. _:You're not totally hopeless, after all. Zangetsu?:_

_::You honour the bonds between us all,::_ Zangetsu approved. He smiled faintly, then faded away.

"Well that was easier'n I expected," Renji let out a relieved breath. "'Preciate your help."

_:No big deal. Oh, and in case you really need it spelled out… I like it. He's good for you – ya make a good team.:_

"Thanks, Zabimaru." He dropped their usual banter, trying to convey the depth of his gratitude for his fighting partner's support.

_:You're welcome.:_ The nue vanished.

Renji smiled. He hid the sketch in a stack of 5th Division files on his desk before dropping his robe and crawling back into bed beside Ichigo. He fell asleep easily, with a solid plan in his mind ready for the morning.

§

_**Omake**_  
Chapter 14 omake

Akuni: (quietly) Sorry guys. Never wanted to see you that upset, but this is such a big deal, it's got to be overwhelming.

Ichigo: Oh it's overwhelming all right.

Renji: Ya did what had t' be done, an' then ya moved past it. I think I still got rice in my hair…

Akuni: (laughs a little)

Renji: Cheer up, ok? S'only one scene, and it don't change a thing. We still love each other, an' we're never gonna lose that.

Ichigo: No matter what, that won't _ever_ change. And we'll never hurt each other on purpose – doin' it by accident was awful enough. (puts his arm around Renji)

Akuni: (smiling again) Thanks. I do know that, I just sometimes get caught up.

Renji: That's ok, you're entitled.

Ichigo; Yep. If you need to, just remember that I love this guy enough to let him throw food down my shirt. (grins)

Renji: C'mon, I still have _rice_ in my _hair!_ _That's_ love! (smirks)

Ichigo: You started it!

Renji: I couldn't help it, ya just sat there all sad, broke my heart, I had t' do somethin'.

Akuni: Uh, guys…

Ichigo: Somethin' like chucking a rice ball at my head? (extends reiatsu)

Renji: Well it was—gah that tickles, don't do that!—the rice or the soup! Ahh! (squirms and laughs) Ichi, quit it!

Ichigo/Renji: (wrestling on the couch)

Akuni: I get it, you're happy, you're in love. You don't have to go overboard.

Ichigo: Oh are you still—ahaha Renji, not _there!_

Renji: (chuckles)

Akuni: Oook, I think I'm done here. (giggles)

-elsewhere-

Zangetsu: We're certainly getting a lot more screen time in this story.

Zabimaru: Still not enough! All that stuff about 'fighting partners' and we hardly get to play at all. I only got to come out in bankai twice, and once was just practice.

Zangetsu: But you did fairly well in that scene, as I recall.

Zabimaru: Che… you're just sayin' that to make me feel better. It's a lot more work for me – I need a fight to really shine! All you hafta do is stand there and look imposing.

Zangetsu: I've been meaning to speak with you about that. (delicately) Have you ever considered an image change?

Zabimaru: Eh? What about my image?

Zangetsu: That whole 'fur cape and giant bone snake' thing is a little… rough around the edges.

Zabimaru: 'Rough around the edges'? Least I don't shrink away to nothin'!

Zangetsu: (ignores the jab) The tattoos are more than enough of a statement. Perhaps a more elegant, refined bankai would help, like ours.

Zabimaru: Refined? Hi, I don't believe we've met – I'm Zabimaru, I hang out with Abarai Renji. Yanno, former street rat, 'rough around the edges', friends with Houzukimaru's crude buddy.And don't ya dare start on the tattoos… or do I hafta remind you how much your elegant, refined Ichigo—

Zangetsu: All right! Point taken!

Zabimaru: I think we look damn good.

Zangetsu: I give up. (shakes head)


	15. Chapter 15 Determination

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 15 - Determination**

Renji fully intended to rise early and attend to the plan he'd made the night before, but something else came up when he awoke. Two something elses, to be precise. _It'd be a shame not t' take advantage a' the extra time this mornin'._ He sat up and stretched lazily before running a hand down his sleeping lover's neck.

"Why do you keep gettin' up so early?" The bright orange head turned, and sleepy brown eyes blinked at him.

"I got a good reason this time." Renji leaned over to capture soft lips with his own.

"You woke me up early for a kiss?" Ichigo sounded a bit surprised, but moved closer for another.

"Not quite." He lay back down and slipped one hand down low beneath the blankets.

Ichigo laughed, gasping a bit when he was squeezed. "You woke me up early to grope me?"

Renji grinned. "That, too."

"What _do_ you want, then?" Ichigo rolled over to face him, rubbing a hand over Renji's stomach, teasing him. The way their energies were humming made the entire conversation unnecessary, but it was more fun to play the game out.

"Want _you._"

"You're gonna hafta be a little more specific than that, Renji." Ichigo was still teasing him, deliberately brushing nearer his groin with the back of his hand. "I'm still pretty tired after last night, and I'm not fully awake yet, so ya gotta tell me what ya want. I'm pretty hungry, and I'm startin' to think about breakfast."

_Gonna be one a' those times, eh?_ Renji stretched out his long form again, making sure to dislodge the blankets down to their feet as he did. "Want sex." He reached both hands out fondle his playful lover, earning a shiver as the game was nearly washed away in the desire flooding through their reiatsu.

"I can see that much." Ichigo's breath caught, and he gave up the teasing in favour of a firm grip and long, slow strokes. "But maybe just one more hint would help."

Renji shifted, pulling Ichigo up with him as he rolled over and sat back on his heels. He separated each word of his request with another kiss and a squeeze. "Gimme – sex – now – please. Need ya bad, so just _do me_ already!"

Ichigo groaned and the game dissolved under a storm of lust. "Hell yeah." His mouth pressed forward eagerly, their tongues sliding around each other in a familiar dance as he reached blindly for the small bottle they kept on the nearby shelf. "Turn over," Ichigo suggested as they broke apart.

He was only too happy to comply. "Ya know me too damn well." Renji gasped as cool, slick fingers slipped into him easily. "How do ya always know—ahh, _fuck!_" He arched his back, quivering with pleasure as Ichigo curled his fingers just right.

A soft bite on the back of his neck sent another shiver through his whole body. "I know _you_. I know when you wanna make love for hours, and I know when you wanna be fucked into the floor." Ichigo's hand on his hip was steady, though his energy pulsed with the passion that drove them both.

"So which is it…" Renji panted, resisting the urge to push himself back as his lover slid inside him, filling him completely and soothing the aching need within him. "…this time?"

"Somewhere in between." Ichigo pulled back, then dove in again deeply. "You feel – _nngh!_ – so damn good!" He moved slowly and steadily, occasionally shifting to strike that spot inside that sent a stab of intense pleasure through him.

Renji groaned at the intensity of the heat racing through the air between them like lightning. Unable to hold back any longer, he braced himself firmly and rocked back into each thrust.

"Guess I was wrong… or you changed your mind."

"Just… _ahh…_ want _more…_" he panted. Ichigo obliged, giving him the hard, quick thrusts he suddenly craved. "Don't stop… _ahh…_ Ichigo!"

He was barely aware when his cries of pleasure turned into his lover's name. A few quick pumps was all it took to send him careening over the edge, giving up control and letting his body do what it wanted as his vision hazed over.

"You're definitely right 'bout that," Ichigo's hand continued working over his still-aroused flesh, driving into him even faster as he neared his own release. "Hearin' your own name on your lover's lips as—" he broke off with a low groan, bucking sharply a few times as he rode out the second wave of pleasure that spilled through their link.

Hearing his name gasped out as his lover proved the point sent another shudder through Renji's overheated body. He let his limbs collapse when Ichigo fell to his side, breathing hard; he sank into the twisted bedding with a moan. They'd _just_ finished, and his body still wanted more.

_Gimme a break!_ Renji rolled over onto his back and tried to calm himself with slow, deep breaths. He shut his eyes and tried to think of mountains of paperwork waiting on his desk, but the warmth of the body beside him and the reiatsu tangled with his own kept intruding. _C'mon, smarten up. Got a lot a' stuff t' do today that don't include spendin' the mornin' in bed!_

Ichigo's low laugh pulled Renji's eyes open again, and destroyed his attempt at calming his libido. His lover was stretched out on his side, casually running his eyes over Renji's uncovered form.

"What's so funny?" he asked, even though he knew damn well what had the other man so amused.

Ichigo smirked at him. "Was it _that_ bad that you need more already?" One finger ran lightly down the inky marks on Renji's abdomen, making him shiver.

"No, it was that damn _good,_" he groaned, hips twitching involuntarily as his lover bent and engulfed him in the wet heat of his mouth. "Oh _fuck_ that feels good!"

"Hmm."Ichigo shifted over and began leaving a trail of bruising kisses across his stomach and chest, pausing briefly to nibble on each small nipple in turn. The energy around them crackled.

"Thought ya wanted breakfast?" Renji tilted his head back as the mouth on his chest moved higher to feast on his neck. His hands wandered down smooth skin, sliding down over his lover's slim waist to grab hold of the firm backside.

"I want somethin' else now," came the muffled reply. "And I want you to give it to me."

The ardent demand and hard flesh rubbing his hip made him burn even more. "Well if ya want me that bad, how can I refuse?" The lips on his neck crossed his jaw and cheek, finally finding his; he slid one hand around to massage the arousal pressed against him.

The mouth on his opened to his probing tongue. He explored slowly, sliding over the smooth interior and savouring his lover's taste. _I could do this all damn day._ Renji drew Ichigo's tongue into his own mouth, nibbling and sucking until he coaxed a low moan from the man leaning over him.

He looped his leg up and around Ichigo's, shifting his weight and turning them both over until he was kneeling above his orange-haired lover. Renji let his hands trace a path over the smooth chest heaving beneath him, brushing the ever-sensitive nubs on the way down to lift one of the lean legs over his shoulder.

Fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his head down for another breath-stealing kiss as another leg wrapped itself around his waist.

"Now who needs more?" Renji's voice was a low rumble as he murmured against swollen lips.

"Me." Ichigo pulled him down further. "I need more of you, and I _know_ ya need more of me."

"Can't argue with that." He poured a generous amount of the slippery substance from the bottle that was pushed into his hand. His probing fingers entered with one soft press against willing flesh.

As he twisted his fingers, Renji bent to graze on his lover's pale skin, making sure to leave behind a small mark in the crook of his neck where it would _just_ be covered by the uniform. After all this time, he still got a huge thrill out of knowing his powerful lover welcomed the marks he left on his body.

Insistent hands below his waist were making it difficult to concentrate on anything but the lust racing through their energies. Ichigo's groan of pleasure as he pressed firmly upward was more than he could take.

"Enough," Ichigo panted, echoing his desire. "Want to feel all of you." The way his lover was fondling him, there was no way Renji could hold out. He quickly ran a still-slick hand down and allowed his body to be drawn in flush against Ichigo's as he pushed himself inside.

Renji groaned, watching with passion-clouded eyes as the tight heat surrounded him completely. "Every time," he sighed. "Every damn time." He tore his gaze away from the incredible sight of their joined bodies to stare into the warm brown eyes.

"Before, I needed ya so bad, I didn't want ya t' stop, but… now I can't get enough a' _this._ I love bein' here inside you." Renji had once thought he talked too much during sex, but Ichigo enjoyed it, so he'd stopped worrying and just let the words flow.

These particular words seemed to trigger something in his lover – Ichigo's breath caught as they began to move. "Maybe we should… _hngh_… try for both at once sometime," he gasped, his hips rising up as he meet each long, deep stroke.

"Sure," Renji's short laugh turned into a sharp breath as their bodies rocked in sync. He gave up speech, and focused on the feel of the smoothly muscled arms around him and the sensations burning between them. The tension built slowly as they moved together, savouring each brush of skin against skin.

Another tug at the hair falling loose around his face brought their lips together again. Ichigo's tongue dove into his mouth, mimicking the rhythm of Renji's thrusts; in and out, softer and harder, slower and faster.

He couldn't refuse the increased pace as Ichigo's tongue made love to his mouth, or the soft noise that escaped him when that tongue lapped hungrily at his own. Kissing was something Renji never tired of; the feel of those lips against his own and Ichigo's unique taste were irresistibly arousing. Desire washed over him with each caressing sweep, and his body started to tremble.

He shifted, angling his hips to slide himself directly over that spot he knew would send an intense burst of pleasure through his lover's whole body. A writhing shudder was his reward; a heel dug into his back, demanding more, and the hands gripping his hair and hip tightened noticeably.

Mouths fell open against each other; short, heavy breaths shared the same air as they approached the peak. Renji opened his eyes, uncertain of when they'd closed but wanting to watch as the ecstasy claimed them.

Ichigo's moan sent shivers down his back and spun him toward his release. "So close, Renji… right... there…" He saw the flash of exquisite pleasure in the widening eyes, and moved quickly to stroke the hard flesh between them.

The body beneath his stiffened, warmth splashing over his hand and stomach. A few more hard thrusts and Renji was lost in another wave that robbed him of everything but the euphoria shooting through him, reflecting back from Ichigo through their meshed reiatsu. He knew he cried out, but he couldn't hear it over his heartbeat thudding in his ears.

Renji barely had time for thought as he collapsed yet again, this time into Ichigo's weary embrace.

_Good thing we got up early…_

…

He was shocked awake by Ichigo's startled yell.

"Crap is that the time?" Ichigo shot out of bed. "Shit, I'm gonna be late!"

Renji sat up more slowly, and ran a hand through his tangled hair. "Can't be _that_ late, I woke up earl—" he broke off as he stared at the clock. "Oh shit!"

They scrambled to wash and dress; thankfully their uniforms were more or less the same size, so they just grabbed randomly from the stack of clean laundry. Breakfast was no longer an option as they flashed as fast as they could to their respective duties.

§

"Lunch, finally, I'm starved!" Ichigo sighed with relief as Renji entered his office just after noon. "Thanks to _you_ I didn't get much supper last night, _or_ breakfast. I thought this morning was never gonna end."

Renji grinned at him unrepentantly as he set their lunch on the desk. "Yeah well that makes us even then, 'cause thanks t' _you_ I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Yeah," he chuckled as he sat on the edge of his desk and snatched at the food. "Wait, what?" Ichigo looked up and eyed the shinigami curiously, noticing a heightened sense of excitement in the energy he projected. "We got enough sle—" His mouth went dry as Renji held up a bandaged arm.

"Had a lot a' thinkin' t' do. Had a chat with Zabimaru last night," Renji said casually, unwrapping the bandage. "And... Zangetsu."

_He didn't…_ "You…" Ichigo reached out with fingers that only shook a little as the end of the bandage fell away.

_…He did._ "Renji…"

The tattoos winding around Renji's upper arm used to end near his elbow. Now a thick, twisted ribbon ran from the tail of the final stripe, wrapping around his arm again and connecting to the hilt of a very familiar zanpakutou inked on the underside. It was nearly half the length of his forearm, Zangetsu's point resting atop the pulse point of Renji's wrist.

"This's permanent," Renji stated forcefully. "Just like us. You got my mark on you, and now I got your mark on me." He reached out and gripped the bandage over the band encircling Ichigo's arm. "These don't change anythin' between us, not really. They're just reminders, like ya said. But right now I'm gonna make ya a promise t' go with 'em."

"You don't hafta—" Ichigo began, overwhelmed by the sudden rush of emotion in his lover's energy.

"I know I don't – that's why I _am_." Ichigo tried to follow that odd bit of logic, and he almost had it before Renji's next words swept it away.

"No matter what ya decide, even if ya decide t' go back tomorrow an' stay there, I'm right behind ya, no matter what anyone says. It don't change anythin' – you're still one a' the best damn shinigami around, an' they'll want ya back anytime ya got the chance." Renji's eyes held his intently. "An' I know ya already know this, but I'll say it again anyway. I'll still be me, an' you'll still be you, an' we'll carry on like we'd planned before. This's a reminder in case it gets hard t' remember."

Ichigo nodded. He knew, he really did know, but this helped more than he ever would have expected. _This is..._ "I love it." He smiled broadly. "Yanno there's no way your sleeve'll hide this," he repeated Renji's own words, spoken only days before.

The shinigami gave him a smug grin. "Ya said yourself that's part a' the point."

"Good thing I haven't taken my bandage off yet, then, otherwise everyone'll think you're just copying me." Ichigo grinned.

"Hey, if anyone's copyin' here, it's _you_," Renji retorted good-naturedly as he retied his bandage. "I've had mine for years!"

Ichigo snorted and pulled the shinigami in for a kiss to cut off any more debate before he dug into the lunch again. "Hope you didn't put any rice balls in here."

"Hah!"

§

Ichigo sat in his office all afternoon, lost in thought. He'd given up on the paperwork and was running through his choices in his mind.

_Well I'm not gonna leave tomorrow and stay there._ He chuckled to himself – trust Renji to exaggerate to make a point. But… that did give him an idea.

Ichigo headed out to the practice yard to speak with the 3rd Division's acting captain.

"Kira, I need a favour."

§

Ichigo was ready to go. The 5th had been called out on patrol, so he hadn't had a chance to tell Renji of his plans. He didn't want to leave without speaking to his lover, but since that wasn't an option, he did the next best thing and left him a letter. He'd worked on it for an hour, destroying several false starts before taking hold of himself and just doing it.

When he was finished, Ichigo was hardly able to read over what he wrote. His face burned at the open, intimate words, but he left them as they were. The whole point of this was to express his feelings that way – and if Renji could do it, he could do it, too. Ichigo grinned and shook his head as the old competitive streak surfaced – it popped up in some unusual places sometimes, often with rather _interesting_ results.

He caught his breath as he reread the last lines. Those hadn't been difficult to write at all. He supposed that should tell him something. Ichigo's smile grew wider; he folded up the letter and left it on the table, looking around one last time before he left.

§

**_Omake_**  
Chapter 15 omake

Ichigo: This is amazing! stares at Renji's tattoo gleefully

Renji: I'm glad ya like it, but can I have my arm back?

Akuni: Didn't we already have this conversation?


	16. Chapter 16 Resolve

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while.  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 16 - Resolve**

"Hey Pop… Yuzu, Karin."

"Ichigo!" Isshin looked up from his dinner with a wide smile as Karin and Yuzu tackled their brother. "We thought that was you. Sit, eat, Yuzu made plenty."

"Ichi-nii!" his sisters chorused. Ichigo bent – not as far as he once had to – to embrace them.

"What are you doing home?" Karin demanded.

"Are you back to stay?" Yuzu asked right overtop of her.

"Ah… I'm just visiting right now. I missed you guys." Ichigo looked over at his father. "Even you, old man."

Isshin's eyes grew misty, and he started to launch himself from his chair. "My son! You—_oof!_" Ichigo stopped him with a hand on his face.

"Not _that_ much!"

Having supper with his family was almost surreal in its normality. It felt the same as it always had; listening to his sisters, dodging his father's antics, both verbal and physical. He'd adjusted quickly to being back in his body; that was a bit of a surprise, given he'd been in spirit form for months, but after the initial stiffness it was like he'd never been out of it.

After supper, Ichigo took his father aside privately for the discussion he had no idea how to start. After a half-hearted attempt at conversation, Isshin saved him the trouble by getting right to the point.

"What's going on, Ichigo?" His father was uncharacteristically sober.

_All right, I'll just spit it out._ "Pop, they've asked me to stay. They offered me the captain's seat for the 3rd." Ichigo held his breath and waited.

Isshin's eyes narrowed. "So, that's what it was," he said thoughtfully. "We knew something was going on, but…"

Ichigo was taken aback by his father's calm acceptance of the situation. "You don't seem very surprised."

"Why should I be?" Isshin asked easily. "We knew something was happening – not this, but it's not surprising. You've done a fantastic job, so why wouldn't they want you?"

Ichigo shrugged; he didn't have an answer for that.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "There's so much to think about, and…" He hesitated, struggling to say what he needed to. "My feelings keep getting in the way. I'm trying to be sensible and logical about this, but—"

Isshin's laughter cut him off.

"What's so damn funny?" Ichigo flushed, annoyed. "Quit laughin' at me!"

"I'm not laughing at you, exactly." His father continued to chuckle. "It's just… why would you try to ignore your feelings? Logic is important, but it's only one factor in the decision."

"Huh?"

"Ichigo, you have to live with your feelings. You can't just push them aside when they make things complicated."

"But… I can't make a decision like this emotionally," he objected. It was far too tempting to give in to the impulse of the moment, and this wasn't the sort of decision that could be unmade.

"No, but what you feel is as important as all the rest," Isshin told him firmly. "Never mind what I asked you before, I have a better question. What do you _want_ to do?"

"I want to protect the people that are important to me." That much he knew for certain. "Pop, I gotta ask. Was it… I mean, how did you… _argh!_" He scrubbed his hand through his hair. "How did you feel when you decided to give it all up?" he finally forced out the words.

Isshin was silent for a long time; Ichigo thought he might have crossed the line by asking so blatantly. He wanted, _needed,_ his father's advice, but not if it meant…

"It was difficult, of course. Leaving behind my life, my comrades… well, our situations are very different, of course, but the choice is the same." His father smiled at him then. "It was hard, and painful. But I will be forever grateful that I made the choice I did. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have you and your sisters, wouldn't have had your mother's love. My choice gave me my family, and I will never regret that."

Ichigo didn't know what to say to that. He dropped his gaze and fiddled with his hands as he thought. "So, my place is with my family." A dull ache began spreading in his chest, and he felt guilt welling up inside him as he tried to bury his traitorous desires.

"You already know your place, Ichigo. But it's your choice – only you can decide where that is." Ichigo looked up at the chiding tone.

"A person's place _is_ with their family," Isshin agreed. "But you have more than one family, now." He pointed at Ichigo's arm. Startled, Ichigo looked down to discover his sleeve had ridden up – he'd forgotten that his body didn't have a bandage covering the new tattoo encircling his forearm.

"But how can I choose between them?" The pain in his chest migrated to his throat, and he had trouble speaking around it without choking. "They need me, Pop, in a bad way, but that's not the only reason. I'm proud of what I've accomplished there – I helped turn that Division around. I trained them, they're _my_ people. I made a _difference_ there."

Ichigo swallowed hard, unable to stop the flow of words. "But people here need me, too. I have a life here. I have friends, good friends – Chad and the others, we've been through a lot together. And Karin and Yuzu… I don't wanna leave 'em behind. I don't wanna miss them growin' up and…" he couldn't continue.

"Who said you had to choose between them?" his father asked. "You're choosing which life you want to lead. And whichever life you choose, both of your families will still be there, still be a part of it. Just in a different way."

_Not choosing between them… choosing the life I want?_ Ichigo's thoughts crystallized around that unexpectedly profound wisdom from his normally erratic father. "I never thought about it like that before," he admitted. Hope started pushing back at the ache that had been gnawing at him as he realized just what his father was telling him.

"Of course not," Isshin shook his head. "You were too busy thinking about what it meant to everyone else, instead of trying to decide _what you want._" He turned his head away, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "Oh Masaki, our noble son!" Ichigo let that go for the time being as he turned the new thoughts over in his mind.

_What I want… What do I want?_ His heart leaped – he could choose what he wanted. _I can have what I want!_

"Thanks Pop. You've never said anythin' more helpful to me in my whole life." Ichigo braced himself. Sure enough, Isshin's arms were around him and the man was weeping tears of joy. "Oh Ichigo, Daddy is so happy!"

"Yeah, yeah." Ichigo patted his father's shoulder awkwardly, letting the man have this one moment. He owed him that much.

§

When Renji returned home from his patrol late that evening, he immediately sensed something was off. He couldn't feel Ichigo's presence anywhere nearby, and while that wasn't normally a cause for worry, today he couldn't help feeling a bit concerned.

He entered their quarters and removed his cloak and sandals as usual before he spotted the letter on the table.

_Dear Renji,_

_I know I don't have to say this stuff, I know you already know it, but I'm following your example and taking Yumichika's advice about this whole love letter thing. I know what you meant now when you wrote that you couldn't believe you were doing it. Part of me feels ridiculous writing these things down, but if I'm honest with myself, a bigger part of me feels happy to have the freedom to do it at all. And I have to admit, the thought that you'll be reading these things is a bit of a thrill._

_I'm taking your advice and going to talk to my father about all of this. Like we said the other night, if anyone would know how this feels he would. Seems weird, going to talk to him so openly about this stuff, but I guess it's time we both got used to it._

_I still don't know what to think or how to feel about all of this. I guess I always knew I'd have to choose between my duty to my family and my duty as a shinigami someday. I wish it didn't feel like whichever one I choose, I'm abandoning my responsibilities to the other. It's hard to make a rational, logical choice when I have all these feelings getting in the way. Should I even try to separate them? I don't want to leave my family behind, watch them go on living without me, and not be there to protect them. But I have other people that need me, other people I care about and want to take care of, too. An entire Division of people, and all our friends, not to mention all the others in both worlds who are being hurt by all of this. How do I choose between them, when they're both equally important to me?_

_And then there's _you_. I've been spoiled, getting to wake up next to you in our bed every morning. I love being able to tell you things right away, instead of scribbling a note on a piece of paper in my pocket and hoping I'd find it again when I write my next letter. I love being able to fight beside you, knowing you're there to watch my back if I need it, but trusting enough in me to think that I probably won't. Just like I do for you._

_Some love letter, huh? Guess that's just how we are. We're just too many things to each other at once, and they can't be separated that easily. Allies, comrades, team mates… friends, lovers, and partners in everything. No matter what else happens, those things will never, ever change. And I wouldn't trade any of them for the world. We're stuck with each other forever._

_They gave me two days extra leave, but I'm only going to be gone for one and then I'm coming back home to you. I really don't think I could stay away much longer._

_Love Ichigo_

Renji leaned back and took a deep breath. _When he does somethin', he sure does it all the way!_ These words Ichigo had left for him resonated with his own thoughts and feelings. _I'm glad t' see there ain't any doubts left behind. Nothin' can ever change what we got now._

He read over the letter again; he was aware that he was smiling like a fool, but there was no one to see in the privacy of their quarters. He tried not to read too much into those final lines, but despite his best efforts, Renji found himself daring to hope. It was that hope that forced him to admit something that he'd been hiding from them both.

_I want him t' want t' stay._

An odd relief accompanied this admission. It was true that the decision wouldn't change their feelings either way. And it was also true that he wanted Ichigo to choose for himself. But Renji knew that what he wanted for _himself_ was for Ichigo to want the same thing he did. And what he wanted more than anything was for Ichigo to _stay._

Belatedly, Renji realized that _that_ was what Ichigo had been hoping for all along – that simple admission, proof that his partner wanted him there enough to say so when it mattered the most. _An' I let him down._

Renji felt Ichigo's absence keenly when he lay alone in their bed. He'd gotten spoiled, too, having a warm body to curl up with every night. He didn't expect to be able to rest, but his day had been long and tiring, and he fell asleep before making it through the letter for a third time.

§

It was late, very late, when Ichigo crept silently through their quarters. He'd spent the evening with his father and sisters, laughing and retelling old stories. His sisters had been surprised to hear about the decision he was facing, and told him to try not to worry so much. His family's company was soothing and he enjoyed it thoroughly, but when it came time to bid them goodnight, he'd opted to return to Soul Society.

He gave up tiptoeing across the room when he heard Renji stir as Ichigo's reiatsu brushed up against his own. As their energies bonded and warmth surrounded him, the final piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"Ichigo, what're ya doin' back so soon?" Renji's sleepy mumble was muffled. The red-haired shinigami was buried face down in the pillow he was clutching – Ichigo's pillow, he noted with a smirk.

"I did what I needed to do. Too much goin' on here to take a holiday right now." Ichigo stripped out of his uniform and slipped under the blankets beside his lover, at the last second avoiding stepping on what he recognized as his letter.

He was smiling as he wrestled his pillow out of Renji's grasp and arranged himself comfortably next to the sprawled shinigami.

"Welcome home, then." Renji shifted closer. "Glad you're here. Wanna tell ya what I shoulda said last night."

"What's that?" Ichigo kept his thoughts tightly locked up at the ritual benediction.

Renji's arm slid around his waist, his body curling around Ichigo's possessively. "Stay here with me." Almost immediately his breathing grew slow and steady against the back of Ichigo's neck.

A powerful emotion welled up inside Ichigo hearing the candidly spoken desire, and he locked his feelings down even tighter. He'd give it a few days before saying anything he couldn't take back.

_Not that there's much chance of that._ He closed his eyes, peace washing over him as he quietly settled his decision.

§

The next day Ichigo went back to work, waving away Kira's suggestion to take the second day off. He wanted to try on the choice he'd made, to go through the day as if he were a permanent part of Soul Society.

It was the same as it had been the day before, but Ichigo looked at Seireitei with new eyes. Familiar places held more attachment, and he felt downright possessive when he walked into the 3rd Division headquarters.

_You were right, Pop. I do know my place._

At the end of the day, Ichigo felt _right_ about his decision to stay. He'd unwittingly built himself a life here, doing what he was best at, what he enjoyed. He had an important role to play, good friends to fight beside, and someone to share it all with every day. Stacked up against that, giving up his mortal life didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.

_My life is still my life, however and wherever I choose to live it._

§

Ichigo paced in his office, waiting for Renji to show up after the end of his shift. Three days he'd sat on his decision without telling anyone, until that afternoon when he'd gone to see the Commander-General, and Kira. The other captains would be informed of his acceptance in a matter of hours, and Ichigo wanted to make sure Renji heard it first, right from him. He would be formally proclaimed the next day, but as soon as the cloak settled on his shoulders he would be invested as the new captain of the 3rd Division.

The cloak in question was folded neatly on top of his bare desk, waiting. Ichigo made another circuit of the office. _Is he ever gonna get here? I sent that message ages ago._ Now that he was ready to make it official, he found it harder to wait these last few minutes than it had been for the entire three days prior.

Finally the approach of familiar reiatsu halted his pacing. He stood next to his desk, arms folded to keep his hands from shaking with excitement.

Renji entered with a brief knock. "Hey, what's goin' on? That hell butterfly nearly flapped its wings off gettin' t' me. What couldn't wait 'til we got home?" The red-haired shinigami closed the door behind him and turned his attention on the scene in front of him.

"I wanted you to be the first to know." Ichigo looked intently into his lover's startled eyes as he picked the cloak up off his desk. It fell neatly out of its folds, the 3rd Division insignia standing out boldly.

Renji was frozen on the spot – Ichigo couldn't sense anything from him except an acute shock. Ichigo kept his gaze firmly on the shinigami standing before him as he slipped his arms into place and settled the cloak on his shoulders.

It was done.

"I'm staying," he said, unnecessarily. His voice broke whatever was keeping Renji in stasis. Renji crossed the distance between them in a single step, his hands closing roughly on Ichigo's shoulders as his dark eyes searched Ichigo's face.

Ichigo was hit by a wall of emotion that would have knocked him off his feet had he not been ready for it. Relief, guilt, fear, and joy whipped through the room, fighting for dominance. Ichigo let the storm play out for a few moments before he clamped down on it with his own energy.

"This is what I want," Ichigo stated firmly. "It's what's best for everyone – for Soul Society, for the world, for _us…_" He held up a hand to halt Renji's protest before it began. "This is what's best for _me_. I choose this life for myself most of all, above all of that." He focused hard on letting his conviction and happiness project through their link.

It must have worked; the tension left Renji's eyes, and joy won the battle. "You're sure?" the shinigami's words came out in a rush. "You're really sure?"

Ichigo nodded, and would have offered another reassurance, but he was caught in a crushing hold and Renji seemed intent on devouring his mouth whole.

"Oi, lemme breathe, will ya Renji!" Ichigo protested, pushing his over-excited lover back with a laugh.

"Sorry, can't help it." Renji was grinning from ear to ear. "Ya just gave me the best news in years." He leaned in and kissed him again, a little less eagerly this time so Ichigo could reciprocate.

"Time t' go celebrate now!" Renji grabbed Ichigo by the wrist and tried to haul him out of the office.

"Not so fast!" Ichigo refused to be budged. "I'd rather start that right now." He gave Renji a look intended to leave no doubt as to what he wanted.

"Ya mean… right here?"

"What, you're the only one who gets to sit in his office and remember somethin' other than paperwork bein' done on his desk?" Ichigo grinned.

"Ooh, I dunno, what's it like t' have a captain for a lover?" Renji's wide-eyed exaggeration was at odds with his lascivious smirk.

"You're about to find out, if you help me get this thing off." Ichigo pulled at the cloak, trying to untangle it from his zanpakutou.

"That _is_ the idea," Renji was suddenly behind him, whispering suggestively in his ear as he disentangled Ichigo's cloak and belt.

They managed to be quick and quiet, though the offices were nearly deserted by that time. Ichigo was just getting warmed up, and was about to suggest they continue the rest of their celebration at home when an alarm began to sound. Both their Divisions were on call, so they had no time for further dalliance.

Well they'd just have to pick it up again later. There'd be plenty of opportunities from now on… they were going to have forever to do a lot of things.

That reminded him of something he'd somehow forgotten to consider. Ichigo groaned.

Renji looked at him curiously as he straightened his uniform. "What?"

"I just realized," Ichigo shook his head ruefully. "I'm gonna be sparring with Kenpachi every week for the rest of my, uh, my _whatever_… for eternity!"

Renji's eyes widened and he began to laugh.

"Hey, it's not funny!" Ichigo objected. "Just for that I'm gonna tell him you wanna join the 'fun' next time!"

"Oh ya _wouldn't!_"

"You just try me. Keep laughin', idiot, and you'll find yourself facin' that psycho _weekly_."

Renji snorted and choked down his laughter. "Ya fight dirty, Ichigo, ya really do."

Ichigo grinned. "Hell yeah. Gotta stay ahead of those stuck up bureaucrats, and keep up with you." He stopped in the doorway. "Hang on, I nearly forgot somethin'." He rummaged in a cupboard and came up with the 3rd Division's lieutenant's insignia. "Gotta give this to Kira," he explained.

Renji chuckled. "What'll they say when they find out the former acting lieutenant is makin' the former acting captain _his_ lieutenant? An' never mind how on top a' that, ya were acting captain for a while, too, an' Kira already used to be lieutenant before he was acting captain." It _did_ sound awfully convoluted laid out like that, but it was still the best choice.

"Who cares? If he'll take it, it's his. He knows the job, he's good at it, and we already know we work pretty well together."

"Can't argue with that." The other shinigami captain shook his head and laughed again as they headed out to rally their fighters. "Man, they got no idea what they let themselves in for, givin' ya that cloak."

§

_**Omake**_  
Chapter 16 omake

Akuni: _Now_ he's a captain.

…

…

Akuni: Oh for… do you two _ever_ get enough?

Akuni: …wait, what the hell am I saying? _Go for it, guys!_


	17. Chapter 17 Consequences

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** sequel to Nexus  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while. A few lines of song lyrics are included in this chapter, and they are the property of their owner(s).  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

** Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

** A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**Chapter 17 - Consequences**

"How _could_ you?!"

"What?" Ichigo stepped back as his normally mild-mannered sister exploded. He and Renji had arranged three extra days away from Soul Society right before their next weekend off to put Ichigo's affairs in the living world in order before he began his new life. The first thing on Ichigo's list of things to do was to tell his family.

Yuzu trembled from head to toe as she faced him angrily. Her wide eyes lost their shine as the tears that had gathered as Ichigo revealed his decision finally spilled over.

_Oh crap, tears?_ Ichigo glanced nervously at Karin, who was calmly watching their sister's tirade.

"You're just going to _leave_ us? Throw away your whole life?"

"Yuzu it's not like that. I'm not throwing anything away, I'm just choosing a different kind of life," Ichigo tried to explain, but he was frankly shocked at his sister's reaction, and he'd been unprepared to deal with an outburst.

"That's not _life!_" her voice broke. "You're going away, choosing _them_ over your family! To be with _him!_" Yuzu pointed at Renji without looking at him, who was staring confusedly at the hysterical girl.

"Now wait just a minute, Yuzu, that's not how it is!" Ichigo scowled.

Renji finally found his voice. "Yu-chan, c'mon, just listen t' what he—"

Yuzu whirled, levelling a teary glare at the red-haired shinigami. "Don't talk to me! This is all your fault!" she wailed accusingly. "If you hadn't… hadn't _seduced_ my brother, he'd never abandon us like this!"

"Yuzu!" Ichigo said sharply. "That's enough!" _I know she's upset but that's just goin' too far!_

She ignored him; her voice cracked again as she delivered her parting shot toward Renji. "I wish we'd never met you!" With a final sob, she fled the room. Stumbling footsteps echoed through the house, ending with a slammed bedroom door.

Renji winced, the hurt caused by Yuzu's angry words written clearly on his face. He gave Ichigo a baffled look, but all Ichigo could do was shrug helplessly in return – he was at a loss for how to deal with his sister's transformation. She'd always been so gentle and supportive, and normally she adored Renji; her outburst was completely unexpected.

"That didn't go very well," Karin observed.

"You got anything to add to that?" Ichigo asked sourly. Renji nudged his foot. "Ah, sorry Karin, I mean… what do you think?'

"It's your life, Ichi-nii. Gotta do what you gotta do, right?" Karin shrugged. "She didn't listen, you know, when you told us this might happen. She just didn't want to think about it, so this really surprised her."

"I can't understand why she'd say those things, though. I mean, last summer when Pop just _dropped_ the news, yanno, 'bout Renji… she was fine," Ichigo objected.

Karin gave him an exasperated look far too mature for her teenaged years. "Ichi-nii, we already knew about you guys before that."

"W-what?" Renji stammered.

"That's not possible, there was nothin' to know befo—" Ichigo broke off, flustered.

"Our old man knew something was going on. He made us sit and listen to a long talk about—" Karin made a face. "Never mind. My point is, do you really think it would've been that easy if we hadn't been prepared for it?"

"But I did try to prepare her," Ichigo scratched his head, confused. "I came here and talked to you guys all about it."

"She never thought you'd go through with it."

Ichigo sighed. "So are _you_ really ok with this?" _This's almost too easy after what Yuzu just pulled._

"I guess I just don't see what the big deal is, for us anyway." Karin rested her chin on her hands. "I mean, you guys can still come and visit whenever, right? I see shinigami around here all the time. It won't be much different than when you were in school, except you won't come home for supper once a week. Renji-nii visited a lot last year, so I know you won't be gone forever."

"Now if I can just get Yuzu to see that," Ichigo sighed again.

"You're supposed to go after her and make her understand," Karin told him bluntly. "She's up there waiting for you to chase her and prove you still care."

They stared at her. "She's _what?_" Renji asked incredulously.

Karin rolled her eyes. "Just go talk to her."

§

Ichigo knocked tentatively at his sister's door. "Yuzu, open up, it's me."

"Go away!" The plaintive demand ended with a muffled sob.

"No, Yuzu, we need to talk about this. I'm not goin' away, so unless ya want me to chop your door down, you'll open up."

Silence, then the soft click of the lock.

Renji urged him forward from his hidden position on the other side of the door – they'd decided Ichigo should go in first, alone.

Ichigo stepped into his sister's room. Karin had moved into Ichigo's old room when he moved out to go to college, and Yuzu's taste in furnishings ran toward the 'pink' and 'frilly'. She was lying face down on her bed, face buried in a lacy pillow.

"Yuzu, it's not goodbye forever." Ichigo started with the most important thing, just in case she started yelling again. "It'll just be like I'm livin' in another city."

Her shoulders shook. "I kn-know," she hiccupped.

"Then why're you so upset?"

"I don't know… I thought I'd never see you again." She sat up and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Ichigo handed her a tissue from the box on her desk.

"You're my sister, how could I do something that meant I'd never see you or Karin again? I'll be back as often as I can, but this is somethin' I gotta do."

"Why? Why does it have to be your job?"

Ichigo was relieved that he actually had a good answer for this question. "Yuzu, I want to protect people," he explained gently. "I have the ability to help a lot of people, in both worlds. I'm a good shinigami, and there aren't a lot of people who can be a strong captain."

She sighed. "Yeah, but why can't you be a shinigami _here_, like you were before?" She sounded resigned now.

"I got a responsibility to use my abilities the best way I can. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. And it's what I _want_ to do." Ichigo put a hand on her trembling back. "Things are pretty bad over there, Yuzu. You already know it's been spilling out into this world – like that pack of Hollows last summer that went after you and Karin. How do ya think I'd feel if that sort of thing kept happening to people when I wasn't doin' everythin' I could to stop it? There are only so many shinigami to go around, and not everyone has a big brother with friends to pull them out of danger."

The tears started falling again as his unsubtle reminder of how Renji had rescued her and Karin struck home. "I didn't mean what I said," Yuzu apologized as she wiped her face. "It was awful."

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah it was, but we'll live." His sister flung her arms around his neck and hugged him hard. He patted her back and let her cry herself out. When she finally pulled away, he handed her another tissue. "Renji wants to talk to you. You feel up to that?"

"Yeah, he can come in now."

Renji poked his head around the doorway. "How'd ya know I was there?"

Yuzu wiped her nose. "I heard your footsteps on the stairs," she snuffled. "You're a shinigami, not a ninja, Renji-nii."

The shinigami laughed softly and sat next to her on the bed. "I'll try t' do better next time."

Yuzu shook her head. "Will you really visit?" she asked wistfully.

Ichigo nodded. "Definitely."

"Both of you?"

Renji looked pleased, smiling at the girl's hopeful tone. "We promise," he squeezed an arm around her shoulders. "We'll even write, an' ya know I really suck at that."

"I… I said some pretty awful things," Yuzu looked at the floor. "I'm sorry, Renji-nii."

"Ah, that don't matter, Yu-chan." Renji shook her shoulder gently until she looked up again. "Family's real important t' me, an' I think ya should be able t' say what ya need t' your family. I don't want my li'l sister mad at me, so if we got a problem just tell me, ok?"

A small smile crept onto her tear-stained face. "We don't have a problem anymore, Renji-nii." Then she buried her face back into her pillow and began crying again.

Ichigo exchanged an anxious glance with Renji. _What've we done this time?_

"Yuzu, what—"

"It's ok, Ichi-nii," Karin came in to rescue them. "Yuzu and I need to talk."

"But—"

"About girl stuff," she said pointedly.

"Oh. Well, we'll just…" Renji was already out the door.

"Yeah, we'll go talk to Pop." Ichigo was right behind him.

§

On the third and final night, Ichigo's family and friends threw him a party. They couldn't decide if it was a going away party or a congratulatory celebration, but they all agreed it needed cake and beer and loud music.

Ichigo and Renji were greeted with an embarrassing display of paternal affection as they entered the Kurosaki family home. Isshin locked an arm around both their necks and loudly proclaimed how proud he was of his sons. Ichigo pinched the nerves in his father's hand and quickly twisted his wrist to uproot him, then Renji snapped his foot against the back of the man's knee and sent him sprawling.

"Hey Pop," Ichigo stepped around his enthusiastic father.

Renji helped the laughing man up off the floor. "Hi, Kurosaki-san."

A room full of people chorused a welcome. The Kurosaki family was joined by old friends who understood Ichigo's double life, all of them eager to give him a loud and cheerful send-off.

There were decorations _everywhere_ – if it was brightly coloured or sparkled, it was hanging somewhere in the living room, where all the furniture had been pushed back against the walls leaving a wide open space in the center. Lights shone from unknown sources, bathing the room in a confusion of colour. A new addition to the room caught Ichigo's eye, and he had to suppress a groan – his father had hauled out the karaoke machine. He didn't object to karaoke, but his father's singing left a lot to be desired.

Enticing smells pulled them into the kitchen, where the table was covered in a huge selection of food. Sandwiches, sushi, curry, and more desserts than anyone could possibly eat. And of course, Ichigo noticed with a laugh, the inevitable plate of taiyaki that Renji was already digging into. A huge tub of ice in a corner was filled to overflowing with an impressive amount of alcohol and soft drinks.

Ichigo almost couldn't believe this much could have been accomplished in so short a time – but when his father and sister got an idea, they could be a bit scary in their dedication to it. He was amazed. _Yuzu must've been cooking for days._

A glass was placed in his hand, and a firm shove put him in the centre of the room. "Wait a min—"

"Kurosaki Ichigo! Your friends are here tonight to congratulate you and send you off properly to your new job and your new life." Arisawa Tatsuki's voice rang out loud and strong as she raised her glass. "Which means, it's time to party!"

"Yeah!" Glasses went up around the room and were drained just as quickly. Someone turned on the stereo, and plates of food began appearing from the kitchen.

The drinks flowed freely, and the conversations got louder. Isshin and Tatsuki were only distracted from telling embarrassing childhood stories about Ichigo when Karin and Yuzu started passing around cake. Renji seemed a bit disappointed by that; he'd looked far too keen during the storytelling, and clearly found the idea of Tatsuki regularly beating Ichigo up in karate class especially amusing. Ichigo grinned ruefully. _He's never gonna let me hear the end of that one!_

§

Orihime had lured Tatsuki and Ishida to the centre of the room, and the three of them were dancing enthusiastically to a loud song with a fast beat. Ichigo and Chad were listening with great amusement as Renji fended off Isshin's attempts to give 'his other son' advice on everything from Hollow-slaying to how to drink Urahara Kisuke under the table.

When his father began offering romantic advice, however, Ichigo buried his head in his hands and groaned loudly. He was relieved, and more than a little bit pleased, when Renji shut the man up with a loud, "Aww c'mon Pop, quit embarrassin' me!" Isshin was moved to tears, and Yuzu helpfully intervened and led the joyfully weeping man away to compose himself.

"Ichigo, how did you hurt your arm?" Chad was frowning at his arm. Ichigo looked up in confusion. His sleeve had shifted and the newly uncovered tattoo on his forearm was exposed, barely visible in the dim light.

"Kurosaki-kun, why didn't you tell me you were injured?" Orihime sounded concerned as she and Tatsuki leaned over to investigate.

"Ah, it's not a bruise." Ichigo extended his arm for their inspection. _I'm not gonna be able to avoid this, and I don't really want to, anyway. I wanted people to see it when I got it._

"Ohh, it's a tattoo!" Tatsuki exclaimed, drawing the attention of the others in the room.

"A tattoo? Ichigo, really?" Keigo was suddenly peering over his shoulder, Mizuiro hovering behind him.

Ichigo was a bit overwhelmed by the reaction. "Ahh, yeah, it's…" he searched for the right words.

"It matches," Chad observed with a smile.

"Yeah, it matches his." Ichigo grinned and shook his head. "Ya might's well show 'em yours, too, Renji."

Ishida sniffed. "We already know Abarai-kun has a lot of tattoos, Kurosaki. We don't need to see any more of them than we already have."

"Not those," Renji scoffed, pushing back his sleeve. "This." He held up his arm readily, displaying the inked version of Zangetsu's shikai form on the underside of his forearm. "Matches in a different kind a' way."

"Hey that's _cool!_" Karin grabbed their arms and twisted them to get a better look. "Ichi-nii, why didn't you tell us you had a tattoo?"

"They're still new, we only just got them."

"Actually he's got more'n one," Renji revealed.

Ichigo groaned. "Don't tell 'em that!"

"Really? What is it? Where is it?" The slightly inebriated crowd wanted to know.

"You and your big mouth! _Four years_ I managed to keep this quiet!" Ichigo made sure to elbow Renji in the ribs as he rolled up his left sleeve, earning a punch in the arm in return from the grinning shinigami. "I don't wanna hear any _jokes_ about this, ok? I got it right after the war; it's a long story, but there was a lot of sake involved and some impulsive friends with their own tattoos."

He endured the laughter much as he'd endured Rukia's reaction in the summer. "Yeah yeah, very funny… _Ichigo_ has a _strawberry_ tattoo."

Another round of snacks drew the attention away from Ichigo again. He pushed both sleeves up to his elbows, catching the pleased thread of Renji's energy that filtered through their bond as his lover mimicked the gesture.

Ichigo accepted a refill and found himself talking with Ishida for the next half hour about how he was getting on in medical school. He had no real regrets about giving it up, but he was still interested in medicine for interests' sake.

Keigo and Mizuiro had convinced Renji to show them his spirit communicator, and they were doing their best to figure out how it worked. The red-haired shinigami laughed as they pressed the buttons randomly, insisting there had to be a game on there somewhere.

§

More hours passed, more drinks were poured, and more music was played. Ichigo needed a breather from the festivities, so he made his way back to where Renji was sitting sprawled on the floor and made himself comfortable beside his glassy-eyed lover.

"Well I gotta say, Ichigo, they sure know how t' throw a party." Renji grinned at him as Ichigo settled against him. His arm rested on the floor behind Ichigo, not quite around him and unseen from the rest of the room.

"Yep. I think Ikkaku was a bad influence on those two." Ichigo chuckled tiredly as Tatsuki tried to swing at Keigo and Mizuiro at the same time when they tripped over her feet and landed in her lap.

They fell silent, enjoying the company and the atmosphere, watching the antics of their friends. Ichigo had no idea how much time passed until he heard his name repeated loudly several times.

"What?" Ichigo blinked blearily. Someone was speaking to him. _Must've spaced out there for a bit._ He shook his head a bit to clear it.

"It's _cute!_"

"What?" Ichigo repeated cluelessly. "What're ya talkin' 'bout?" _Damn I'm _really _drunk. That or she's makin' less sense than usual._ He'd had… he'd lost count of how many times his glass had been filled by his enthusiastic friends.

"You two're all…" Orihime flapped her hand at Ichigo and Renji where they sat on the floor, leaning against each other for support. "Connecty."

"Connect…huh?" Renji squinted at the bubbly young woman who was suddenly kneeling in front of them and peering intently at the air around them.

"Ooh it's all sparkly and tingly, like little purple lightnings!" she giggled.

Something in that penetrated the alcohol-induced fog, and Ichigo realized she was talking about their reiatsu. He gathered what little remained of his concentration and focused on the light connection they usually maintained in company. Except it wasn't a light connection anymore, but a very obvious bonding; they weren't fully meshed, but there was no mistaking this energy link between them.

"Oh," he mumbled. _I should probably care about this, but… eh._ He was having the time of his life; he had good food, good music, and good friends around him, and he was relaxing happily on this final night with nothing pressing on his mind before he left to go to Soul Society permanently. He felt Renji's excitement as clearly as his own, excitement that had barely waned since Ichigo had announced his decision to become a full-time shinigami.

Renji shrugged against his shoulder. "Oops?" He didn't seem particularly concerned, either.

Orihime patted them both on the head as she stood and danced off, a bit unsteadily, in search of more cake.

"Ok, I'll try'n…" Renji straightened up a bit. "Damn this's hard t' do drunk." Ichigo felt him focus and attempt to bring his wandering energy under control, but it was a lost cause.

"Don't bother, Abarai-kun," Ishida Uryuu's voice drawled lazily from across the room. "You're pathetically obvious, you know."

Renji snorted. "Mind yer own business, Quincy-boy."

"It _is_ my business, _shinigami_, and the business of everyone in the room to whom you're choosing to display your… enthusiasm." Ishida's lip curled sardonically, but the way his eyes danced behind his glasses gave away his good humour.

Ichigo snickered. "Shut up, Ishida. Go sew somethin'." He offered their smirking friend a crooked grin.

Ishida rolled his eyes. "Oh so funny, Kurosaki. All these years and you can't come up with anything more original?"

"Gotta go with the classics."

"Classics! Yes!" Isshin leaped up and flicked the switch on the karaoke machine.

"No don't let him—" Ichigo spoke too late. His father had already grabbed the microphone, and was making his selection. It was mercifully short, and Orihime saved them all by rushing up immediately after Isshin had finished destroying an old ballad. She sang something in French – not perfectly, but with feeling, and far better than the previous performance.

Everyone else, even Ichigo, had taken at least one turn before Yuzu noticed that Renji hadn't stepped up once. "Renji-nii, you need to sing, too!"

Renji shook his head. "Ain't got no voice," he confessed. "I don't sing."

"You lie!" Ichigo held the microphone out to the reluctant shinigami. "You sing in the shower."

"Che, everyone does _that,_" Renji argued. "Don't mean they're _good_ at it."

Yuzu dismissed his argument with a wave of her hand. "Ichi-nii can sing with you!"

"Sure," Ichigo agreed easily. _My singing's ok – good enough not to embarrass myself, and Renji's not _that_ bad. Definitely not's bad as our old man, and we've already had to listen to him twice._

Renji wobbled to his feet, and stood unsteadily at Ichigo's side. "Yer all gonna regret this," he warned.

"Here's a good one for you," Ishida set the song with a smirk.

Ichigo recognized it right away. "I'll get ya for this," he glared at the Quincy as the music played.

Ishida was unfazed. "I think everyone will agree it's suitable."

Ichigo held the microphone up between them and picked the song up at the chorus.

_Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?  
It's my desire, it's my desire, it's my desire!_

Renji chimed in with him for the rest.

_Danger! Danger! High Voltage!  
When we touch, when we kiss._

Tatsuki was rolling on the floor laughing, tears streaming down her face. Chad and Isshin wore matching grins, and Ishida just looked smug.

It wasn't that bad. Ichigo knew he sang fairly well, keeping the tune steady – as steady as he could with that much alcohol in him – while Renji made up for his lack of skill with enthusiasm and sincere emotion. Their voices blended together uniquely, Ichigo's smooth notes sliding across Renji's rougher tones. Ichigo found to his surprise that he rather liked the way it sounded.

_Only other time we hear this sorta thing is when…_ Ichigo was glad the lights were so low, as memories of other times their voices cried out together intruded, and nearly made him lose his place.

_Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?  
It's my desire, it's my desire, it's my desire!_

Ichigo was having fun in spite of his threat; Renji was _definitely_ enjoying himself, playing up to their encouraging audience. He exchanged a grin with Renji as the shinigami grabbed and pulled the microphone closer, bringing him laughing along with it.

_Danger! Danger! High Voltage!  
When we touch, when we kiss._

The song _was_ a good choice; as they sang the final chorus, Ichigo realized that the reiatsu they hadn't bothered separating was echoing their enjoyment, sparking as their hands shifted together on the microphone. The smirks on the faces of their friends proved that it hadn't gone unnoticed. They looked at each other and grinned again, leaping and turning back to back to finish the song with a flourish.

When the song was done, the group applauded and began coercing Renji into singing the latest release from a popular Tokyo band. Ichigo excused himself to the kitchen to get another round of drinks for everyone, staying there until the urge to haul his lover into the nearest bedroom passed.

§

"Renji-kun, we need to speak with you."

"Eh?" Renji attempted to focus on the three earnest – if somewhat flushed – faces in front of him. "What's up?"

Karin, Orihime, and Tatsuki sat across from him and glanced at each other meaningfully. Their glances made him nervous; Renji tossed back the rest of his drink, thinking he was probably going to need more very soon.

"We just want to make sure you understand the situation," Orihime explained.

"Uh, ok?"

Tatsuki spoke up next. "We're trusting you with a lot, here."

_What'n the hell're they talkin' 'bout?_ Renji nodded, playing along as he wracked his not-sober brains trying to figure out what the three young women were looking so determined about. "I'll do my best?" he offered.

Karin rolled her eyes at her companions. "He's even drunker than the two of you; we have to be a little more specific here." She turned back to the confused shinigami. "You. Ichigo. You and Ichigo. It's your job to be good to him, not to hurt him," she explained slowly. "And you'd _better_ do your best, or we _will_ come find you…" she trailed off meaningfully.

_Ah._ "Right. I'll do my best," he assured them. They nodded approvingly.

§

Ichigo wasn't sure how he'd ended up dancing. He was even less sure how _Renji_ had ended up dancing next to him. He hadn't even realized the red-haired shinigami knew how, but he was doing a decent job of it despite the occasional stumble when someone's feet wandered across his path.

_Wait, what? Path?_

An arm was flung over his shoulder. "Huh?" It was Keigo.

"We're gonna miss you, Ichigo!" His old friend had his other arm slung around Mizuiro's waist, who in turn was connected to Tatsuki. "It won't be the same without you!"

Another arm claimed his waist – he knew without looking this time that it was Renji. His lover had been drawn into the circle as well, by _Chad_ of all people, who'd been pulled in by Orihime – and even Ishida was there, completing the circle between Orihime and Tatsuki.

_What the hell is this?_ "Er… I'm gonna miss you guys, too. But not _this_ much!"

"Kurosaki-kun, we're not going to see you for ages, maybe years! You can dance with us just this once, don't be such a stick!" Orihime's nose and cheeks were bright red, and her eyes danced as happily as her feet. Ichigo couldn't help joining in his friends' contagious laughter.

Renji's snicker made him laugh even more. "Yeah Ichigo, don't be a stick, we already got enough uptight captains."

"Hah, I'm more fun than Byakuya an' Soi Fong _any day,_" he declared. "Put together!" Renji snorted a laugh.

"But I'm not drunk enough yet for this!" Ichigo announced loudly. He broke away, snatching up the first full glass he saw and draining it before resuming his place in the circle. "Ok, _now_ I can do this!"

The music didn't matter – the disorderly group twisted and sang to everything Isshin played, from popular new music to old foreign tunes in languages they didn't even recognize. The one thing they all had in common was a loud, fast beat, and that was enough.

When at last the dance music ended and something softer began playing, Ichigo was more than ready to take a break. The room was spinning from the booze, the wild dancing, and the friends' unrestrained excitement stirring the energy in the room.

He wiped his face on his sleeve and turned to leave the circle when he was suddenly shoved into the centre of the room.

"Wha--!?"

"Oof!" He turned just in time to see Renji falling toward him as the shinigami received a similar push. They staggered together, grabbing each other frantically by the arms as they struggled to find their balance.

"…the hell?"

They forced themselves upright, still clinging to each others' arms. "Who did that?" Ichigo demanded.

Faces all around were grinning at them. "We did!" they chorused.

"Why?"

"We're not finished dancing yet, Kurosaki-kun," Orihime said helpfully.

He looked around the circle, confused. "We can't dance to this!"

"Come on, Kurosaki, anyone can dance to this, even you" Ishida's sarcastic tone was laced with laughter as he offered Tatsuki a hand and pulled her into a formal embrace.

"Well yeah, but…" Renji stopped as understanding flitted across his face. "We can't—"

"Why can't you?" Orihime smiled as she stepped in front of Chad and lifted her arms.

"I… I dunno." Renji looked at him. "Why can't we?"

Ichigo thought about it, but came up blank. "I dunno, either." He moved a hand from Renji's arm to his shoulder. Renji gave him a crooked smile and moved closer, mirroring his posture. Ichigo's arm fit nicely around his lover's waist. _You'd think we'd know how to do this, but it's a bit different than holding each other in bed!_

They moved together hesitantly at first, but with growing confidence as their bodies fell into an easy rhythm together. _Hmm, maybe it's more like bein' in bed than I thought…_

Ichigo looked around curiously; Chad and Orihime were laughing softly together about something, and Ishida and Tatsuki were engaged in an intense debate. Mizuiro partnered a blushing Yuzu while Keigo spun Karin energetically, both pairs under Isshin's watchful eye. He shook his head and chuckled as Keigo panicked after stepping on Karin's foot.

"What's so funny?"

"My father," Ichigo steered them around so Renji could watch Isshin terrorizing Keigo with only a stern look.

Renji laughed softly. "Poor guy." His arm left Ichigo's shoulder and joined the one wrapped around his waist. "This's nice."

Ichigo returned the embrace and pulled himself in closer. "Yeah." Renji leaned his forehead against Ichigo's, a silly grin playing at his lips. They moved together in silence for a while, content simply to look into each others' eyes while swaying with the music.

"We're _really_ drunk, aren't we?" Renji mumbled happily.

"Oh yeah." Ichigo shifted, putting his arms all the way around his lover and laying his head down on his shoulder. He smiled and closed his eyes when he felt Renji move to match him again.

The slow song was long; Ichigo wasn't familiar with it, but the lyrics in the chorus caught his attention. The way Renji's arms tightened around him, he knew he felt it, too.

Ichigo tilted his head toward his partner's ear. "That's right," he whispered softly. "We _can_ trust in this. Forever."

"Forever." Renji's lips brushed his neck with his murmured reply. Just then, they no longer cared how strongly their reiatsu reflected their feelings.

They remained like that until the song ended several minutes later.

§

The rest of the evening was given over to laughter and foolishness. Chad and Keigo were fixated on the notion of finding a traffic cone – something they'd seen on a foreign television program – but their adventure was called off when Keigo ran full-tilt into a wall and nearly knocked himself out. Mizuiro peered down at him curiously from under the lampshade hat balanced precariously on his head.

The girls were dancing again, with Ishida somehow managing to partner them all at once. When Ichigo realized that all eyes were finally _not_ on him, he nudged Renji and casually slipped out of the room and into the kitchen.

They were definitely on the same wavelength; Renji met his embrace eagerly, pressing him back against the counter as they shared a rather sloppy drunken kiss.

"Been wantin' t' do that all night," Renji confessed with a grin as they pulled apart briefly. "This's a great party, but I'm lookin' forward to bein' alone with ya later." The press of his hips against Ichigo's made his meaning very clear.

"Mmhmm." Ichigo agreed, but he had better things to do with his mouth than talk just then. He leaned in again, pulling his lover hard against him with a hand on his waist and another on the back of his neck. Renji's arm went around him as lips and tongues met once more, the rough hand on his cheek caressing, and…

"OH!" They jumped apart at the startled exclamation. Ichigo was sure he was red from head to toe as he realized what he'd just been doing, and who had just caught him at it.

Karin and Chad stood in the doorway, hands filled with empty plates and glasses.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt," Chad drawled, amused.

"I… oh fuck, sorry, we shouldn't—" Renji babbled, flushing brightly. Karin's laughter cut him off.

"It's not a newsflash, Renji-nii… Lovers _kissing,_ who would've thought it?!" She gave him a fake-astonished look. "Oh no, your secret is out!" Karin snickered and rolled her eyes, looking and sounding a great deal like her big brother.

"Shaddap." Ichigo pushed away from the counter to pick his sister up and threaten to dunk her in the sink.

"Hey, quit it! Stop or I'll… _Daaaaaaaad!!_ Ichigo was—"

He clamped a hand over her mouth. "Gah, Karin no!"

"Ichigooooooooooo!"

"Argh!"

§

It was late – or early, depending on how you looked at it – when the party began breaking up. Karin called for taxis, and one by one Ichigo bid his old friends farewell, not really objecting to the sobbing and the hugs from people he knew he wouldn't see again for a long time.

Ichigo and Renji elected to walk back to Ichigo's flat, letting the cold winter air sober them up a bit. Amazingly, they made it there without any major mishaps, and managed to enter the flat quietly so as not to disturb the neighbours.

"Been a while since we spent so much time here," Renji remarked, looking around at the nearly empty flat. Before the party, they'd spent the day packing up the few things Ichigo wanted to take with him back to Soul Society.

"Mmhmm." Ichigo flopped back on the bed. Renji fell beside him with a long sigh, head spinning a bit from the alcohol they'd consumed at the party.

"Yanno, I think I'm gonna miss this place."

Renji raised himself on one elbow and leaned over to smirk at his lover. "What part? The tiny kitchen, or maybe the thin walls?" _Got a pretty good idea what he means, but I want t' hear him say it._

"Quit fishin', you know exactly what I'm talkin' about," Ichigo chuckled. "Got a lotta good memories here."

"Yup, me too," he agreed. "Just wanted t' hear ya say it."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "I think I'm gonna miss that shower the most… though I do like the bath we got at home."

Renji smiled. _Home sounds good._ "So what do ya want ta do with your last night with your mortal body?"

"Man, that sounds weird." Ichigo sat up and leaned against the wall, which was bare for the first time in years of all the photos that had adorned it. "My last night with _my body_."

A thought occurred to Renji then. "You'll need t' use a gigai when ya come back," he realized. "An' I'll definitely be there t' laugh when ya get stuck! Serve ya right after all those times ya made fun a' me." He slapped Ichigo's leg gleefully as he laughed.

Ichigo snorted and punched his shoulder. "Idiot. I won't get stuck."

"Wanna bet?"

"Hah, you'll lose."

"We'll see. So c'mon, what do ya want t' do?" Renji nudged the other man with his foot.

"Make more memories." The grin Ichigo flashed him was accompanied by a noticeable increase in the energy level in the room.

Renji started to sit up, but then he was being pressed back against the mattress as Ichigo straddled his waist. He licked hungrily at the hot mouth fastened onto his, deciding as his lover sucked on his tongue that making these kinds of memories was indeed the best way a person could spend their last night as a mortal.

§

_**Omake**_  
Chapter 17 omake

Yuzu: That was a fun party, but…

Karin: …why do _we_ get stuck cleaning up?!

Keigo: (snores)

Mizuiro: (snores)

Tatsuki: (snores)

Orihime: (snores)

Chad: (snores)

Ishida: (snores)

Isshin: …

Yuzu/Karin: (hastily) Never mind, we'll do it ourselves!!

-elsewhere-

Renji/Ichigo: (sexing it up)

Ichigo: Crap, I think we actually managed to break the shower this time…

Renji: Whoops… hope the old man doesn't want his damage deposit back.

* * *

**A/N2:** Song to listen to while reading a certain bit of this chapter: 'Nothing Else Matters' by Metallica. 


	18. Chapter 18 Metamorphosis

**Title:** Apotheosis  
**Series:** Amaranthine (second in series; sequel to Nexus)  
**Author:** Akuni  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Rating:** M for 'Much Smut'  
**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo  
**Spoilers:** read through Soul Society & Arrancar Arcs  
**Summary:** One year after Nexus, Ichigo and Renji face personal challenges and a new crisis that threatens everyone.  
**Word Count:** 65,500ish  
**Warnings:** There is more talk about the war with Aizen that I wrote around in Nexus. There are mentions of character deaths during the war, but they're mostly minor. Should also be noted that there's some definite Shuuhei/Yumichika subtext, and off camera Hitsugaya/Hinamori.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, I'm just borrowing it for a while. A few lines of song lyrics are included in this chapter, and they are the property of their owner(s).  
**Distribution:** Also posted to my LJ. Please ask if you want to share it :)

**Dedication:** To my wonderful beta Shelagh, for putting up with my writing process and for drawing the amazing art that goes with my stories. She keeps me on the path of reality when my feet try to take me down sugar plum lane. And for Sara, our partner in fangirling and BL love, for helping us stay silly and sane. And I suppose even for my husband, who has had to endure my mental love affair with Renji, my extended hours on my laptop writing this beast, and my ups and downs while writing it. One night we got drunk and he let me read all my fics out loud to him in one night (yes, even all of Nexus) - my voice was ruined the next day, but we had a great laugh. He laughed in all the right places, and wouldn't let me chicken out and stop reading at the sexy bits. :)

And as always, to all my fellow Renji/Ichigo fangirls/guys out there. We know it's impossible, we know it's silly, and we know it's _damned hot!_

**A/N:** I said Nexus ate my life - I was wrong. So very wrong. The idea for Apotheosis came to me while I was still writing Nexus, and I scribbled down a couple pages of notes as I went along. Nexus was posted at the end of August, and it's now December. I've only taken a handful of days off writing this story - I even took my notebook to work and scribbled lines and scenes as they came to me. This is definitely an obsession. And I loved every minute of it. I hope you all do, too.

* * *

**NEWS - NOV 26/07: **The third story in the series is called 'Covenant', and I will begin posting it Monday, December 3, 2007.

* * *

**Chapter 18 - Metamorphosis**

In the morning, Ichigo was up early and ready to go. He slung his knapsack with the last of his possessions over his shoulder and left without a backward glance. Renji followed silently, nursing a hangover but still smiling beneath the dark sunglasses shading his vision.

They stopped at the Kurosaki home for a quick breakfast and a 'farewell for now' with the family. Ichigo left the keys to his now _former_ flat with his father, who would retrieve the last of the furniture and settle things with the landlord.

Yuzu insisted on sending the leftovers from the party with them, convinced that "Ichi-nii and Renji-nii are too busy to learn to cook properly." Ichigo's pack bulged, but they accepted her offering, grateful that she was doing her best and not holding any resentment over Ichigo's choice.

To Ichigo's surprise, Karin was the one standing back with suspiciously bright eyes as Yuzu fussed.

"Ichi-nii, make sure you take care of Renji-nii," Yuzu admonished. "Don't work too hard." She hugged them in turn, laughter returning to her voice as she insisted she was too old for that now when Renji swung her up like he used to.

Karin squared her shoulders and, with a set look on her face, advanced on the red-haired shinigami as soon as he'd set Yuzu back on her feet.

Renji reached out to muss her hair, but Karin ducked and caught his hand. She motioned for him to bend low. Karin leaned toward the bowed head and stage whispered in his ear. "Take care of Ichi-nii, or remember I _will_ find Orihime and Tatsuki to hold you down while I pound you."

"You got it," Renji promised, returning the hug the young woman threw around his shoulders. As he straightened, a small hand slapped the top of his head, tangling deliberately in his hair and knocking the spiky tail askew. "Hey!"

"Payback," Karin grinned at him. Then she turned at last to her brother.

Ichigo bent to gather his sister in his arms. She squeezed his neck tightly, not saying anything for a long time.

"Don't forget us, Ichi-nii," she finally whispered.

"Not a chance," he assured her, squeezing back as strongly as he dared. He let her go when she grunted from the force.

Ichigo faced his father. "Time to go, Pop."

Isshin looked surprised when Ichigo stepped up and hugged him voluntarily. He nodded and smiled. "Take care, my sons."

§

"Ahh, Kurosaki-san!" Urahara welcomed them into his dusty shop. "Right on time."

"Hi, Urahara-san." Ichigo looked around. "Where are the others?"

"They're downstairs, getting ready." Urahara peered up at him from the shadows of his striped hat. "Are _you_ ready?"

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah."

"Then let's begin." The exiled shinigami led them into his odd basement.

Memories assaulted Ichigo, of so many hours spent there. He thought especially about that first summer with Renji; he couldn't help but chuckle when Renji nudged him as they passed the remains of a shattered boulder.

Tessai stood alone in front of the gate they'd been using to travel back and forth to Soul Society since the war. Urahara was still exiled, but now he was the unofficial liason between the Soul Society and the living world – a role for which he was uniquely suited.

Brief greetings were exchanged as Urahara fiddled near the gate. Eventually, he stood back and looked expectantly at Ichigo.

Ichigo shared a confused look with Renji. "So, what now? How do I become a permanent shinigami?"

"It's very simple, Kurosaki-san – you have to die."

Ichigo stared. Beside him, Renji looked on in open-mouthed astonishment.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Ichigo demanded, advancing on the man he'd come to trust more than he thought possible during the war. "This'd better not be one of your tricks!"

"No tricks, Kurosaki-san." Benihime suddenly seemed very _conspicuous_ resting in the crook of Urahara's arm.

Ichigo stood his ground. "Explain," he said shortly.

"To become a real, full-time, permanent shinigami, you need to leave your mortal life behind and cross over into the land of the dead." Urahara dropped the piercing gaze and fluttered his fan. "That means you have to give up your body and go to Soul Society," he explained brightly.

"We _know_ that part!" Renji sounded as annoyed as Ichigo felt.

"_How_ do I do that? I can't just leave my body lyin' on the ground, right?"

"Oh no, definitely not! That just wouldn't be the same at all." The eccentric shopkeeper dropped the vapid smile, and pointed Benihime at the gate. "You remember when we sent your friends with you to Soul Society, to help save Kuchiki Rukia… we installed spirit exchangers to turn their physical bodies into spirits, and then turn them back when you all returned."

"Right! Because only spirits can go to Soul Society. But," Ichigo frowned. "I'm already a spirit when I'm in my shinigami form, it's my body that's the problem now."

"We installed a different kind of spirit exchanger this time. It only works on flesh and bone bodies, of course," Urahara explained. "This one will reshape your entire being. Your shinigami form will become your _only_ form. Your mortal life will be over. You will be _dead,_ like any other shinigami."

"What happens to my body?"

Urahara looked at him consideringly. "It's rather… complicated. And it's a one-way process – do you really need to know any more than that?"

Ichigo shook his head. "I knew it was a one-way trip when I made the decision." One corner of his mouth twitched up in a crooked grin. "Renji's already lookin' forward to seein' me struggle with a gigai the first time I come back for a visit."

Urahara laughed. "We'll save a really special one just for you."

"So that's it? Just step through the gate and I'm a shinigami?" _This sounds too easy._

"Not quite. Do you remember what Yoruichi-san told you about travelling through to Soul Society that time?"

Ichigo scratched his head thoughtfully. "Er, somethin' about puttin' your heart into it?"

Urahara nodded approvingly. "Very good, Kurosaki-san! I didn't expect you'd remember."

"Hey I remember important stuff!" Ichigo huffed. "Just tell me the rest."

"You have to focus your heart and soul on the task, make it the thing you want most in the whole world. You have to move forward, through the gate, through the process and out to the Soul Society side where you will have been fully transformed into a permanent shinigami like all the others."

"Wouldn't have come this far if I wasn't fully committed to the idea, Urahara-san." Ichigo said firmly. "Anything else I need to know, or can we do this already?"

"That's all, Kurosaki-san!" Another flutter. "It's ready when you are."

"Right then. Let's do it." Ichigo glanced at Renji before moving forward. The red-haired shinigami nodded and moved up behind him.

When Ichigo stepped through the gate, he was surrounded by darkness, and a warm, tingling energy field. He focused hard on his goal. _Going to Soul Society and becoming a full shinigami._ He chanted the phrase like a mantra in his mind as the warm tingle turned into molten knives piercing his very being.

"Argh, Urahara you bastard you didn't tell me it was gonna _hurt!_" The pain was excruciating – he felt like he was burning from the inside out.

_Going to Soul Society and becoming a full shinigami!_

He ran blindly, holding firmly to his resolve as the pain lanced through him.

_Going to Soul Society! Becoming a full shinigami!_

He stumbled; it felt like his flesh was melting, tearing itself away from his bones… he pushed forward… running, tripping, falling...

_Going to… Soul Society! Becoming… a full shinigami!_

He could see the light shining in the darkness. He gathered the last of his strength.

_Going to Soul Society… becoming a full shinigami… protecting everyone I love forever… Renji…!_

With a wordless scream, he threw himself into the light.

§

Ichigo blinked rapidly in the bright sunlight. _When I get my hands on him, I swear I'm gonna…_

He looked himself over quickly. His shinigami uniform looked the same as it always did, Zangetsu's comforting weight strapped reassuringly to his back. His white cloak stirred in the light breeze.

_I did it._

"I did it," he repeated aloud, absently smoothing the folds of his cloak. Everything seemed new and distant. He felt… odd.

"'Course ya did. Ya wouldn't pick a time like this t' _fail,_ would ya?" The rough voice pulled his awareness back into place.

Ichigo's head snapped up. His lover was standing beside him, grinning broadly. "Renji!"

Renji laughed. "Expectin' someone else? We _did_ just come through that gate together." When Ichigo didn't respond, his eyes narrowed. "What happened in there?"

Ichigo shook his head. "Felt like I was bein' dipped in fuckin' _lava,_" he growled. "Remind me to hit Urahara the next time we go back there. _Hard._" Renji snickered.

The two shinigami captains began walking toward Seireitei. "So where to now?" his partner asked.

"We're still off for another two days, right?"

Renji nodded. "Yep."

"And I took care of all outstanding Division business before we left, right?"

"Yep."

Ichigo let out a relieved breath. "Then let's go home before someone finds out we're here and wants to throw another party… I'm exhausted!"

§

Renji couldn't stop looking at his lover's sleeping form. _I get t' wake up t' this every day, forever._ His heart swelled, and his fingers trembled as he brushed a piece of hair out of Ichigo's face.

_So sexy, even asleep._ Renji smiled and shook his head as Ichigo rolled over on his back, taking most of the blankets with him. One of Ichigo's hands came to rest on Renji's thigh, its random twitching sending teasing shocks to his groin.

_Now that'd be a good way t' wake up._ Renji grinned as he pushed the blankets down to the floor and took in the sight of his lover's naked form stretched out so appealingly beside him.

_Irresistible. An' all mine._

His loose braid fell over his shoulder, the tip brushing over the firm stomach muscles as Renji slid his lips down over his lover's arousal. He swept his tongue over the rigid flesh while his fingers fondled the sensitive areas of the body he knew so well.

_This's just too damn good._ Renji's own body ached in response to the activity; he reached a hand down and stroked himself slowly as he mentally changed his plans for the day.

Ichigo's hips twitched upward with each squeeze; Renji could feel the tension in his lover quickly approaching the peak as he sucked hungrily.

_Too close… better wake him up or he'll miss the good part._ He let go of himself and rubbed small circles over Ichigo's chest, gently tweaking the pert nipples.

Ichigo shifted a little more, his eyelids fluttering.

_If this don't wake him up, nothin' will._ Renji swallowed hard against the heat pressed against the back of his throat.

Ichigo's eyes flew wide open as he woke with a gasp. One startled downward glance was all he had time for before his head snapped back and his body spasmed. Renji could barely make out the start of his name in his lover's garbled cry. He revelled in the sensuous sight before him; the rapture that washed through their bond was so intense he nearly lost it himself.

"Good mornin'." Renji kissed the quivering stomach muscles before raising his eyes to meet his panting lover's glazed stare.

"What was that for?" Ichigo asked breathlessly. "Please tell me so I can make sure to do it every day."

Renji chuckled. "Couldn't help myself. Ya just looked so tasty." He began stroking himself again, deliberately, as he continued nibbling his way up his lover's body. The energy swirling around them made him dizzy with the need to join their bodies together.

Ichigo reached for the trailing braid, pulling insistently to bring Renji's mouth in range of his own.

"You look a bit busy there," Ichigo ran his tongue over Renji's lips. "Lemme give you a hand with that."

"Plea—_nngh_." Another shaft of desire shot through him as strong fingers took over, much more swiftly than his own preparatory touches.

"Fun as it is to watch, I really need to touch you right now."

The _need_ was still powerful and strong. His lover's firm grasp was electric, pulling a desperate moan from deep within his chest as he was quickly taken to the edge. Ichigo's tongue pushing in to explore every corner of his mouth was Renji's undoing. His head spun as expert hands prolonged the pleasure that shook his whole body and flooded their bond with ecstasy.

Ichigo's arms and legs pulled him down beside him, holding him close as he shuddered. His lover's eyes held him fast; he watched as Ichigo licked at a sticky spot on his thumb.

Renji groaned. "Damn it's hot when ya do stuff like that. Thought I was seducin' you, here, but I ain't so sure anymore." He ran his lips over Ichigo's neck and shoulder.

Ichigo's tongue found Renji's ear. "Oh you are, lover," he breathed.

"It's mutual, then. I need ya so bad, I can barely stand it." Renji pulled back to give Ichigo a serious look. "I got ya here, now, we're livin' in our forever, but I don't wanna let ya go for a second, an' I got no idea why." He held Ichigo's gaze as he brought their lips together.

"I think I understand," Ichigo replied softly. His arms wound tighter around Renji's waist and neck, his forehead pressing against Renji's. "I wanna be with you so much it hurts." Renji felt the answering need through their linked reiatsu.

They sated themselves in each other over and over. The intoxicating flow of energy between them intensified the whispered endearments that came straight from their connected hearts. Renji lost himself in Ichigo's deliciously heated embrace, finding himself again when his lover moved perfectly inside him.

They didn't usually feel the need to fill the air with conversation, but today was different. As they rested in each others' arms, they talked endlessly, of anything and everything. Of their plans for the future, for themselves, for Soul Society, of the things Ichigo wanted to do for his new Division, and of the love and trust they shared.

Around noon they made an effort to pull themselves together. They shared a long soak and a small meal, but they were drawn back to each other's arms time and time again, unable to part, and unwilling to stop. With fresh bedding and a pitcher of water next to them, their tightly meshed reiatsu flared again.

They lay still when they finally rode out the flood of exquisite emotion, happily exhausted and content to rest, satisfied simply to feel each others' hearts beat against their chests.

"Ichigo…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad ya stayed." A tired arm draped itself around his waist.

Ichigo returned the loose embrace. "Me too, Renji."

"Sleep now?"

"Definitely."

§

The cool night was still. Quiet breathing was the only indication that the peaceful room was occupied.

The lovers slept easily, the usually animated faces softer in sleep. They shared one pillow, the other askew off the end of the futon. Fingers wound gently through the long red hair, their tips just barely caressing a tanned cheek. The tattooed forehead was pressed against a lighter-skinned temple; short strands of bright orange mingled with the vibrant red, making a little spot of flame on the pillow beneath them.

Most of the blanket had been pulled to the side, exposing their legs. They were remarkably intertwined, making it difficult to see just which limb belonged to whom, the subtle difference in skin tone the only small clue. The hand on the smooth neck and shoulder was covered by another, fingers curling gently; an intricately inked wristband stood out against one lover's lighter skin, in a pattern similar to the markings worn by the other.

One long arm had pinned down the last corner of the blanket before it too slipped away, the curve of one hip already exposed, along with the entirety of the muscled back that was covered in even more complex designs. The stripes running down the arm turned into a thick, twisted ribbon that ran down to the hilt of a uniquely shaped sword whose point ended on the pulse of the wrist.

They remained entwined the rest of the night, the promise of forever an unbreakable covenant between them.

§

**_Omake_**  
Chapter 18 omake

Akuni: We've reached the end of another installment in the Amaranthine series. This is the end of 'Apotheosis', but we're already hard at work on the third story!

Ichigo: Why were you planning the smut for the next story when you were still writin' this one?

Akuni: Ehhh… (sweatdrop)

Renji: Motivation. (big dorky Renji grin)

Akuni: Yes! That's it! (Aside: Phew, thanks)

Ichigo: Ohhh... (eyes light up)

Renji/Akuni: …

Ichigo: Hey... do you take requests?

Renji: (suspicious) What kinda requests?

Ichigo: (innocent) Oh nothin' weird. Just, yanno, requests.

Akuni: Um, maybe… what've you got in mind?

Ichigo: Well Renji had this dream the other night, an—

Renji: NO! NO FUCKIN' WAY!!

Ichigo: Aw c'mon, it might be fun!

Renji: I am DEFINITELY NOT wearin' that!

Akuni: I don't think I wanna know… Goodbye for now, everyone! Hope you'll join us again!

* * *

**A/N2:** It's been a wild ride. :) Thank you everyone! Please go check out the story on my LJ so you can see the amazing artwork my friend Shelagh has done for this story, as well as additional story information and a soundtrack. It is absolutely worth the trip! http:// akuni . livejournal . com / 9214 . html 


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